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Tween Titans Tween Titans

is this a battle to choose?

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:42 AM
  • 31 Replies
It's chilly in the morning but not freezing. It's actually a nice change from the hot weather. Anyway, my husband is adamant that the girls not only have a sweater but zip it up. I know my oldest well enough that its uncomfortable to her to zip it up unless its really cold. Yesterday he didn't let her in the car until she zipped it up and of course she is crying because she doesn't want to so now she is taking longer because she has tears in her eyes and can't see well. Then he is telling to "hurry up".

I'm irritated that he is forcing her to do this. I tell him that I trust her judgment and he starts on this "you are not always right" thing. To me, its just not a battle to choose. She is old enough to make a decision and I allow her to.

What do you think?
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by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ashmac03
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:45 AM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, I think your husband is being ridiculous.  He needs to learn to pick his battles and this isn't one worth fighting over.  I honestly don't see why it's a big deal at all.  If she's cold she will put on and zip up her own jacket.  

jclovinlife
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:59 AM
Let her in on a little secret, Daddy wants it zipped so he won't worry about her, ask her to do it for Daddy.
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psych_mom
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:04 AM
Personally it isn't a battle I would fight over. I would talk to her and just let her know that it's something that makes her dad happy and he worries that she is going to get cold.

To me, it sounds like he is taking the control a little too far with this but it could end up blowing up into a huge battle.
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Rogue35
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:24 AM
I would tell her to keep it ziped while she is with her dad. When she get dropped off she can do what she wants. I think she knows if she is cold or not.
M4LG5
by Valeri on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:27 AM
He has done this to her over and over. He made a BIG DEAL when she wanted to cut her hair to have bangs. I asked him to let her make the choice and he kept saying....even to the last minute....."don't cut it". She did and it looks adorable. I'm fearful that if he continues to not allow her to make these small decisions for herself, she will rebel against him.

Quoting psych_mom:

Personally it isn't a battle I would fight over. I would talk to her and just let her know that it's something that makes her dad happy and he worries that she is going to get cold.



To me, it sounds like he is taking the control a little too far with this but it could end up blowing up into a huge battle.
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M4LG5
by Valeri on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:29 AM
I have thought about that but I also don't want her to think that is something she will have to do if she wants something that he doesn't want her to do. kwim?

Quoting Rogue35:

I would tell her to keep it ziped while she is with her dad. When she get dropped off she can do what she wants. I think she knows if she is cold or not.
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steelcrazy
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:39 AM

You are thinking the same thing that I am Valeri.  Not to mention, when you don't let kids make small decisions now, how will they be able to handle those bigger decisions later in life.  I know you see this every day at the college.

Quoting M4LG5:

He has done this to her over and over. He made a BIG DEAL when she wanted to cut her hair to have bangs. I asked him to let her make the choice and he kept saying....even to the last minute....."don't cut it". She did and it looks adorable. I'm fearful that if he continues to not allow her to make these small decisions for herself, she will rebel against him.

Quoting psych_mom:

Personally it isn't a battle I would fight over. I would talk to her and just let her know that it's something that makes her dad happy and he worries that she is going to get cold.



To me, it sounds like he is taking the control a little too far with this but it could end up blowing up into a huge battle.


Zamaria
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 11:53 AM
Wow it sounds like you need to have a talk with your DH! That's crazy. I could see him making her zip up if she was 5 and it was snowing or raining or something. But it honestly sounds like he has some control issues.
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psych_mom
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:03 PM

She is definitely going to rebel and he needs to realize it soon. She's getting to the age where it starts. The stuff he is being controling over is petty stuff. When she really needs him she isn't going to go to him or listen because of this. She is going to end up doing the opposite of everything he says because of him wanting to control all the small things. Does his job have him micromanaging stuff? Were his parents that way with him? He has to stop now or it is going to bite him in the butt big time.

Quoting M4LG5:

He has done this to her over and over. He made a BIG DEAL when she wanted to cut her hair to have bangs. I asked him to let her make the choice and he kept saying....even to the last minute....."don't cut it". She did and it looks adorable. I'm fearful that if he continues to not allow her to make these small decisions for herself, she will rebel against him.

Quoting psych_mom:

Personally it isn't a battle I would fight over. I would talk to her and just let her know that it's something that makes her dad happy and he worries that she is going to get cold.



To me, it sounds like he is taking the control a little too far with this but it could end up blowing up into a huge battle.


wenchmommy381
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 1:33 PM


Quoting jclovinlife:

Let her in on a little secret, Daddy wants it zipped so he won't worry about her, ask her to do it for Daddy.

I don't see a problem with this. She can unzip it when she's not around him. 

Wenchmommy381, International Wenches Guild

"I know that something very strange Is happening to my brain.
I'm either feeling very good Or else I am insane.
The seeds of doubt you planted Have started to grow wild
And I feel that I must yield before The wisdom of a child.
And it's love you bring,
No, that I can't deny
With your wings,
I can learn to fly,
Sweet young thing."
--M Nesmith
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