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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Share Your Solutions: The Talk

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 12:52 PM
  • 5 Replies

Yikes. The dreaded sex talk. How did you, or will you, talk to your tween about sex? Do you have any tips or tricks for making it more comfortable for everyone?

Please share your best ideas here!

To see some of the most helpful answers from CafeMom members on this topic, visit this Advice page: How should I talk to my tween about sex? 



by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 12:52 PM
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Replies (1-5):
pattya925
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Lol, my science lover and precocious reader has known the basics since he was 4 and read a book that mentioned mating.  He has never been a kid that accepts simple answers and always comes back with multiple questions.  Now at 10, he knows the basic logisitics, that it is one way for an adult to show love to someone you respect and care for, that there are associated diseases (haven't gotten into many specifics yet).  I just addressed each question honestly and dropped the convo when he stopped asking questions.  Eventually, I will have to get into the specifics, but for now, I have a reprieve!

hollydaze1974
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 1:36 PM
My son and I do "mini talks" ... In the car on the long way to where ever I told him we were headed.
I don't think Tweens are capable of listening to the entire speech from body changes all the way to sex, pregnancy, and stds.
So we do sections, just like chapters in school. Body changes in thier own gender and the opposite gender and why we don't tease each other for those changes.

Next we moved on to attraction, which to my son, at thirteen still isn't a big deal, but we discuss it any way

Then group dates and what that means, singular dating and when that will be approved.

And little by little we get to the harder stuff. They catch snippets better than the whole book in my mind.

My son and I are up to protection, even if the girl says she's on bc , he isn't to take chances on getting an std or her missing a pill or outright telling him a lie.

Next will be being emotionally ready for that kind of intimacy no matter what your body says to do.
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Cafe Kristin
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 3:26 PM

Such great advice -- thank you!

Quoting hollydaze1974:

My son and I do "mini talks" ... In the car on the long way to where ever I told him we were headed.
I don't think Tweens are capable of listening to the entire speech from body changes all the way to sex, pregnancy, and stds.
So we do sections, just like chapters in school. Body changes in thier own gender and the opposite gender and why we don't tease each other for those changes.

Next we moved on to attraction, which to my son, at thirteen still isn't a big deal, but we discuss it any way

Then group dates and what that means, singular dating and when that will be approved.

And little by little we get to the harder stuff. They catch snippets better than the whole book in my mind.

My son and I are up to protection, even if the girl says she's on bc , he isn't to take chances on getting an std or her missing a pill or outright telling him a lie.

Next will be being emotionally ready for that kind of intimacy no matter what your body says to do.


hollydaze1974
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 4:35 PM
Thank you, this works well for us because the ds3 ( game device, for clarification) stays home, radio is off, and they don't have to look at you, but it's a captive audience, so they have to listen.

Quoting Cafe Kristin:

Such great advice -- thank you!

Quoting hollydaze1974:

My son and I do "mini talks" ... In the car on the long way to where ever I told him we were headed.


I don't think Tweens are capable of listening to the entire speech from body changes all the way to sex, pregnancy, and stds.


So we do sections, just like chapters in school. Body changes in thier own gender and the opposite gender and why we don't tease each other for those changes.





Next we moved on to attraction, which to my son, at thirteen still isn't a big deal, but we discuss it any way





Then group dates and what that means, singular dating and when that will be approved.





And little by little we get to the harder stuff. They catch snippets better than the whole book in my mind.





My son and I are up to protection, even if the girl says she's on bc , he isn't to take chances on getting an std or her missing a pill or outright telling him a lie.





Next will be being emotionally ready for that kind of intimacy no matter what your body says to do.


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M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 17, 2012 at 4:43 PM

Yes, we do mini-talks also.  With my oldest (9 years old), we have done the American Girl book and took it chapter by chapter.  We both took turns reading it and then we would talk about it.  Some days she had more to say than others and that's okay.  We have talked about it in the car but not too much....but each time a little more in detail than the time before.  With our twins (6), we talk openly about our bodies and also how they came out of my belly.  They know the sperm went inside me and into an egg but they don't know how the sperm got there.....and they havne't asked yet.

Quoting hollydaze1974:

My son and I do "mini talks" ... In the car on the long way to where ever I told him we were headed.
I don't think Tweens are capable of listening to the entire speech from body changes all the way to sex, pregnancy, and stds.
So we do sections, just like chapters in school. Body changes in thier own gender and the opposite gender and why we don't tease each other for those changes.

Next we moved on to attraction, which to my son, at thirteen still isn't a big deal, but we discuss it any way

Then group dates and what that means, singular dating and when that will be approved.

And little by little we get to the harder stuff. They catch snippets better than the whole book in my mind.

My son and I are up to protection, even if the girl says she's on bc , he isn't to take chances on getting an std or her missing a pill or outright telling him a lie.

Next will be being emotionally ready for that kind of intimacy no matter what your body says to do.


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