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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Tween Boyfriends/Girlfriends...?

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:23 PM
  • 17 Replies

According to my 11 year old, just about everyone her age and even younger has boyfriends/girlfriends.  I asked her what it means to kids her age and she said hanging out, talking on the phone, texting and sometimes holding hands.  She doesn't have a boyfriend but there is a boy that lives near her grandparents (one town away) that she wants to be her "boyfriend".  I am shocked and really don't know what to think.  Are kids really  having bf/gf's at this age?  When I was a kid that didn't really start until about 13.

by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 10:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TheartAH
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I was 9 when a boy from my class gave me a flower on the school bus and asked to be my boyfriend! I was mortified of course lol. Dd 8.5 got caught passing a note in class about a "boyfriend" last week (which she knows is not allowed). She had no phone and can't hang out so if she did "sneak" one it would have to be during PE class so I'm not too worried (yet).
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-KJ
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:15 PM
Yes my 11y/o ds has a "girlfriend....." They talk at school and once in awhile on the phone....that's it. She gave him a Christmas present and he gave her a valentines present.
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KristenLystly
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:40 PM

I remember having a "boyfriend" in kindergarten!

I think as adults, we tend to put too much connotation around words, when at 11 years old, its not what we think it is.

momto3infl
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 8:40 AM

 I am 40ys old and I rememer kids starting to do this between 11-12yrs of age, doing exactly what you said.

shashta102
by Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:37 AM

Yes, from my DD who is 11, but my DD is not interested and finds the whole thing 'stupid', she says they need to wait until HS before having a relationship.

kerri1205
by Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 9:57 AM

My 11 yo son hashad 2 "girlfriends" -- they just text a couple times and then it ends.  I think it is just the kids learning how to relate to the other sex at a level a little more than friendship, but not the way aduls think of boyfriends and girlfriends.  My DH freaks out at the term girlfriend, I think it is just the next stage of learning how to relate to each other and if it seems early to me, I think it is because we didn't go to jr high until 7thgrade and now midle school starts in 6th grade here.

KristenLystly
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:42 AM
Even though it's innocent, an eye should always be kept, and "alone situations" should be kept to a minimum. It's not a trust issue, it's respect to the other kids parents.
csxt99
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 5:38 PM

Yes, it does start this young.  I have a daughter that will be 12 this weekend and is in sixth grade.  Yes, they have boyfriends and girlfriends this young.  They are in a rush to grow up.  She has at least one friend that likes to make out with her boyfriends.  Lucky for me, my daughter thinks this is gross and won't do that.  She doesn't even like her boyfriend holding her hand.  If I am an extremely lucky woman (which I seriously doubt), my daughter will continue to think it's gross all the way through high school.  And before anyone tells me, yes, I do know this is unrealistic.  I can still hope, though.  LOL

girlsclubmom
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 6:37 PM
1 mom liked this

My ds all know the no dating until HS rule and they all accept it and actually appreciate it. It gets them out of uncomfortable situations to say "I am not allowed to have a BF or date or anything until HS" I want my kids to not focus on this nonsense so young and my rule gives them the freedom to stay young. Recently a boy asked my dd out and when she said no and she told him he was shocked - he could not beleive she had never had a bf and asked if she was gay or something- she answered "no, Im 12, way too young to be thinking of boyfriends whats your problem"    Love it!!!

jthompson1976
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

at one of school i work with 12 year old just had a baby.   yes kids start very very early any more.  i have heard of so many younger and younger haveing babys.   i dont  let my kids date until age 16..

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