Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

middle school - fitting in

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:32 PM
  • 11 Replies

For anyone whose been there...

Is it possible to avoid the middle school girl drama? Are there things to do/not do to help you child not be teased and bullied? I find myself analyzing everything they will be taking with them with an eye towards it not making them be teased.

Middle school starts for my twin girls in three weeks.  The closer it gets the more worried about it I become. I admit it.  I'm becoming neurotic about it.

The school is large (5X) the size of elementary school. My girls tend to march to the beat of their own drummer. They don't like the typical teenage girl stuff.  One is way into mange, anime, fantasy and is very inmature for her age. She is also super sensitive and has low self esteem. Being teased daily or bullied would the worst thing in the world for her.

My girls were invited to a cousin's sleep over birthday party over the weekend.  In spite of my telling her not to, she brought little pet shop toys to the party. The other girls (her cousin's friends)  made fun of her and teased her about it. She was very upset.


Due to fine motor skills problems she'll have a laptop with her in class. Hopefully she'll not get too many comments about it. Any suggestion on responses if someone says something to her?

by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 2:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
SuperLooneyMom
by Silver Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 5:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't have suggestions. My son is in year two of middle school and very introverted. He's been bullied and things are different for him. All I can say is let them experience middle school and be there when they need you. Be they're friend and support at home and their advocate when needed. Most importantly take it one day at a time.

As for me my oldest is going to high school and I am having to take my own advice. Lets check back soon together and see how we are
mjande4
by Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this

I would make sure that they get involved in a sport/ club /activity ASAP.  This will establish friendships with like-minded people.

fygfitness_mom
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this

This is the approach I'm taking. My girls are athletes and this is very important to us. They have always done one sport and one academic type group so we are heading into the middle school years with that developed.

Quoting mjande4:

I would make sure that they get involved in a sport/ club /activity ASAP.  This will establish friendships with like-minded people.


mysweet1s
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:38 AM
My son starts middle school this year too. I could throw up! He's an outgoing, good looking, athletic type kid, but we have found over the summer that girls are getting really interested in him. But, these girls are brutal and so dramatic! Emotionally, he's just not ready to swim in that water! We really scaled back on what he is allowed to do electronically and have tried to encourage his healthy friend relationships (his friends that are still more interested in sports and messing around in the backyard then girls.) I wish he was 4 again to be honest.
mjande4
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 8:56 AM


You really have to "watch" the girls.  There are many at this age that are pretty bold in their manuevers.  Keeping tabs on the texting will help.  Good luck!

Quoting mysweet1s:

My son starts middle school this year too. I could throw up! He's an outgoing, good looking, athletic type kid, but we have found over the summer that girls are getting really interested in him. But, these girls are brutal and so dramatic! Emotionally, he's just not ready to swim in that water! We really scaled back on what he is allowed to do electronically and have tried to encourage his healthy friend relationships (his friends that are still more interested in sports and messing around in the backyard then girls.) I wish he was 4 again to be honest.



Morrigan333
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:07 AM
My dd had all the drama going on last year when she started 6th gr. She too is like your dd with the immature thing and the Manga and anime. DD says it lets her escape her "mean world" that she has to live with. She has been bullied since about the middle of 3rd gr. She has an IEp (though the staff seems to want to do as they wish-instead of following what the iep says). I'm hoping I can get her laptop written into the IEP THIS YEAR, she also has motor issues. Writing for her is absolute torture! I'm hoping that the 7th gr administrator is way different than dd's 6th gr admin..because he seemed to want to "penalize" dd for her "differences" instead of penalizing the bullies who were bullying dd BECAUSE of her differences. I really am hoping for a better year and less of a fight with them this year, but I WILL file state complaints. I haven't yet for the past school year but will just as soon as I get the copies of dd's confidential files. This school has been sooooo in the wrong.
birdandchicks
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:00 AM

We are doing this also.  They were in band last year and will be in band during middle. I put them in private lessons on the summer so they won't be behind the other kids. I'm hoping they will join chorus. The school is supposed to have a good director.

When I was in school the kids that were in these activities were generally nicer and more accepting of differences. (Plus mine aren't athletic)

However, we've done a ton of activities out side of school in the past.  For the most part that hasn't helped with them making friends.

 

Quoting fygfitness_mom:

This is the approach I'm taking. My girls are athletes and this is very important to us. They have always done one sport and one academic type group so we are heading into the middle school years with that developed.

