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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Advice Needed: My dd who is 11 and recently started her period...

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 1:36 AM
  • 16 Replies

My dd who is 11 and recently started her period will not keep herself clean. She hates to take a bath and refuses to wear deodorant. I don't know where she gets it!! We are very big on hygiene but she seems to fight me all the way and I don't want kids at school to make fun of her. What should I do?

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 1:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nebcutie
by Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 1:42 AM
Have you tried the american girl books about growing up and how to deal with friends? There are a few different ones and maybe her reading them will help. It kind of talks about those situations and maybe when it is not coming from mom she might understand. I also say depending on the child either take her and let her pick out the deoderant and stuff if she will not go for that buy the stuff that says teens on it.
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:35 AM
Bathing and proper hygiene are not optional in our home.

If you want to be treated like a big kid and have privileges of a big kid then you shower and do chores as required.

If you choose not to, you will lose privileges.
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kblpooh
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:18 AM
What about her taking a shower vs bath? Also maybe you need to take her to Dr or have school nurse or someone she is uncomfortable with talk to her about it.
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minimo77
by Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:54 AM

Just tell her she will stink and loose friends if she continues to neglect being clean.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Definitely approach her with the American Girl book or something like it to talk about the importance of it and the consequences (not discipline but natural consequences....rash, smell, etc) that can happen if she doesn't keep herself clean.

Lucky1123
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:32 AM

I was an "early bloomer", I started at age 9.  I didn't rebel so much against hygiene, as much as having to wear a bra (lol).  But my mom got me a book that dicussed puberty.  Also, try having the school nurse speak with her about the changes in her body and what she needs to do to take care of herself.

jambaby
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:45 AM

Does she say something about it like I don't want to because....? Or is she just indefferent about it all?

momof2ex1
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 2:45 AM
As hard as it is, because I am against this as well, but my husband believes that it will only take once of being made fun of and that will solve the problem. I don't want my daughter scarred for the next 6 years of school. You know once you build a reputation that's that.

Anyway - you'll just have to keep fighting the battle. I do with my daughter. It's not a big battle but she will say, oh I want to take a shower in the morning. Well no. We won't have time for that. Because she is not a morning person and there will be no time. I have to remind her every day to put on deodorant. I have to tell her to brush her teeth. I have to mention to her when I can smell her. Lately she is getting better for a few reasons. Leg shaving and pimples. So now that she has that to deal with, showers are not a battle. But getting her to do it in a timely manner is the new battle.

I do believe it is a phase and she will grow out of it. At least that is my experience. I also think my daughter sometimes just doesn't want to stop whatever she is doing to take a shower.
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Wyldbutterfly
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 8:58 PM

Completely normal. Don't fret. When some one at school tells her she stinks she will change her ways.

birdandchicks
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:45 AM

I took care of this problem with a real life example.  There is a man in my office that has really bad BO and breath.  It's sad but no one wants to sit next to him in meetings or work with him at all. It's at the point where you have to try not to breath too deeply when you talk to him.

Anyway.  I explained this to my children and told them they really don't want to be the one that everyone thinks stinks and no one wants to be around. They took that example to heart.

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