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Tween Titans Tween Titans

When friends grow apart...

It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry.

She just found out that a girl who lives across the street, who she has kinown since she was 3 and considered one of her best friends, did not invite her to her birthday slumber party on Friday night. I had to explain that sometimes people disappoint us, and sometimes even the best of friends can grow apart. 

I don't know how she is going to react tomorrow when she sees her at school. Poor girl. She is so sad.

by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 5:44 PM
Replies (11-14):
mom22tumblebugs
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:18 AM
I'm actually not upset. Kind of glad to be honest. The friend is trying to grow up too fast in my opinion, and chasing to be part of the "popular" crowd, even though she is really awkward and trying to find her way in. As hurt as my daughter was, I think it is a good opportunity for her to make new friends. She is still friends with her. Her friend played here this past weekend for a few hours with my dd. So, to answer your question, yes they do play when they don't have other committments like basketball, volleyball etc. I am friends with the mom, but I'm not going to talk to her and tell her who her daughter should invite to her slumber party. If the friendship is waning, it is waning. My daughter has to learn to deal with being disappointed by other people. And how to overcome that feeling in a way that is positive instead of self defeating.
Quoting Randijt154:

Does your DD and this girl still hang out regularly? Have their playdates become more and more spread out? You can't hold on to everyone that's ever been in your life, especially so young. Maybe it was just time for the older girl to move ahead, it's difficult for an older child to hang back for a younger one, as much as that sucks for the younger girl. If they were so close and this was shocking and unfair to you, why haven't you spoken to the other mother? I am so sorry her heart is broken. I believe it's hard for children to maintain relationships at all, let alone when they're in different grades, different friends, and not running together all the time. You know how to best explain it to your child, if you're really upset you need to call the mother.

Randijt154
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:13 PM
I know from our experience in our neighborhood that the difference of just one grade can be huge. I'm so glad to hear your daughter seems to be recovering well. Childhood can be hard, especially for girls. I try to advocate the independent mindset to my DD. Be sensitive to your friends, but not so much that you start compromising yourself. I also know that there are some friendships that operate best one on one rather than in a group. I'm getting off topic. Wouldn't it just be wonderful of your child could absorb all of our wisdom and experience and thick skin? I wish mine could.


Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

I'm actually not upset. Kind of glad to be honest. The friend is trying to grow up too fast in my opinion, and chasing to be part of the "popular" crowd, even though she is really awkward and trying to find her way in.

As hurt as my daughter was, I think it is a good opportunity for her to make new friends. She is still friends with her. Her friend played here this past weekend for a few hours with my dd. So, to answer your question, yes they do play when they don't have other committments like basketball, volleyball etc.

I am friends with the mom, but I'm not going to talk to her and tell her who her daughter should invite to her slumber party. If the friendship is waning, it is waning. My daughter has to learn to deal with being disappointed by other people. And how to overcome that feeling in a way that is positive instead of self defeating.





Quoting Randijt154:

Does your DD and this girl still hang out regularly? Have their playdates become more and more spread out? You can't hold on to everyone that's ever been in your life, especially so young. Maybe it was just time for the older girl to move ahead, it's difficult for an older child to hang back for a younger one, as much as that sucks for the younger girl. If they were so close and this was shocking and unfair to you, why haven't you spoken to the other mother? I am so sorry her heart is broken. I believe it's hard for children to maintain relationships at all, let alone when they're in different grades, different friends, and not running together all the time. You know how to best explain it to your child, if you're really upset you need to call the mother.



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luvmy2gurlz0405
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:52 AM

My DD is kind of in the situation your daughters friend is. She has some friends that she has grown up with (same community, same church, same school) But she plays travel softball and has become really close with her teammates. Most of them are from neighboring communities. Anyways, she is still friends with her old friends, but they don't see each other alot because her weekends are usually spent at tournaments, so this year for her birthday she wants to have a slumber party, and I HAVE to limit the number of kids she can invite bc we would end up with 30 or more lol. So she is having a hard time deciding because she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So it really may not be personal, I'm sure it was hard for the friend to pick and choose.

mom22tumblebugs
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:51 PM

My daughter is having her own sleepover tonight, with her other best friend. They are a much better and natural fit.

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