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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Why doesn't she turn in some of her work?

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:09 PM
  • 14 Replies

I have an 11 year-old 6th grader who at the beginning of the year was getting straight A's. Now I'm finding that she does not turn in some of her homework in a couple of classes which has earned her an F on some assignments. When she does turn in her work, she gets A's on them so it's not that she doesn't understand it. We've grounded her from FB, taken away her phone and iPod so she's on restriction until she gets her grades up. I am now checking her work nightly against the calendar that the school posts for assignments to ensure she's completing them. Anyone else have a child that does that? I can't imagine it's because she doesn't feel challenged because two of her classes are advanced science and math. An old friend of mine's son used to do the same thing and he was diagnosed with ADHD or ADD, I don't remember which one. I'm not going to assume that is what my daughter has. I just don't know what to do to motivate her. We tried offering an incentive for good report cards. If someone else has had this problem, I'd love to hear any advice you may have!

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wakymom
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 8:49 AM

 Ds1 does that- he has ADHD. He was really bad about it before we went the meds route- he'd get too busy socializing and forget. When he was in 5th gr, I actually took him to school, w/ ds2 and dd in tow still in their pj's, and stood over him as he turned everything in. Embarrassed him enough that he improved for a couple months each time. In 6th gr, his teachers were good about giving him an extra reminder at the start of each class (and that was w/o an IEP- he had great teachers). He's gotten better since then (partly b/c he's matured a little bit), but still forgets to turn things in, esp. if it's a super chaotic day in a particular class.

You could try talking w/ her teacher and see if she'd be willing to give your dd an extra reminder for a bit to get her back in the habit of turning things in.

 

 

 

 

mamavalor
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:28 AM
If it's just happening every now and then, then I wouldn't worry about, especially if her teacher hasn't brought it up. This is normal for kids this age because their world is widening and priorities are changing. You just need to remind her what her responsibilities are and what is expected of her. DD1 went through this stage, and now she's back to her old self again.
Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:20 PM

My son does that every once in awhile too. I think it's kind of normal for this age. They're testing their boundaries and what happens when they slack. I check my son's online classwork often right now because he was slacking a couple weeks ago (which--like in the case of your daughter--resulted in being grounded for awhile).

db1au
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:22 PM

My 6th grader's bad about not turning in her work.  Very frustrating indeed.  She's also very unorganized and forgets very easily.

Morrigan333
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:02 PM

I got the same thing. My dd(12) does it. I put a "TURN IN HOMEWORK" sign in one of those plastic sleeves inside her homework folder. I also tried a musical card that was set to open as she opened her homework folder(but the damn Principal ripped it out)

beckolette
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 4:08 PM

My son is 14 and we have fought this for years. He's been tested for everything they can think of, seen a phyc for 2yrs and has special study hall attention. Nothing wrong with him. He is very attentive in class, a perfectionist, engineers brain. Loves science, math, history and reads on a college level. His aptitude tests shock teachers all the time. 

The kick in the teeth is he is really smart and shows it on tests and class participation. Study hall teacher has now started asking him to help others with homework. Both sides of his brain work in unison, ie: talent show, he rode a skateboard around cones in a pattern, while playing song on recorder with one hand and bouncing a super ball with the other hand. 

We just keep plugging along, and things are getting better, some day his brain will mature and the connection will happen that he remembers to turn in his work. 

ThinkAgainMom
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 4:53 PM

What does DD say about it?  I have a DD who has always been a bit of the absent-minded professor (She can go to her room to do two specific things, and come back a half hour later, having done neither one and not remembering them until I ask if she did them.  This got so bad at school a few years ago we had her IQ tested. She was off the charts.)  As many very bright people are, she is highly 'visual spatial", this means that she absorbs things visually and in whole-brained ways that make the linear thinking required by school routines challenging.  She gets off topic easily whenever there is something more interesting. 

At Middle School, this has been challenging because some teachers make a strict point of asking for assignments, and others are much more casual, or have a "put it in the basket, I'm not asking" policy, half-way through the year.  They are trying to teach them to be responsible and that is a lesson my highly-distractable needs.

So, we have talked through how each teacher handles homework and she KNOWS which classes put the onus on her.  So when she is headed to English, her first thought has to be, "Hand in my English homework," not "I can't wait to tell Julia ...."  I made her a weekly quick sheet for homework assignments that sits right inside her big binder, on top of everything else.  Classes where there is not a lot of hand-holding about homework are highlighted in yellow.

She messed up on handing in an English assignment last week, and didn't confess when it happened. (she got a zero.)  I had to see it on the online system.  When I talked to her, she was upset.  I told her we all make mistakes, but we need to learn from them.  So she needed to figure out what happened that day so she could try to prevent it from happening again.  If she is taking it seriously (and her upset showed me she was) all I can do it support her.  She will grow up before I know it.  Hopefully she willl get this 99% of the time by then.

psych_mom
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:13 PM
I agree with this. If it was a behavioral disorder like ADD or ADHD it most likely would have showed up before now.

Quoting Barabell:

My son does that every once in awhile too. I think it's kind of normal for this age. They're testing their boundaries and what happens when they slack. I check my son's online classwork often right now because he was slacking a couple weeks ago (which--like in the case of your daughter--resulted in being grounded for awhile).

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courtneywillis
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 8:17 PM

She might be getting burnt out on school. Is she well balanced in extracurriculars?


lovingmamma01
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:34 PM


She has piano and she has been in Volleyball. We didn't sign her up for Spring Volleyball, because her homework and grades take precedence. Once she gets back on track, we'll sign her up again. 

Quoting courtneywillis:

She might be getting burnt out on school. Is she well balanced in extracurriculars?




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