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Self esteem?

Posted by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 5:52 PM
  • 10 Replies

DD will soon be nine. She is very slim. She is the shortest in her class. Today she was upset at being called small. Her friends are saying she is small and saying things like you have small feet. I am sure they don't mean anything by it. Her best friend is actually skinnier than DD but a bit taller. These comments are bothering her. She wants to be taller and bigger like the other girls. What can I say or do to help her feel better?

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 5:52 PM
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by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 6:20 PM

Does she look like you or another relative at that age? Pictures of a "short, skinny" person to whom she's related might help. Then she'll see it's not forever.

That and talk about the changes that come with puberty. Be positive, but it might still help her to appreciate that she doesn't have to anticipate those big changes too much.

Also, tell her to mention it at her next doctor visit. If it's really that scary, knowing she's healthy might help too.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:00 PM

@@ I'd tell her to suck it up and move on. Then I would tell her to tell her friends she doesn't appreciate being called small and if they are real friends they need to drop it. 

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:35 PM

Help her find a good comeback for next time they say something. Nothing mean, but a little clever.  MY DD is very tall and very thin. She was a bit upset when some kid asked her if she was anorexic. Told her next time someone says that just say "I'm not anorexic, I'm athletic" then walk away.  She loved that one! Since she is a good eater and very into sports it is all true and shows the person teasing her she isn't bothered by their comment and she has something to feel good about.

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 10:36 PM
Can you tell her people come in all different shapes and sizes and what counts is how we are inside. A kind heart and kind words are what truly matters.
by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:33 AM
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There's a shirt I've seen lately..It says: "I'm not short-I'm fun-sized". ya know like fun size candy bars.

by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:20 PM

Take her to the DR. and let the Dr. tell her that she's fine and healthy.  They may want her to do a bone age scan to reasure  your DD is fine for her age.   DS is smaller for his age, but now that he's seen the endocrinologist he's feeling better about it.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:24 PM
Remind her that good things come in small packages. =)
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by Valeri on Mar. 30, 2013 at 9:28 PM
She needs to embrace it and fund a way to make it positive for herself. My twins are small and I thought they were going to feel the same way as your daughter but they surprised me and will say things like "I'm small and cute" and smile. Haha. problem there.

My oldest daughter has big feet for her size and she shrugs it off and says "I know" and reminds her friends that she is getting closer to wearing my shoes and her friends become jealous.
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by on Mar. 30, 2013 at 10:45 PM

Thanks ladies.

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:20 AM

My daughter (11) is at the 95th percentile for her age.  A very close friend is at the 20th.  The are a motly crew but in some ways it's helpful. They certainly accept that they are each outside the average.  I don't know if one is easier than the other, they both draw comments.

I have always taught my daughter that being upset over things you can't change is a waste of energy.  You really can't change your height, all you can do is celebrate what's great about it.  Right now, on a daily basis, she is celebrating that she is only a 1/2 inch shorter than me!!!

For her small friend, a couple of years ago we were talking about what's hard about being very short and what poeple say.  I told her that she's not short; just like the smaller candy bars, she's 'Fun Size'.  She loved it and still uses it to describe herself.

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