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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Would you let your tween go to this party?

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:48 AM
  • 26 Replies

My dd (10) camr home yesterday with a handwritten on an indexcard invitation to a sleepover party. The invite wasn't really clear on a lot of things including the address. It says "at my house". I did call and talk to the mom and the party really is going on. The family lives almost around the corner from us.

But here are the issues I'm having, while the family lives close to us I don't know them at all. I barely know the child. My daughter knows her from school but doesn't really spend time with her outside of school. Also when I asked my daughter if she knew who eles was invited she listed a boy. There were only 3 kids on the list (girl's mom wanted a small party because it's a sleepover). I don't know how I feel about sending my daughter to this party. She really wants to go. But I'm not comfterable with it, What would you do?

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
EslingerCrew11
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:52 AM
Follow your gut.

Amd if you don't send her, id invite the girl over for something like a sleep over or to a movie, skating, something, for an up coming night. Knowing that may happen, may make your dd feel better about not going.
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KRIZZ25
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I DONT EXPECT PERFECTION FROM ANY ONE..BUT I DO EXPECT RESPECT .
Today at 1:42 AM
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:43 AM
HUMM NO..SORRY TELL DD UR SORRY BUT U DON'T KNOW THAT GOOD WELL..MY DD KEEPS GETTING INVITED TO A FRIENDS HOME FOR SLEEP OVER..I SAY SORRY NO WE DON'T DO SLEEP OVERS..I DON'T TRUST ANY ONE..THIS DAY AND AGE ..U NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN..IF U WONT HAVE THE CHILD COME OVER TO PLAY FOR WILE..BUT NEVER LET UR CHILD GO TO HER HOUSE..
psych_mom
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 7:22 AM

I say go with your gut, but I would take some time at some point to get to know the mom and the daughter. I wouldn't not ever let my child do sleepovers though. There are always going to be scary things in this world so we need to learn how to let them do things away from us because some day they will need to know how to be away from us over night.

Zamaria
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:18 AM
No. Not if there was a boy coming. (or a girl I'm my case, since I have all boys! Lol!) Other than that, I would go meet the parents before the party, get a feel for them and their home, and then walk my kid into the house and visit a little while before leaving her there. I would also arrange two or three check in times during the evening when my kid should call me, and make sure they have a cell phone and instructions to call at ANY time if they feel uncomfortable or just want to come home.
In your case, since it's the first time and there will be a boy there, I would suggest that you tell the mom that you can't do the sleepover, but that your daughter can come to the party for a while and you can just pick her up before bedtime. That way she gets to go, you get a better feel for the family without leaving her there all night, and the next time you might be comfortable with it.
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TempestRayne
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:04 PM
If you aren't comfortable, don't let her stay the night. No reason she can't go for a couple of hours and just not stay the night though.
TwinSoccerMom
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Is the boy who will be at the party a brother or friend?  Does the girl have a brother who is inviting a friend as well?  I have boy/girl twins so there is always someone of the opposite gender here during sleepovers.  We have had a mix of boys and girls sleepover but they are seperate when it comes to sleeping.  Doors are open at all times (excpet when they are changing of course) and everone sleeps within feet of our bedroom so there is supervision. Now that they are teens we have more rules about no sleepovers of those who are "dating" each other or even have an interest in one another.  If DDs friend is intereted in DSs friend they can visit at the same time but no sleepovers. This is only possible becasue our kids are both very open with us and we discuss friends and things going on all the time. 

There are many kids that my kids primarily hang out with at school but are still good friends. They just might not be in the same activities after school or live too far away to hang out regularly.  

Perhaps until you get to know the family better you could let your DD go to the party for awhile but not overight. You could invite the friend over at another time and get to know her better then allow a sleepover once you are comfortable.

coolmommy2x
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 2:26 PM
I would find out more information and meet the parents so DD could go. Is the boy a brother? Is he a friend of the brother? Is he sleeping over? Honestly, I probably would say yes as long as I knew the parents (and I would get to know them so it's a problem again).
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embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:28 PM


Quoting TwinSoccerMom:

Is the boy who will be at the party a brother or friend?  Does the girl have a brother who is inviting a friend as well?  I have boy/girl twins so there is always someone of the opposite gender here during sleepovers.  We have had a mix of boys and girls sleepover but they are seperate when it comes to sleeping.  Doors are open at all times (excpet when they are changing of course) and everone sleeps within feet of our bedroom so there is supervision. Now that they are teens we have more rules about no sleepovers of those who are "dating" each other or even have an interest in one another.  If DDs friend is intereted in DSs friend they can visit at the same time but no sleepovers. This is only possible becasue our kids are both very open with us and we discuss friends and things going on all the time. 

There are many kids that my kids primarily hang out with at school but are still good friends. They just might not be in the same activities after school or live too far away to hang out regularly.  

Perhaps until you get to know the family better you could let your DD go to the party for awhile but not overight. You could invite the friend over at another time and get to know her better then allow a sleepover once you are comfortable.

The Boy is a friend of the girl who is having the party. Guess they have been friends for years. And all the kids will be sleeping in the basement.

embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:30 PM


Quoting coolmommy2x:

I would find out more information and meet the parents so DD could go. Is the boy a brother? Is he a friend of the brother? Is he sleeping over? Honestly, I probably would say yes as long as I knew the parents (and I would get to know them so it's a problem again).

At this point she's been told no, because we don't know the family. And While we're sure they are very nice we'd rather we get to know them a little better.

andersongirl562
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Yes I would. At 10 they are old enough to call you if something goes wrong or they aren't comfortable. Also at 10 I don't see the problem with boy/girl sleepovers. My momallowed them and myself and my sister allow them to a certain age.
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