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Tween Titans Tween Titans

I caugh my daughter looking at porn!!!

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:48 AM
  • 19 Replies
My 11 year old was plaing on the computer and turned it off when I walked in the room. I pushd her out of the chair to look at what she was looking at and it was some naisty lezbo naked making out. I have parental controls on my computer!!! I dont know what the punishment should be. Im heartbroken that this is the world we live in. What would you do?
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by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:04 AM
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I wouldn't punish her. I would talk to her about why porn isn't appropriate and not hiding things from mom.

I would review the history and see if it a one time thing or a habit and go from there and update your parental controls.

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AutymsMommy
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:32 AM

You pushed her?

And are you upset that she was watching porn, or that it was gay porn?

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














MrsHMS
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Tell me why I should punish her. I am the first to admit im lost on this subject. Im not thinking clear I need to breathe.
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SnapIt
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Punish?
Why?

It probably popped up when she looked for something

Obviously uour parental control feature wasnt working

Dont make her feel like she did the nasty herself. You can give her a complex now and it can effect her later
Its out there and there is nothing you can do about it, but talk to her calmly about the differences of life
Its not wrong to be gay
Its not wrong to have sex or to kiss
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Zamaria
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:21 AM
I think you are way too worked up about this. No, she shouldn't be looking at porn. So tell her not to do it again, talk to her about why porn is not ok, let her know that its ok to be curious, but that she should talk to you if she wants to know about sex or her body, not look at porn, and then leave it at that. And update your filters, etc. I only let my kids online when I'm in the room. The computer is in a public area. Maybe something you want to consider. If she does it again after you tell her it isn't acceptable, then you give her the same consequences you would if she disobeyed you with anything else. But you need to make sure you're calm and not harsh with her before you talk to her. If you freak out on her and are harsh about it, she is going to shut down and not accept anything you have to say. She will just hide things from you and won't talk to you about sex or ask you any questions she might have. Just try to chill out and remember that its normal to be curious about sex and bodies and all that.
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MrsHMS
by Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:25 AM
I dont care about the gay part I care about the porn part. Im not putting them in different levels of badnesss for a child they're all bad. It is wrong to be sneaky.



Quoting SnapIt:

Punish?


Why?





It probably popped up when she looked for something





Obviously uour parental control feature wasnt working





Dont make her feel like she did the nasty herself. You can give her a complex now and it can effect her later


Its out there and there is nothing you can do about it, but talk to her calmly about the differences of life


Its not wrong to be gay


Its not wrong to have sex or to kiss


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M4LG5
by Valeri on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:03 AM

I agree with others.  I don't think this should be something to punish for.......this time.  Talk about it with her.  Talk about why its not appropriate and let her know that you do not want her to do it again.  Don't get upset.

mypitusadoll
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:46 AM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry about what happened with your daughter. You may be interested to know that Focus on the Family has some valuable information on how to handle a situation like the one you are facing. Here is a link to one of their articles on the subject: When Children View Pornography. You will find plenty of good information for you as a parent by using this link. If you want, you can also call their counselors at 1-855-771-4357. They will be happy to talk with you over the phone, this is a free service. I am praying for you!

elkmomma
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 12:30 PM

WOW not sure what I would do or rather what I will do if I catch DS either.  Curiosity is natural at this age as well as peer pressure.   Take a few minutes to breath, calm down, and reset your parent locks(change passwords / codes).  Make some cocoa or whatever both of you can enjoy together and talk about what she saw.   Explain your reaction or fears and concerns about this; she needs to know your human and make mistakes too.  More than anything LISTEN to her before asking a bunch of scary questions.  I'm betting that at this age (at least I hope) our kids really don't understand about porn let a loan the gay stuff  she saw. 

kmrtigger
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:49 PM

I have to jump on the do not punish her train. This is a teaching moment. Explain to her why this is unacceptable. Explain to her the rules of being online and what happens if she breaks the rules.

I can understand you were shocked and at a loss as to what to do. Part of parenting is stepping back when we are upset and thinking logically as to what our next step should be.

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