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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Why my 12-year-old refuses to fix his own lunch?

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 8:36 PM
  • 28 Replies

And how to snap him out of it?

I'm a single mom and I work full time, lately overtime too. My son is always home before me and this year I stopped having the babysitter come over to stay with him until I come home. Now I just call him a couple times and have the neighbor drop by and check in on him. He's quite mature for his age, he knows to lock the doors, not open them to strangers, who to call for help if needed and that I expect his homework done by the time I get home. 

However, lately I noticed that he would rather sit hungry than even assemble a sandwich. I'm not even expecting him to actually do anything. I leave everything prepared for him down to sliced bread and chopped up salad veggies with dressing on the side, so he literally just needs to put it together and pour the dressing over the veggies, and he still won't do it. And that's without even going into anything more complicated than a sandwich.

The weird thing is that he used to like helping out in the kitchen. A couple years ago he even insisted on doing everything he could by himself. And now this...

Any ideas on how I could make sure he's not sitting hungry while waiting for me to come home?

ETA: I always take him along when I go grocery shopping, he picks out what he wants, some of it is microwaveable and I've offered him leftovers too. Still nothing. 

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 8:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjimaging
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this
If it were me, I wouldn't worry about it. He's old enough to figure it out. JMO.
momofsixangels
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 10:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldnt make it for him. If he is hungry enough he will fix himself something to eat

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by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:06 AM

I do agree with the others,
While of course you don't want him to be hungry ..
But really he should be making his own sandwich.
Good luck & let us know how this goes ;)

cocoroo
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:23 AM

My 10, 12 and 15 yo children are home 3 days a week.  If they don't make their own lunch, they don't eat.  Not my problem.  They are capable.

Zamaria
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with the other moms. You could ask if he'd rather have something besides a sandwich, something microwavable maybe, but if not, he will eat if he gets hungry enough!
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PookiePanda
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Give him lunch money. Kids don't like their mommys packing them lunch past a certain age.

Sister_Someone
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 3:53 AM


I don't make it for him. That's one thing I set very clear, especially because I know he's doing this out of spite. I said that I will under no circumstances make his lunch and that he is free to sit hungry if his heart so desires.

As a mom though, I do worry about him sitting hungry. I've been hungry too many times in my life that I get to worry about my son doing it for no good reason.

I was just wondering if someone has any ideas on how to talk to him about this. :)

Quoting momofsixangels:

I wouldnt make it for him. If he is hungry enough he will fix himself something to eat



dolphincjc
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 3:59 AM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't worry about him sitting hungry.  There is hungry because there is no food, and there is "hungry" because he is too lazy to get up and put a sandwich together.  He won't starve.  I would make sure that there isn't a lot of snack food around though.  If you can choose between a sandwich and salad or a cupcake, what would you choose? 

Quoting Sister_Someone:


I don't make it for him. That's one thing I set very clear, especially because I know he's doing this out of spite. I said that I will under no circumstances make his lunch and that he is free to sit hungry if his heart so desires.

As a mom though, I do worry about him sitting hungry. I've been hungry too many times in my life that I get to worry about my son doing it for no good reason.

I was just wondering if someone has any ideas on how to talk to him about this. :)

Quoting momofsixangels:

I wouldnt make it for him. If he is hungry enough he will fix himself something to eat





Tydie01
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:29 AM
My son who happens to be the same age began to do the same thingand i tried the if you don't make it you don't eat but i still worried about him especially if i had to pull overtime. So finally after 3 weeks of seeing the food i prepared sit in the frig. I asked him straight out if he was mad with mommy or didn't like what i left. He stated sometimes he's just so busy playing after homework that he doesn't think about it or that he's tired of eating the same thing. Try leaving something he can prepare in the micro. Although this worried me at first i just had to trust that he remembered what i showed him on how to work it and i began to buy pizza rolls and hungry mans. Most of his problem was that i was staying away more and longer. So i explained that i trusted him and how i needed him to do his part so i could do mine. Don't forget that just because their older they still want and need to know they are the most important thing in our lives...yes sometimes we work so much that things run crazy in their heads because after all their still kids trying to find their way.
Tydie01
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 8:38 AM
thats a very good point. If he's just snacking on sweats he won't be hungry for a sandwich and veggies. What kids going to choose salad over chips and soda...although mine are bottomless pits both of my boys will eat the entire fridge out the house including the salad..lol..but the oldest whose 12 did have an issue similar to this for a while.


Quoting dolphincjc:

I wouldn't worry about him sitting hungry.  There is hungry because there is no food, and there is "hungry" because he is too lazy to get up and put a sandwich together.  He won't starve.  I would make sure that there isn't a lot of snack food around though.  If you can choose between a sandwich and salad or a cupcake, what would you choose? 


Quoting Sister_Someone:


I don't make it for him. That's one thing I set very clear, especially because I know he's doing this out of spite. I said that I will under no circumstances make his lunch and that he is free to sit hungry if his heart so desires.

As a mom though, I do worry about him sitting hungry. I've been hungry too many times in my life that I get to worry about my son doing it for no good reason.

I was just wondering if someone has any ideas on how to talk to him about this. :)


Quoting momofsixangels:

I wouldnt make it for him. If he is hungry enough he will fix himself something to eat








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