So ladies, I am new to this site (only a member for a month) but do enjoy the quality of the posts by you all. So I need some advice.
My daughter, 12YO and in 7th grade, had a bout of anxiety a few weeks ago. Most of it was brought on by the ending of a friendship that had been in her life since kindergarten due to some unkind things/actions by a friend. My daughter went to what could best be described as the grief process but this resulted in her getting an upset stomach every morning with her throwing up prior to the start of school. This also resulted in upset stomach at school for a few days, brought about by stress. After meeting with the guidance counselors, things at school did return to normal except for one thing. She doesn't want to get on the bus. For the first week of this, I did take her to school and pick her up daily to get her through this. Then since she still had the nerves in the morning but not in the afternoon, I played hardball and told her she either had to take the bus or walk (5.5 miles). Luckily that first day of pm bus, it was raining quite hard and she got on and has been on the afternoon bus since.
Now I want to get her back on the bus in the am. She still has the nervous stomach. Last week, out of 4 days, she only threw up 2 days. I told her today to get on the bus and she refused, stating that she would not go to school unless I drove her. For the record, there is no issues with the bus-no bullying, etc. I have asked for reasons why I should continue to drive her with no response although I do think it is the fear that she will throw up on the bus. As far as the nervous stomach, I have continually reminded her about the "tools in her toolbox" for dealing with stress - deep breathing, positive thoughts, etc. She has to do the work to overcome this. Positive reinforcement to get her on the bus doesn't work and neither does punishments or taking things away. She has dug her heels in.
So sorry for the long post but does anyone have any advice?
on Oct. 15, 2012 at 11:04 AM