Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Tween Titans Tween Titans

Reconnecting with son

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 12:19 AM
  • 9 Replies

I have not seen my son since he was 2, I am soon going to be able to speak with him. His father and I had a dirty divorse and he remaried and moved to the midwest. I need advice as to how and what to talk to him about?What atr 10 year olds like? What do they like to talk about or do?

by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 12:19 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 1:01 AM
Gee, is he a sports kid or more introverted? That make a big difference in connecting... My son is into Legos , Pokemon, acedrmics, and reading.
If your son is into that, then that's where you start.
If he plays or is a fan of a sport, you start there. Either way, a book about sports stats or Pokemon / Legos would make a great " I've missed you terribly " gift. It sounds like you will have to communicate with dad about his interests. Boys this age start breaking away from the fads if thier peers and start focusing on thier own specific interests, so a blanket toy or game will just not do anymore, I'm afraid.
Good luck , I know this will be awkward. Praying for a good experience!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Zamaria
by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 1:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Aw! *hugs* mama! I can't imagine how excited and nervous and scared you must be!
My advice would be to be very open and honest with him about your side of things first. Don't bring up his dad or anything, just how much you missed him and wish you could have spent more time with him. Don't try to dumb it down or anything. He will be able to tell.
Kids that age like video games, sports, food and movies. I would take him out for pizza or whatever he likes in a public place and be sure not to get too emotional. That'll give him time to adjust a little without the awkward alone time right off the bat. Maybe take him to an arcade or go karts or something so you can chat without him feeling pressure. I wouldn't push for deep conversation right away. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. What do you like to do? Do you like school? What do you like about your school? Favorite subject? Any hobbies? What are your friends like? Stuff like that. Don't make it like an interview. Share stuff about yourself after he answers a question. Just remember to be relaxed as possible and let him set the pace. Don't expect too much the first time around. He's probably going to have a lot of mixed emotions and confusion. Best at this point if you can try to just be a friend for the time being. Good luck!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
psych_mom
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:27 AM

I agree with this completely.

Quoting Zamaria:

Aw! *hugs* mama! I can't imagine how excited and nervous and scared you must be!
My advice would be to be very open and honest with him about your side of things first. Don't bring up his dad or anything, just how much you missed him and wish you could have spent more time with him. Don't try to dumb it down or anything. He will be able to tell.
Kids that age like video games, sports, food and movies. I would take him out for pizza or whatever he likes in a public place and be sure not to get too emotional. That'll give him time to adjust a little without the awkward alone time right off the bat. Maybe take him to an arcade or go karts or something so you can chat without him feeling pressure. I wouldn't push for deep conversation right away. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. What do you like to do? Do you like school? What do you like about your school? Favorite subject? Any hobbies? What are your friends like? Stuff like that. Don't make it like an interview. Share stuff about yourself after he answers a question. Just remember to be relaxed as possible and let him set the pace. Don't expect too much the first time around. He's probably going to have a lot of mixed emotions and confusion. Best at this point if you can try to just be a friend for the time being. Good luck!


psych_mom
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 9:27 AM

Good luck! I know this is scary and emotional but try to make if fun and about him.

wenchmommy381
by on Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:37 AM

I'm reluctant to say what 10-year-olds are into, because that may not prepare you for *your* ten year old. 

Please ask him about his interests and then listen to him. Best of luck to you.

Roo1234
by Member on Jan. 12, 2013 at 6:44 PM
My sons love video games, comic books (superheroes), Doctor Who,sci-fi, sports, school.

Your best breat is to ask open ended questions and listen as much as possible
TempestRayne
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:11 AM
Quoting Zamaria:

Aw! *hugs* mama! I can't imagine how excited and nervous and scared you must be!
My advice would be to be very open and honest with him about your side of things first. Don't bring up his dad or anything, just how much you missed him and wish you could have spent more time with him. Don't try to dumb it down or anything. He will be able to tell.
Kids that age like video games, sports, food and movies. I would take him out for pizza or whatever he likes in a public place and be sure not to get too emotional. That'll give him time to adjust a little without the awkward alone time right off the bat. Maybe take him to an arcade or go karts or something so you can chat without him feeling pressure. I wouldn't push for deep conversation right away. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. What do you like to do? Do you like school? What do you like about your school? Favorite subject? Any hobbies? What are your friends like? Stuff like that. Don't make it like an interview. Share stuff about yourself after he answers a question. Just remember to be relaxed as possible and let him set the pace. Don't expect too much the first time around. He's probably going to have a lot of mixed emotions and confusion. Best at this point if you can try to just be a friend for the time being. Good luck!

isabellah
by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:17 PM

show up pay attention and tell the truth,

kmrtigger
by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 3:24 PM

Just ask him and listen. Answer any questions he may have honestly.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN