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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Advice Needed: My dd who is 11 and recently started her period...

My dd who is 11 and recently started her period will not keep herself clean. She hates to take a bath and refuses to wear deodorant. I don't know where she gets it!! We are very big on hygiene but she seems to fight me all the way and I don't want kids at school to make fun of her. What should I do?

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 1:36 AM
Replies (11-16):
shashta102
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:38 AM

have daddy tell her if she does not get in he will put her in the bath it work for me it might work for you

wendythewriter
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:02 PM

I'm not sure how well it will work for you, because I have a 12 yr old boy.

But I just sat him down and explained rather bluntly. I told him that he is growing up and part of puberty is that his sweat is no longer little boy sweat that doesn't really stink, but it is more grown man sweat which does. And I was then really blunt: When you stink, I don't want to be near you, and I'm your mother and I love you. Imagine how people who aren't me and don't love you might feel. Think about how you feel when you have to sit next to some stinky fat guy somewhere.

I did something similar with acne, except that I just explained that if acne gets really bad, it can be hard to get rid of, but if he takes care of his face now, before it gets really bad, he may never have to worry about it.

I won't say we never fight about him taking a shower or wearing deoderant, but it has greatly decreased the fights. I also found that it's helpful when they discover the opposite sex. The idea that a girl he thinks is pretty might think he stinks is horrifying to him. lol

abouttobeamom
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 4:23 PM

ask her why, and sit down and listen to her. dont be all like OMG why why why! just be like hey! lets go do some shopping and in the car just come out with it, tell her you want to be honest with her and tell her exactly, EXACTLY how you feel and think and ask her how she feels and thinks and be understanding to her thoughts. building that relationship like that will work wonders, i did it for my siser in law....shes 18, wants to major in astronomy, works hard in school and is still a virgin....i take full fucking credit for that shit and it helped me to know how to deal with my girls when 11 hits! and any questions she might have, be as honest and accurate as you can the way u feel comfortable explaining it

Annettey19
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 4:29 PM

I always loved wearing deoderant, a bra, shaving etc., so I have trouble understanding why young girls get this way sometimes but it seems to be a common thing.

Sadly, you might just have to tell her that if she doesn't keep clean she'll get teased. I got told I had bad breath when I was a little kid, ever since then I've been vigilant about brushing my teeth. If she doesn't learn it from you, she'll learn somehow.

Dolphins823
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:51 AM

She needs to know that  being clean during these days is good for her, to make her feel good , talk to her, see if she has any other problem that she would like to share.

buy her something she likes , a new cream  or may be a perfume.

momtomy7kids
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 12:02 PM

I'm not sure what to tell you since my kids are good about their hygene. I guess I would tell her that she will stink and no one will want to be around her so she won't have any friends and boys aren't going to be attracted to her.

Michelle
Mom to 5 boys and 3 girls with #8 on the way
Emily, Jordan, Sara, Jason, Aiden, Chloe, Nick and Cody EDD 7-29-13

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