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I think a little irrationalness is okay in a child's life.

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:39 PM
  • 5 Replies

Is irrationalness a word?? hahaha

So, before my oldest daughter's soccer game, all the moms were hanging out...as we normally do.  A couple of things that came up in our conversation were girls and their period and also swearing.

First, a couple of moms felt that "the talk" doesn't need to happen right now and are deciding to wait until later.  One mom figures her daughter will probably get her period later anyways (yeah....my 2nd older sister got her period within months of my oldest sister.....don't wait mom! haha).  I have offered both of them the American Girl book to borrow and they acted like it had cooties or something.  The funny thing is that their kids are the ones that talk about penises and kissing at slumber parties from what the dad said.  BTW...my daughter hasn't slept over their in almost a year.

Secondly, they looked at me like I was crazy when I told them that I do cuss in front of them.  In fact, "goddamn it" and "oh shit" shoot out of my mouth like a sneeze!  They know they are not allowed to say it and if they are caught, bad things will happen. 

I can't always say what my girls are doing or saying but knowing that I can talk about boobs and periods with my oldest daughter last night gave me a very comfortable feeling.  Sometimes our lives are chaotic and sometimes irrational but I feel that it provides them with what is realistic. 

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 5:39 PM
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Replies (1-5):
wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:12 PM

irrationality*

If real moms worried about all the things that mommy war-mongerers say we do, society would collapse in days. Kids can handle how we raise them-- any way we choose to raise them. 

M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:57 PM


Quoting wenchmommy381:

irrationality*

If real moms worried about all the things that mommy war-mongerers say we do, society would collapse in days. Kids can handle how we raise them-- any way we choose to raise them. 

Thanks for the correction.  It didn't sound quite right when I was thinking of it in my head.  haha

I know, for myself and my kids, that they are handling it fine with what we are giving them.  We are not perfect by any means but, overall, they are good kids and seem okay when I cuss outloud.  haha

kmrtigger
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:39 PM

I have friends that don't believe in talking to their teenagers about safe sex or providing comdoms INCASE they are needed. They preach waiting until marriage. Well their 16 yr old got pregnant and they thought their son got a girl pregnant, and the oldest is a dad to 2 kids by the age of 18. 

When I saw how they were parenting their kids years ago, I decided I wanted to be open and honest with mine. And to give them more knowledge in order to make better choices. I also believe in making sure my boys are prepared for all situations. Sex, drugs, etc.

So we are very open with our boys when we talk. I don;t want them being scared to come to me about anything at anytime.

Zamaria
by Silver Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:03 PM
We are really open about sex. And we do preach waiting till you're married, and I tell them that it's because a child is an even bigger commitment than a marriage, and if you aren't ready to committ to marriage with that person, why do you think you're ready to committ to raising a child together? My oldest seems to get that. But parents have to be realistic too. I've also told him that if he decides to have sex, he needs to let me know and I'll make sure he has condoms, and I've told him to never rely on birth control pills or anything like that. Some girls lie. Some antibiotics mess the pills up. Sometimes they fail. And they don't protect from stds that the girl may not even know she has. Better safer sex than risky sex, but best no sex at all till they're ready to deal with the possible effects.
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psych_mom
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:19 PM

This is how we are as well.

Quoting Zamaria:

We are really open about sex. And we do preach waiting till you're married, and I tell them that it's because a child is an even bigger commitment than a marriage, and if you aren't ready to committ to marriage with that person, why do you think you're ready to committ to raising a child together? My oldest seems to get that. But parents have to be realistic too. I've also told him that if he decides to have sex, he needs to let me know and I'll make sure he has condoms, and I've told him to never rely on birth control pills or anything like that. Some girls lie. Some antibiotics mess the pills up. Sometimes they fail. And they don't protect from stds that the girl may not even know she has. Better safer sex than risky sex, but best no sex at all till they're ready to deal with the possible effects.


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