Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Tween Titans Tween Titans

Here we go

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:06 AM
  • 15 Replies

My 12 year old daughter was caught lying yesterday so with a mother's/teacher's instinct I decided to check her history on her computer. Now it's a family computer but she has her own spot on it. I found several chat rooms that she has been on, some of them having grown men on them. Some games where one was called Naughty Teacher. She tried telling us last night that they were only pop ups on other stuff that she went on. Well, funny how I found the passwords to all these pop ups today. I am sure they just magically appeared as well.

We have parental controls but they apparently weren't strict enough. We had her watch "To Catch a Predator" on youtube last night. She now has a list of stuff that she can go on and can only go on through our parental controls (she also looked up parental controls too but they are through my husband's part of the computer and he has a password to get on his, mine now does as well). She now is also not allowed on the computer unless we are present in the room and she is not allowed to play any games for quite some time. She is not home right now. We will see how she explains away the passwords later.

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:06 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
wakymom
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:19 PM

 It's a little scary how computer-smart kids are these days.

We haven't had any issues so far. We have parental controls on the one the kids use in the family rm, and dh will go through the history randomly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

akgrear
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:42 PM

We made the parental controls much stricter now. Where she can go now is HIGHLY limited. One of the passwords I found today was made my her friend who supposedly is in 8th grade but the girl's facebook page that is open to everyone says she is in high school which is at least 9th grade. So, either the girl is lying about what school she goes to on her facebook page or my daughter is telling us lies about what grade she is in. This girl has photos of herself on her page, when her birthday is (not year just month and date) and where she lives and it is under her given name. Do parents just not care anymore?

wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:26 PM

PARENTING:

You're doing it right. 

I'm always in the room when my kids are on the computer. 

akgrear
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:04 PM

We've learned our lesson. My husband is always with my son who is 10 but we trusted her. I feel like that saying goes: "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile." Well, we aren't giving the inch now. She is also at the point where she thinks she should be able to go where she wants and come home when she wants and we don't need to know where she is or the address and phone numbers of where she will be. As she says, she "wants her freedom." Well, that is about 6 years from now.

wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:01 PM

I'm sorry.... I had to go back to the OP to see how old your daughter is. I didn't have freedom of movement until I was in college. Even then I did stupid shit.... but usually on campus and in relative safety. The younger the person, the increased likelihood of stupidity.

If I were you, I tell Sunshine that she is free to do well in school and be a helpful part of her family. Nothing else applies, BECAUSE SHE'S TWELVE!


Quoting akgrear:

We've learned our lesson. My husband is always with my son who is 10 but we trusted her. I feel like that saying goes: "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile." Well, we aren't giving the inch now. She is also at the point where she thinks she should be able to go where she wants and come home when she wants and we don't need to know where she is or the address and phone numbers of where she will be. As she says, she "wants her freedom." Well, that is about 6 years from now.


Wenchmommy381, International Wenches Guild

"I know that something very strange Is happening to my brain.
I'm either feeling very good Or else I am insane.
The seeds of doubt you planted Have started to grow wild
And I feel that I must yield before The wisdom of a child.
And it's love you bring,
No, that I can't deny
With your wings,
I can learn to fly,
Sweet young thing."
--M Nesmith
akgrear
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:06 PM

Yes, 12 going on 21. Her problem is that she has some friends whose parents are quite open to whatever their kids want to do and if their parents are that way why aren't we?

When she got home today she tried lying again about not being on the chat sites so I started reciting her user names and passwords. She is now grounded for the week. If she had told us from the beginning that she'd gone on and registered she would have just lost the access to the computer. Now she's lost a whole lot more including a facebook page at the age of 13.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Dec. 10, 2012 at 5:48 PM

I think you handle the situation rather well.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 10, 2012 at 6:35 PM

What's interesting is that they are smarter with technology but their ability to use technology and their natural maturity sense of decision making does....not....mix. 

Quoting wakymom:

 It's a little scary how computer-smart kids are these days.

We haven't had any issues so far. We have parental controls on the one the kids use in the family rm, and dh will go through the history randomly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


akgrear
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 6:46 PM

She is being Oh so nice now, lol. "Would you like a drink?" (before dinner). "Did I give you enough?" (at dinner). "Can I do anything?" Ummm, no you're grounded.

She did tell us that 3 people friend requested her on one of the sites and she accepted them having NO CLUE who they were. We were not happpy. She is trying to tell us that she didn't chat that she just played the games but she also wants us to just delete the registrations and not go on and look. We will be going on to look.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 10, 2012 at 6:56 PM

I don't know if one exists but I will not let my children on any social sites until they have gone through some sort of internet safety classes.  If there isn't one, I will do it myself.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)