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Tween Titans Tween Titans

FD taking over AD life!

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:41 AM
  • 15 Replies

Hello - this is my first post. I have been a fp for 15 years. I have an 11 yo daughter that I've had since 8 months old that is just a sweet, kind kid. I also have an 11 yo foster daughter who I got when she was 7 (she has RAD and we will probably be adopting her within the year). They are in the same grade, different classes. The fc is very outgoing, bubbly, boy-crazy and popular. My ad is rather shy and quiet. I've noticed in the last year all my child's friends have gravitated to the fc. She gets invited on playdates, to parties, to sleepovers. The other doesn't and it breaks my heart.

I imagine I just have to let this play out but was wondering if you all had any advice (besides separate schools!)

 

by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TigerofMu
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:59 AM
It is tough when you have one or more who are outgoing and one who is shy or reserved. It's hard to stand back and not step in to "fix things", but hopefully your shy one will find her own true friends.
momofsixangels
by on May. 7, 2013 at 9:13 AM

I have a dd who was super shy. It took about a year but she slowly started to open up.Now she never stops talking.lol. Give her some time.Talk to her and ask her why she is so shy. Is she scared?Nervous?

2lucky
by on May. 7, 2013 at 9:19 AM

She isn't really shy - the other one is just WAY more mature, very hyper, gives everyone her phone number, acts like a valley girl and everyone is her BFF... she is just non-stop action and it seems like some kids gravitate towards that. My daughter seems happy enough but when one of her old friends calls and asks to talk to the other one I can see it hurts her feelings. *sigh*

Zamaria
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 9:27 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe see if you can get them in different clubs or activities that are suited to each of their personalities, that way maybe your daughter that is more laid back can make friends that have similar interests and more compatible personalities? As they get older, you may find that their personalities really balance and compliment each other and that they may have the same friends and do a lot of things together.
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louannwilkins
by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:42 AM

I know it has to be so hard to sit back and watch that.  I'd try talking to her when it's just the two of you.  Hopefully she's going to blossom on out soon!!   :)

SweetLuci
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:33 AM

 I'm a little confused about the abbreviations, but I tried to figure out what you meant. I think the best thing to do to not make the situation worse is to make sure the quieter one is complimented for her achievements, focus on that. Get her involved in things that interest her, and she'll make friends.

SweetLuci
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:40 AM
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 I guess I'm just not up on all the abbreviations, but I've been on here a long time, and I've never seen FD, AD, fp, fc, or RAD  and I don't know what they mean. Could you please tell me and anyone else who is confused?

wakymom
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:23 PM

 I'm guessing FD- foster daughter, AD- adopted daughter, FP- foster parent, FC- foster child(ren).

RAD is Reactive Attachment Disorder. (Gotta love Google! I knew it was a psychological disorder, but couldn't remember it stood for.)

Quoting SweetLuci:

 I guess I'm just not up on all the abbreviations, but I've been on here a long time, and I've never seen FD, AD, fp, fc, or RAD  and I don't know what they mean. Could you please tell me and anyone else who is confused?

 

 

 

 

 

 

wakymom
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2013 at 1:25 PM

 Get the more quiet one involved in her own activites, make sure to point out/compliment her good qualities and her accomplishments.

 

 

 

 

 

SweetLuci
by on May. 7, 2013 at 1:33 PM

 Thanks. That makes sense. Sometimes I think people use abbreviations and don't realize that other people don't always know what they're talking about.

Quoting wakymom:

 I'm guessing FD- foster daughter, AD- adopted daughter, FP- foster parent, FC- foster child(ren).

RAD is Reactive Attachment Disorder. (Gotta love Google! I knew it was a psychological disorder, but couldn't remember it stood for.)

Quoting SweetLuci:

 I guess I'm just not up on all the abbreviations, but I've been on here a long time, and I've never seen FD, AD, fp, fc, or RAD  and I don't know what they mean. Could you please tell me and anyone else who is confused?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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