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Tween Titans Tween Titans

When friends grow apart...

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 5:44 PM
  • 14 Replies

It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry.

She just found out that a girl who lives across the street, who she has kinown since she was 3 and considered one of her best friends, did not invite her to her birthday slumber party on Friday night. I had to explain that sometimes people disappoint us, and sometimes even the best of friends can grow apart. 

I don't know how she is going to react tomorrow when she sees her at school. Poor girl. She is so sad.

by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 5:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
M4LG5
by Valeri on Mar. 14, 2013 at 5:58 PM

I was your daughter in high school.  One Friday, they were supposed to come pick me up for a football game.......and never did.  They claimed that they didn't have room but they didn't even bother to call me.  They had been my friends since 10 years old.  Towards the end of my high school year, I just hung out with different people. 

Bellebean10
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 3:58 PM

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. That is like an arrow to the heart.  My DD found out about a slumber party this weekend to that she was not invited too. It's rough. But I explained that these things happen and sometimes we cant invite everyone either. Will you do something fun with her tonight?

embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 11:02 PM

Poor girl! It's tuff when you get left out of the party. Any clue as to why she wasn't invited? Hope you guys found something fun for some mother daughter time.

mom22tumblebugs
by Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 4:14 PM

Her friend is 6 months older, so one grade higher than my daughter. I'm thinking that girls in the same grade who she sees and talks to from class is who she invited. When my daughter found out, she said she was glad we didn't have a girl scout meeting. My daughter is the only 4th grader with 7 other 5th graders. Talk about feeling excluded. She thinks all the other girls are invited except her. The slumber party is this upcoming Friday. Not sure yet what we will do. Maybe I will have my daughter invite some of her other friends over, so she realized she does have other friends and can focus on them instead of her so called friendand the girls she invited.

Quoting embrigmom:

Poor girl! It's tuff when you get left out of the party. Any clue as to why she wasn't invited? Hope you guys found something fun for some mother daughter time.


catngabsmom
by Erica on Mar. 16, 2013 at 5:14 PM

i went through something similar this summer with my youngest dd, her and her bff at that point are only a little over a year apart, but two grades apart. she didn't want to invite my youngest dd because she wanted people who are in her grade, but was going to invite my oldest dd, who is 2 months older than her, but a grade below her. i told the mom it wasn't happening, there was no way i could tell my youngest dd that her bff wasn't inviting her, but was going to invite her sister (and oldest dd and bff aren't even close friends). i managed to keep it from both of my dd's till after the party, but once they found out, the relationship has never been the same.

TheartAH
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Maybe the parents put a strict number on how many she could invite and the girl had to choose. Not everyone can be invited to everything. If it was me I would tell DD that scenario maybe to help her take it less personnel :-( no point in teaching our children to hold a grudge

Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

Her friend is 6 months older, so one grade higher than my daughter. I'm thinking that girls in the same grade who she sees and talks to from class is who she invited. When my daughter found out, she said she was glad we didn't have a girl scout meeting. My daughter is the only 4th grader with 7 other 5th graders. Talk about feeling excluded. She thinks all the other girls are invited except her. The slumber party is this upcoming Friday. Not sure yet what we will do. Maybe I will have my daughter invite some of her other friends over, so she realized she does have other friends and can focus on them instead of her so called friendand the girls she invited.


Quoting embrigmom:


Poor girl! It's tuff when you get left out of the party. Any clue as to why she wasn't invited? Hope you guys found something fun for some mother daughter time.



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psych_mom
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:22 AM
Aww, hugs to her. Hope she had a good weekend regardless.
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mom22tumblebugs
by Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 6:20 PM
I did explain it that way. But it still hurt her b/c she wasn't chosen over one of the other girls. She's not stupid, and sees clearly now where she falls on the friend totem pole.
Quoting TheartAH:

Maybe the parents put a strict number on how many she could invite and the girl had to choose. Not everyone can be invited to everything. If it was me I would tell DD that scenario maybe to help her take it less personnel :-( no point in teaching our children to hold a grudge

Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

Her friend is 6 months older, so one grade higher than my daughter. I'm thinking that girls in the same grade who she sees and talks to from class is who she invited. When my daughter found out, she said she was glad we didn't have a girl scout meeting. My daughter is the only 4th grader with 7 other 5th graders. Talk about feeling excluded. She thinks all the other girls are invited except her. The slumber party is this upcoming Friday. Not sure yet what we will do. Maybe I will have my daughter invite some of her other friends over, so she realized she does have other friends and can focus on them instead of her so called friendand the girls she invited.


Quoting embrigmom:


Poor girl! It's tuff when you get left out of the party. Any clue as to why she wasn't invited? Hope you guys found something fun for some mother daughter time.




ksrsmommy
by Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 8:16 PM

I so feel for her! It's hard to watch. My daughter was friends with the girl two doors down for years, until almost middle school, when another girl moved in across the street that she already knew and was friends with. The original neighbor girl dropped my daughter so quickly. My daughter was devastated. We talked a lot about how things like this can happen, and I let her be upset- because it just stunk! But I also distracted her and set up lots of other play dates with friends to keep her busy. This was almost two years ago, and she's certainly over it, but still a tad bitter. She'll make a face at their house if we drive by sometimes. So let your daughter be sad, and let her vent. But keep her busy and remind her of all the other people in her life. She may still end up friends with this girl, just not as close as they once were.

Randijt154
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Does your DD and this girl still hang out regularly? Have their playdates become more and more spread out? You can't hold on to everyone that's ever been in your life, especially so young. Maybe it was just time for the older girl to move ahead, it's difficult for an older child to hang back for a younger one, as much as that sucks for the younger girl. If they were so close and this was shocking and unfair to you, why haven't you spoken to the other mother? I am so sorry her heart is broken. I believe it's hard for children to maintain relationships at all, let alone when they're in different grades, different friends, and not running together all the time. You know how to best explain it to your child, if you're really upset you need to call the mother.
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