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I just got a threatening letter from the school for absences because DD was sick

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 4:23 PM
  • 22 Replies

So last month DD2 had to miss 3 days of school for her Aunts funeral out of state. It wasn't a great aunt, it was my sister who died in a car crash and had no spouse or anything so we had to handle everything out in Colorado. Twos days of that where travel days (we are out east) even though we flew.

She missed one day in November, she started her first period and had massive cramping. I called the doctor and was told not to worry, heating pad and childrens advil. 

Well last week she was out 4 days with a stomach bug that caused a local high school to close for 3 days. So its not like it was something nobody else had. Again, doctors didn't want to see kids who were sick because they didn't want it spreading. 

Well today DD2 comes home with a letter stating that she has 8 unexcused absences. That none of the reason given were considered fit reasoning. All illnesses require a doctors note, ummm.... first off its a $45 co-pay to see the doctor and she wont write a note without seeing a child. She didn't want to see my daughter last week or when she had her period. Then with my sister, since when is a funerul not good enough, let alone a sudden one without anybody expecting it. We had a wake and funeral service in CO for my sister, then had a memorial here because she had to be cremated. So my daughter was just supposed to miss that, which would mean an adult would have to be here, so my husband miss it too? It stated if DD2 is absent once more during the school year then we will be reported to the Department of Social Services. WHAT?

When my eldest was this age, I never had this kind of a problem. She is adopted and often had to miss school for consuling or medical issues from abuse. The school never asked for proof of any of it, let alone sent threatening messages. What is happening to schools these days, we live in a normal middle class area where they have never acted like this before.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 4:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 12, 2012 at 4:40 PM

Before getting too upset, I would make an appointment to talk to someone at the office to discuss it. 

wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Speaking as a former teacher, I can tell you what usually worked in the schools where I taught. Remember that a school is a government agency, and has to play as much CYA as any other government agency in order to receive the funding it needs.

Give the school a copy of the death certificate from your sister. Morbid, I know, but provides an excuse. Schools often allow bereavement leave to students as well as staff (when my grandfather passed, I had to get a note from the funeral home director). 

Call the doctor's office. If it's her policy to not see patients for the reasons you state, she MUST provide some proof that she was aware of the ailments. 

Call your daughter's guidance counselor. They work very well as intermediaries between students and administration. It's their job to know your kid, and they are the most underutilized resource in many schools. 

psych_mom
by Stacy on Dec. 12, 2012 at 4:44 PM
I agree. Meet with whoever you need to in the office and take the info from your sister's death and memorial service. Deaths are supposed to be excused.

Quoting M4LG5:

Before getting too upset, I would make an appointment to talk to someone at the office to discuss it. 

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cocoroo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:51 PM

I would call the school and calmly speak with someone. 

Zamaria
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:12 PM
I agree with the other ladies. You should definately call the school and see what can be worked out. It may be that they just have things in their files mixed up or something. And if your doctor doesn't want to see kids when they're sick, I would try to find a new doctor if you can. Ours is always willing to see my kids when they're sick, and if we think it's contagious, they go in the back door to avoid the waiting area. That's what doctors are for. Our doctor will also fax an excuse to the school if I call and she says they should stay home, but they don't have to be seen or she can't get them in that day. I don't think it's right for a doctor to refuse to see a sick patient. That's their job!
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Rogue35
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:45 PM
I agree with all the above. Keep us updated.
psych_mom
by Stacy on Dec. 12, 2012 at 8:52 PM

Also, doesn't the doctor's office have a well child and sick child waiting area- aren't they there to see kids when they are sick?

dizzy21712
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:54 PM

Unfortuantely, schools are a government agency and every day that your child misses means less money for them. We had a school demand that I send my children to Saturday School because they had missed 3 days for being sick. I refused. I am not going to punish my child for being sick be sending them to school on Saturday. 

I do agree with another poster regarding asking the Dr's office to fax a note to the school if she can't or won't see the patient. If she is unwilling to do this then you really do need to consider getting a different Dr.

It is getting crazy the lengths the schools are going through to make sure that they get that all mighty dollar.

hollydaze1974
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 12:02 AM
Correct, the letter could be spewed from a computer. Check her absentee code from the website , too. My son got three days beareavement plus two extra because i was calling the attendance secretary and principal explaining why three days wouldn't cover it.
Two months later, mono hit hard, doctor for that and elevator use for two weeks. Then the stomach thing , parent note for that.
We've never had problems with attendance issues. Mom notes have always been acceptable.

Quoting M4LG5:

Before getting too upset, I would make an appointment to talk to someone at the office to discuss it. 

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pattya925
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 2:38 AM

Definitely touch base with the school.  My son was just out for two days bereavement leave - school secretary excused those days with a simple phone call.  He missed 2 days this week for a sinus infection.  One is excused with a dr note; he was to return today but still felt unwell, so used my own judgement and kept him home... Today will be unexcused.

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