Quoting mjande4:

I would make sure that they get involved in a sport/ club /activity ASAP.  This will establish friendships with like-minded people.


 

birdandchicks
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:16 AM
Wow. Your dd sounds just like mine. That's kind of scary. We have an IEP also. Writing is a torture Mine hasn't really been bullied yet but I can see it coming. It's sad b/c of my twins she is the most likely to be friendly with other kids but is also most likely to be made fun of b/c she's different. She says she prefers to hang out with boys b/c they aren't mean. I'm sorry she had to go through all that and the school hasn't helped. If you had to do it again do you think there is anything you or your dd could have done to escape some of the meaness?
Quoting Morrigan333:

My dd had all the drama going on last year when she started 6th gr. She too is like your dd with the immature thing and the Manga and anime. DD says it lets her escape her "mean world" that she has to live with. She has been bullied since about the middle of 3rd gr. She has an IEp (though the staff seems to want to do as they wish-instead of following what the iep says). I'm hoping I can get her laptop written into the IEP THIS YEAR, she also has motor issues. Writing for her is absolute torture! I'm hoping that the 7th gr administrator is way different than dd's 6th gr admin..because he seemed to want to "penalize" dd for her "differences" instead of penalizing the bullies who were bullying dd BECAUSE of her differences. I really am hoping for a better year and less of a fight with them this year, but I WILL file state complaints. I haven't yet for the past school year but will just as soon as I get the copies of dd's confidential files. This school has been sooooo in the wrong.
Morrigan333
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 12:09 PM

Well before the school year had begun(Aug) I filed for transfer to another nearby middle school(since i knew he kids at her assigned one would be problems). BUT because my filed transfer was after June 1st ( dd wasn't officially enrolled in the school system until July 3rd) they denied my request. I applealed that decision, was denied again, appealed that denial, was denied again, and appealed that denial and was denied again. By that time it was already Sept. and the trouble had already been started. The highest person I was "allowed" to speak with was the Superintendent of midle schools and she was very litle help..in fat she then sided with the school in saying that there were "minimal" problems, she also lied to me twice. I've never been able to speak with the Superintendent of Baltimorre County Public Schools (Dr. Dallas S. Dance). I keep getting referred back to Ms. "there is miminal problems".   State complaints (3 or morre) will be filed shortly or 6th gr year.  The iep stetd that my dd gets to use a calculator and the specialed ed resource teacher told dd "i'd like to see what you can do without it". That's NOT what the iep says!  I never would have alowed it if they had asked me (why do you think they didn't ask)?.  Yeah, I do hope this year will be different.  I still have yet to view the bullyinf reports that dd turned in and the ones I didn't manage to copy before turning them into the school.   Hmmmm, wonder why?????? Sumthing fishy going on.....


Quoting birdandchicks:

Wow. Your dd sounds just like mine. That's kind of scary. We have an IEP also. Writing is a torture Mine hasn't really been bullied yet but I can see it coming. It's sad b/c of my twins she is the most likely to be friendly with other kids but is also most likely to be made fun of b/c she's different. She says she prefers to hang out with boys b/c they aren't mean. I'm sorry she had to go through all that and the school hasn't helped. If you had to do it again do you think there is anything you or your dd could have done to escape some of the meaness?
Quoting Morrigan333:

My dd had all the drama going on last year when she started 6th gr. She too is like your dd with the immature thing and the Manga and anime. DD says it lets her escape her "mean world" that she has to live with. She has been bullied since about the middle of 3rd gr. She has an IEp (though the staff seems to want to do as they wish-instead of following what the iep says). I'm hoping I can get her laptop written into the IEP THIS YEAR, she also has motor issues. Writing for her is absolute torture! I'm hoping that the 7th gr administrator is way different than dd's 6th gr admin..because he seemed to want to "penalize" dd for her "differences" instead of penalizing the bullies who were bullying dd BECAUSE of her differences. I really am hoping for a better year and less of a fight with them this year, but I WILL file state complaints. I haven't yet for the past school year but will just as soon as I get the copies of dd's confidential files. This school has been sooooo in the wrong.



mamavalor
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:37 PM

No matter what one does one will be teased for something.  You can't avoid it.  People have no filter.  

My advise is to teach your daughter to be a strong person.  To love who she is.  To have a thick skin.  Teach her that it's okay to play with Little Pet Shops but only with others who will appreciate them, which means she will have to be aware of her friends and classmates.  Being careful of what to reveal to whom will best keep her away from drama. 

  

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)