Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Tween Titans Tween Titans

Inappropriate PIctures

Posted by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:08 PM
  • 11 Replies

How many of your have talked to your kids about NOT taking nude pics on their phones/cameras?  These days it seems like teens and young adults are all about taking naked pics and sending them via text and email. What is up with that?  I don't get it.    A friend got a call yesterday from her child's school.  He was caught showing naked pics of his ex-GF to a few friends.  The ex-GF had sent the pics too him.   Now, he has been suspended for 10 days (he will miss all of his mid-terms and may not graduate in May) and if the parents could press charges because he is 17/18 and the girl is under 16.   He is upset because it was the girl who sent the pictures to him.  He admits that he shouldn't have showed the pictures to his friends.  I am not sure if the police will get involved by the school stated he could be charged with having and distributing child porn and he may have register as a sex offender.

So, do you talk to your kids about these things and at what age? also, do you think the ex-GF should get in trouble too?

by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
psych_mom
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:13 PM

My kids don't have access to phones, email or things like that, but if they did or were getting these things before the phone ever got into their hands we would be having a talk about it and their would be ground rules set- no using the phone/text/email for these purposes and no deleting these things from the phone until I checked it. If they were caught doing these things they would lose the privileges that come with the responsibility and then some, and if my kids stupidly sent these things to someone else that could be charged I would do everything that I could to keep that from happening because it was my kid that sent it in the first place. I don't think that it is right to ruin a kid's life over something like this.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 13, 2012 at 1:18 PM

My girls are young (9, 6, and 6).  Right now we talk to tell them that they have to protect their body and their private parts of THEIR parts and should not be shown to other people unless WE as parents say its okay (i.e. doctor).  They do not have a phone and probably won't get one for awhile but when we do give them a phone, we will talk to them about proper usage.

I'm not friends on FB with anyone under 18 (not even my nephews) but what I can see of my friends that are friends on FB with young kids....it's all over the place.  It's like its the norm to take a "sexy" duckface picture of yourself and show everyone. 

I'm hoping that by putting them in sports and praising their efforts in school that they will have enough confidence that they feel they don't need to do these things to feel good. 

As for the ex-GF, yes, I do think she needs to get in trouble as well.

Roo1234
by Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 4:10 PM

From the day I handed a phone with a camera installed to my kids, I have talked to them about not ever taking pictures of themselves or others 1) without the other person's permission and 2) in any state of undress that they wouldn't walk down the street.  

I've also made sure they understand the seriousness of this type of behavior and how it betrays trust, and it lessens them as a person of character when they participate.

We have talked about the value of modesty and how you can be attractive without being revealing.


Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 13, 2012 at 4:39 PM

I have talked to my son about this. I started talking to him about internet and media behavior since he was 8 or 9. I wanted to make sure he didn't disclose anything innappropriate online (since I'm not sure how well media use is monitored at friends and at school). Those talks included how once you put something out there on the internet that someone else can copy and keep that information, even if you delete it.

Playitagain
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 6:28 PM

The girl could actually be charged with distribution of child pornography, AND SHOULD BE if he is charged with anything. She could also be charged with the taking or manufaturing of it. AND how old was your son when the photo was actually given to him? Are they sure she didn't send it to others?  I would tell her to start with a good lawyer and then making my own threats honestly in this day and age. 

She should be the one in the most trouble, she took the photos and kids nowadays her age are well taught not to take them. The boy showing them is a sad thing, but frankly the girl shouldn't of expected anything different. My husband has some very sexy/nude photos professionally taken of me, I trust him and honestly dont care if he shows them off if we ever got divorced. But I am now old enough to make a sound choice. My daughters school has a once a year assembly with the major police departments locally, where the girls mostly are told of all the legal trouble they can get into for sending photos.

My daughter is mentally ill, she has RAD. Its a illness caused by years of abuse and neglect at the hands of her biological mother. She doesn't understand cause/effect, social norms, things like that, its like theres a wall in her head. So she isn't allowed internet access without dh/ myself or another trusted adult, same thing with any phone with a camera. She took a very sexy photo of her stomach, jeans pulled down to the top of you know where, and a low cut shirt at a friends house. When I found it online on a yearbook website she was in tons of trouble. Even lost her kindle in the matter. On the same end, she also had sex with a 20/1 year old boy who had graduated from her high school. I went to the police because things seemed even weirder then you can imagine. Low and behold he was caught at the high school trying to pick up freshman and get them to skip school and come over. My daughter was 16, but the intent was the same. He's now in jail serving a 18 months sentence and facing other charges. So, I can see it from both sides.


hollydaze1974
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 6:48 PM
Yes, my son has strict instructions to delete ANY inappropriate pictures immediately and why it is so insanely important. He knows not to show it to officials as "evidence" just get rid of it, ASAP . Play dumb, stay out of it.
He's got a good shot already at a full ride to college based on academics, he cannot afford any sort of scandal, trash, or any behavioral issue that would show up on transcripts , Facebook , whatever.

His education is all he wants out of school, I've actually never seen a kid so focused.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 7:07 PM

The second my kids get a phone, they will know what is acceptable use. I let my kids play games on my phone now, so they are getting used to the idea of what is okay to do with a phone.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Dec. 14, 2012 at 12:51 AM


Quoting Barabell:

I have talked to my son about this. I started talking to him about internet and media behavior since he was 8 or 9. I wanted to make sure he didn't disclose anything innappropriate online (since I'm not sure how well media use is monitored at friends and at school). Those talks included how once you put something out there on the internet that someone else can copy and keep that information, even if you delete it.

We began this talk when the boys began going on the computer. So that was about 5 or 6 yrs old. And we told ours along the same things as what you did to your son. 

Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 14, 2012 at 9:20 AM


Quoting kmrtigger:


Quoting Barabell:

I have talked to my son about this. I started talking to him about internet and media behavior since he was 8 or 9. I wanted to make sure he didn't disclose anything inappropriate online (since I'm not sure how well media use is monitored at friends and at school). Those talks included how once you put something out there on the internet that someone else can copy and keep that information, even if you delete it.

We began this talk when the boys began going on the computer. So that was about 5 or 6 yrs old. And we told ours along the same things as what you did to your son. 

Yeah, we waited a little longer than most parents, and so I think 8 or 9 is still right. At that time, our only computer was one I used for my part-time job and I was worried about him breaking it. I was pretty possessive of it, even with my husband...LOL At least our son had exposure to computers in school still, but I don't think the school let them on the internet until like 3rd or 4th grade.

If our computer was just for leisure, we would have started with talks sooner at 5 or 6, and I would have started the talks then too.

harehelper
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 1:06 PM

My kids don't have phones yet either. When they do, things like text I will most likely have disabled for this exact reason.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)