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Trying to decide if we should get him tested for aspergers or

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 12:54 PM
  • 25 Replies

if he is just different. My 10 year old is not like many kids I know. He is genius level intelligence, loves turtles and science and playing Beyblades. The sad part is, he doesn't really show good emotions. The things he gets excited about are not normal things and the when he should get upset, he doesn't and when he shouldn't get upset, he gets overly upset. On Christmas morning when we were opening gifts and we got him what he wanted, he didn't say a word as he opened each gift, just unwrapped, set it aside, and moved on then took everything to his room. From what I have learned from aspergers in my psychology classes, he does exhibit a lot of traits that a high functioning aspergers kid could have. I am really afraid to get him tested because I don't want him labeled, but if I do get him tested there are tons of resources that would be opened up to him. I am just so conflicted here. Any advice would be appreciated.

by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 12:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:05 PM

Honestly, I think you are smart and knowledgeable in this area. If you feel something is up, then you should get him tested. As a mother, I can understand your fear about him being labeled, but I think the opportunities that will become available to him should outweigh that negativity associated with a label.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:10 PM
I think we are all afraid of labels but I think the resources far outweigh the labels any day. I think it will help you, as his family, learn how to deal with his emotions and lack of emotions. I had a student that has aspergers and he would get stuck on one topic of conversation that got him upset. I had an extremely difficult time getting him to understand why things were a certain way but he would not get over it. Shortly after, I spoke to a disability specialist at she helped me to understand why he wouldn't let it go and how to talk to him.
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wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 2:43 PM

I thought Asperger's presented much earlier than 10. But you're the one taking classes. 

If he really has Asperger's, he needs those resources-- you know that. If he gets tested and it shows that he doesn't have it, at least there's peace of mind in knowing that. Or maybe it's something else. I was a teacher for 10 years, and saw plenty of students who had never been tested but needed extra help. It's nervewracking for everyone involved. Good luck to you.

psych_mom
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 2:48 PM

He's been having these issues for a longer period of time. They haven't caused problems at school- he is in gifted, but does have issues with doing every day work because he isn't challenged by it. His third grade teacher talked to me about his over emotional reactions last year and she said that she could see the possibility there as well. She said that she has had students that have had it that act very similar to the way my son acts.

Quoting wenchmommy381:

I thought Asperger's presented much earlier than 10. But you're the one taking classes. 

If he really has Asperger's, he needs those resources-- you know that. If he gets tested and it shows that he doesn't have it, at least there's peace of mind in knowing that. Or maybe it's something else. I was a teacher for 10 years, and saw plenty of students who had never been tested but needed extra help. It's nervewracking for everyone involved. Good luck to you.


psych_mom
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 2:50 PM

It is a feeling that I have had for a long time, but it is a war anytime I have to deal with anything that has to do with my kids from a certain family member on the ex's side. I think this is something that I am going to have to really explore though and no more listening to her putting me down anytime I mention it. I am just going to have to do it.

Quoting Barabell:

Honestly, I think you are smart and knowledgeable in this area. If you feel something is up, then you should get him tested. As a mother, I can understand your fear about him being labeled, but I think the opportunities that will become available to him should outweigh that negativity associated with a label.


psych_mom
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 2:52 PM

I think the resources would be very valuable as well, especially since this isn't an area that I am concentrating on with psychology. Even if it comes back that he is just eccentric and needs help dealing with his emotions then it could be beneficial to us all as well.

Quoting M4LG5:

I think we are all afraid of labels but I think the resources far outweigh the labels any day. I think it will help you, as his family, learn how to deal with his emotions and lack of emotions. I had a student that has aspergers and he would get stuck on one topic of conversation that got him upset. I had an extremely difficult time getting him to understand why things were a certain way but he would not get over it. Shortly after, I spoke to a disability specialist at she helped me to understand why he wouldn't let it go and how to talk to him.


Barabell
by Barbara on Dec. 27, 2012 at 3:42 PM

Well, at least we're here to support you and listen to you. I'm sorry you have to deal with a family member like that. My family doesn't really make comments like that, and I appreciate it!!!

Quoting psych_mom:

It is a feeling that I have had for a long time, but it is a war anytime I have to deal with anything that has to do with my kids from a certain family member on the ex's side. I think this is something that I am going to have to really explore though and no more listening to her putting me down anytime I mention it. I am just going to have to do it.

Quoting Barabell:

Honestly, I think you are smart and knowledgeable in this area. If you feel something is up, then you should get him tested. As a mother, I can understand your fear about him being labeled, but I think the opportunities that will become available to him should outweigh that negativity associated with a label.



psych_mom
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 3:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you. I have decided that since it is the ex's family that I am taking a step back anyways. There were some things said to me the other night that were not true and other things that were hurtful (such as my 10 year old acts the way he is because I spoil him and I've never disciplined him, definitely not true) and so I feel that it is time that I can sever this relationship. It is his family, if he wants them to be a part of the kids' lives he can make sure that happens.

Quoting Barabell:

Well, at least we're here to support you and listen to you. I'm sorry you have to deal with a family member like that. My family doesn't really make comments like that, and I appreciate it!!!

Quoting psych_mom:

It is a feeling that I have had for a long time, but it is a war anytime I have to deal with anything that has to do with my kids from a certain family member on the ex's side. I think this is something that I am going to have to really explore though and no more listening to her putting me down anytime I mention it. I am just going to have to do it.

Quoting Barabell:

Honestly, I think you are smart and knowledgeable in this area. If you feel something is up, then you should get him tested. As a mother, I can understand your fear about him being labeled, but I think the opportunities that will become available to him should outweigh that negativity associated with a label.




kmrtigger
by Kandice on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:28 PM

You just described my oldest son. We are actually waiting on a call from our doctor with an appointment at Easter Seals to have him tested.

I say get him tested. It will help to know what is exactly wrong, so you can take the proper steps to help him be successful later down the road.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Very true.

Quoting M4LG5:

I think we are all afraid of labels but I think the resources far outweigh the labels any day. I think it will help you, as his family, learn how to deal with his emotions and lack of emotions. I had a student that has aspergers and he would get stuck on one topic of conversation that got him upset. I had an extremely difficult time getting him to understand why things were a certain way but he would not get over it. Shortly after, I spoke to a disability specialist at she helped me to understand why he wouldn't let it go and how to talk to him.


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