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Tween Titans Tween Titans

If you had a cell phone when you were young would you text your mom?

Posted by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:37 AM
  • 12 Replies
The past couple times DD has stayed the night at a friends house she has texted me right before bedtime, wanting me to come get her. Now I remember as a kid that for some reason that time of night things can get hairy with a friend but I don't think I would have ever texted my mom to come home. The first time it was because her and a friend were not agreeing on something. I made her stay and work it out. This last time it was because the "host" had picked one friend to share the bed with her and told my DD to sleep in the bean bag chair! I wanted so bad to go pick her up because I knew DD could NOT sleep in a bean bag chair and I was then upset about it, but I want her to learn to work things out. Would you have gone to get her? There were a couple of times that friends stayed at our house and I would see the friend texting someone right before bed too, and one time it was followed with the friend saying she didn't feel well and her mom was on her way. I know friends can hit a rough patch when together too long and I think the texting is an easy way out of the situation instead of learning to work thru it. I finally told DD to get off the phone and tell the friends that she felt like the odd man out and then she never texted back so I'm assuming they figured it out. Would you have gone to pick her up?
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by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 9:56 AM
I called my mom on the house phone at that age. If I was upset, she'd just. calm me down, I never asked to come home.

My son texts my when he's away to say our nightly prayer.... Just a routine we have. It's a comfort thing .
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SuperLooneyMom
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 8:25 PM
Noooo
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Delta.Dawn
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 10:14 PM

 I was the odd man out once and if I told my "friends" this I would get picked on more and crazy stuff done to me in my sleep. Once was them shaving my eyebrows off, cutting and shaving my bangs, tons of nasty gum wadded in my hair , permanent marker drawings of crude things and we all know perm marker doesn't come off but wears off and the kicker is it was on my face and forehead ( I had just gotten on sleeping meds for my insomnia then). This is a form of bullying to me I just kicked my so called "friends" to the curb. Once a child puts a friend in a position where they are the odd man out it opens doors to other things. You should be looking for ways to confront the parents instead of leaving it up to your daughter to fend off kids who will never give up. Sure the kids will act as if nothing is wrong when a parent or adult is around. But that doesn't mean anything. DS thankfully has true friends right now so he hasn't had to go through anything like this. I have told him if someone ever does this to him or any other forms of bullying they are not his friend(s).

mothernature
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:35 AM

i wld pick my kid up at anytime of night or day if they were in a position of feeling uncomfortable and want to come home ,everytime and with no questions asked 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:19 AM

I don't think I would have called.  My mother was not a great alternative to mean friends, however. 

I think today, a child who is uncomfortable is MUCH more likely to ask for relief, via a text, because they don't have to ask permission to use the house phone.  They can privately ask for help. Is that a bad thing?

How was your daughter the next day?  Do you ask her how she was feeling about the sleep over and about those friends? 

I understand your desire to help your daughter learn to 'work things out'. Being able to stand up for herself is important.  However, tween girls can be MEAN just  to be mean.  Haven't you heard of what girls, friends, who are all in the same room will do?  They have their texting devices and several of them are texting mean gossip about another girl who is in the room with them!  I know several girls this has happened to.

Read a book called "Odd Girl Out".  Your daughter is being bullied and truly needs your support.  For girls, bullying is most commonly done in a form that is called "relational bullying".  They bully in relationship to each other, which is what matters most to them.  And it is much harder to detect since it can be more subtle.  The girl being bullied knows and feels it, however.

For your daughter, there are some great tween books by "American Girls".  There are a few that would be appropriate. Search American Girls Bullying on Amazon and you should see some. The series has some specifically on bullying and standing up for yourself.  They even go so far as to suggest strategies to use and words/responses.  Since they are written in "girl world" form, they can be easily accepted by a tween.

brandi185
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:03 AM

the only time i ever called my mom to pick me up was when my friend got suddenly sick and i didn't want whatever she was getting.  

i never really had to go through the bedtime routine on sleepovers though.  we would stay up so late and just crash where ever to sleep.  

coolmommy2x
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:06 AM
I never had an issue with sleepovers so no, I would not have had any need to call or text. DD is 8 and has never asked to be picked up from a sleepover. Maybe DD isn't ready for them.
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brandi185
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:09 AM


Quoting Delta.Dawn:

 I was the odd man out once and if I told my "friends" this I would get picked on more and crazy stuff done to me in my sleep. Once was them shaving my eyebrows off, cutting and shaving my bangs, tons of nasty gum wadded in my hair , permanent marker drawings of crude things and we all know perm marker doesn't come off but wears off and the kicker is it was on my face and forehead ( I had just gotten on sleeping meds for my insomnia then). This is a form of bullying to me I just kicked my so called "friends" to the curb. Once a child puts a friend in a position where they are the odd man out it opens doors to other things. You should be looking for ways to confront the parents instead of leaving it up to your daughter to fend off kids who will never give up. Sure the kids will act as if nothing is wrong when a parent or adult is around. But that doesn't mean anything. DS thankfully has true friends right now so he hasn't had to go through anything like this. I have told him if someone ever does this to him or any other forms of bullying they are not his friend(s).

wow, my friends and i never did anything permanent.  usually whoever fell asleep first got toothpasted.  then the next morning everyone including the one that got toothpasted would laugh about it.  one of my friends had a couple of cousins that were prissy and controlling.  when they were in town and we had a sleepover they would control the whole thing.  they were so snobby they had no idea they were the odd girl out but we never did anything mean to them.

I use multi-million dollar satellites to find tupperwear in the woods.
What's your hobby?
justahousewife
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:11 AM
My group of girlfriends always revolved on who was in and who was out. It never lasted, even pranks. My dds group of girlfriends seems to be the same way. I think I'd tell her to make the most of it.
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M4LG5
by Valeri on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:12 AM

No.  We had a really group of friends.  We WANTED to spend the night every weekend.  After softball games, we would conspire to see who was spending the night at who's house. 

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