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Tween Titans Tween Titans

12 yr old boy

Posted by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:36 AM
  • 26 Replies

My 12 yr old is so LAZY!! he will not even get up to get his own drinks.. He does't look for stuff when needed, and is always fighting with his 8 yr old brother. 

Last night I told him to go shut off the lights he left on and he wouldn't so I screamed at him to "GROW UP!" and he screamed back "YOU!" to me. 

At his age I was running around the streets with friends, cleaning my parents house ((by choice)) and pretty much taking care of myself. 

How do I make this little immature boy grow up??

My 8 yr old is more mature then him. 

Advice??

by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
capfelbeck
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:37 AM
I don't have any my 12 yo is the same way
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ajrjj05
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:39 AM

Is she a she, or he?

Maybe it is a boy thing?

My 8 yr old does sports, maybe that is why he is growing up more?

My 12 yr does Karate though.

Quoting capfelbeck:

I don't have any my 12 yo is the same way


capfelbeck
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 10:42 AM
He's a boy. He does all the sports too. He just doesn't want to do anything unless HE wants too

Quoting ajrjj05:

Is she a she, or he?

Maybe it is a boy thing?

My 8 yr old does sports, maybe that is why he is growing up more?

My 12 yr does Karate though.


Quoting capfelbeck:

I don't have any my 12 yo is the same way


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
psych_mom
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:01 AM
2 moms liked this

Um, well, I would put a stop to this behavior by taking all the fun stuff away. My 10 year old thought that he wasn't going to get his room cleaned last weekend and I took everything fun away, including Christmas and food until it was done. He had breakfast on Sunday morning, but we didn't have anything for lunch and when I said we weren't going any where until his room was cleaned, I meant it, so no one got lunch until be finally got done at 4:00 PM and we were able to go to the grocery store. You have to have repercusions for the bad bahavior and stick to it. If he yells at you, don't let him get away with it. My kids know that is something they better never, ever do. They don't like going days without video games or computer time, but I don't hesitate to take it away. My husband and their biological dad stands behind me on this as well, so make sure whatever punishment you come up with, dad supports.

ajrjj05
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 11:56 AM

Thanks, although I agree. I never use food as a punshiment. 

Quoting psych_mom:

Um, well, I would put a stop to this behavior by taking all the fun stuff away. My 10 year old thought that he wasn't going to get his room cleaned last weekend and I took everything fun away, including Christmas and food until it was done. He had breakfast on Sunday morning, but we didn't have anything for lunch and when I said we weren't going any where until his room was cleaned, I meant it, so no one got lunch until be finally got done at 4:00 PM and we were able to go to the grocery store. You have to have repercusions for the bad bahavior and stick to it. If he yells at you, don't let him get away with it. My kids know that is something they better never, ever do. They don't like going days without video games or computer time, but I don't hesitate to take it away. My husband and their biological dad stands behind me on this as well, so make sure whatever punishment you come up with, dad supports.


psych_mom
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:01 PM

Well, I was desperate at the time, lol. We could have left hours before, he only had to clean out from under his bed and night stand but he wouldn't do it. I really thought that he would just get it done, but no. He was testing my boundaries and seeing if I would give in, and I had to stand firm and let him see that he wasn't going to get away with this. He had made a horrible mess in his room- dumped out everything that he and his brother owned and the landlord came over and saw it and said that if it wasn't cleaned up he would find us in violation of our lease and would evict us. The rest of the house was clean and we are going to be buying this house soon so, this really did call for desperate measures. I had been trying everything for a couple of weeks and nothing else was working so finally it was all or nothing.

Quoting ajrjj05:

Thanks, although I agree. I never use food as a punshiment. 

Quoting psych_mom:

Um, well, I would put a stop to this behavior by taking all the fun stuff away. My 10 year old thought that he wasn't going to get his room cleaned last weekend and I took everything fun away, including Christmas and food until it was done. He had breakfast on Sunday morning, but we didn't have anything for lunch and when I said we weren't going any where until his room was cleaned, I meant it, so no one got lunch until be finally got done at 4:00 PM and we were able to go to the grocery store. You have to have repercusions for the bad bahavior and stick to it. If he yells at you, don't let him get away with it. My kids know that is something they better never, ever do. They don't like going days without video games or computer time, but I don't hesitate to take it away. My husband and their biological dad stands behind me on this as well, so make sure whatever punishment you come up with, dad supports.



wenchmommy381
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 12:02 PM

Most important thing is to not let him get away with it. If he wants something, and it is possible to get it himself, then that is what must happen (my boys know this). And he absolutely should not get away with yelling at you. (And what does "you!" even mean?? You are the grown-up... I wonder if he talks like that to his friends or his brother-- that's when you get to teach him that you are spoken to differently because you are his mother.) 

Good luck to you.

ajrjj05
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 2:01 PM

Your landlord sounds like a douche. What is it his business if your son's room is trashed. It is not like you had holes in the walls. I am sorry about that. So glad I own a house and I don't have anyone to tell me how to keep it. fingers crossedHere some house hunting dust for you :)

Quoting psych_mom:

Well, I was desperate at the time, lol. We could have left hours before, he only had to clean out from under his bed and night stand but he wouldn't do it. I really thought that he would just get it done, but no. He was testing my boundaries and seeing if I would give in, and I had to stand firm and let him see that he wasn't going to get away with this. He had made a horrible mess in his room- dumped out everything that he and his brother owned and the landlord came over and saw it and said that if it wasn't cleaned up he would find us in violation of our lease and would evict us. The rest of the house was clean and we are going to be buying this house soon so, this really did call for desperate measures. I had been trying everything for a couple of weeks and nothing else was working so finally it was all or nothing.

Quoting ajrjj05:

Thanks, although I agree. I never use food as a punshiment. 

Quoting psych_mom:

Um, well, I would put a stop to this behavior by taking all the fun stuff away. My 10 year old thought that he wasn't going to get his room cleaned last weekend and I took everything fun away, including Christmas and food until it was done. He had breakfast on Sunday morning, but we didn't have anything for lunch and when I said we weren't going any where until his room was cleaned, I meant it, so no one got lunch until be finally got done at 4:00 PM and we were able to go to the grocery store. You have to have repercusions for the bad bahavior and stick to it. If he yells at you, don't let him get away with it. My kids know that is something they better never, ever do. They don't like going days without video games or computer time, but I don't hesitate to take it away. My husband and their biological dad stands behind me on this as well, so make sure whatever punishment you come up with, dad supports.




ajrjj05
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Yup, he does. As far as friends I am not sure how many he has. No one ever calls here and he never hangs out with them. But when we go out places he always runs into people that talk to him. I think he is the social but not hang out type. 

Quoting wenchmommy381:

Most important thing is to not let him get away with it. If he wants something, and it is possible to get it himself, then that is what must happen (my boys know this). And he absolutely should not get away with yelling at you. (And what does "you!" even mean?? You are the grown-up... I wonder if he talks like that to his friends or his brother-- that's when you get to teach him that you are spoken to differently because you are his mother.) 

Good luck to you.


Xstitchinmom
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 6:01 PM
My 14 year old ds is the same way, but he is getting better. He now makes his bed without a fuss lol
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