Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Tween Titans Tween Titans

Is mine the only one?

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:39 PM
  • 21 Replies

After reading a few differnt posts on here about other tweens and friends and what rules you have for when your tween goes off with friends or meets up with them somewhere. Or having friends over, I'm starting to think my tween daughter (11) is very differnt from other tweens.

She doesn't go hang out with her friends, doesn't go off to play with friends. Doesn't ask to go to the mall or movies with her friends. She doesn't go to friends houses to hang-out, play or spend the night. She doesn't have friends over here often ( we usally suggest it).

I'm pretty sure she has friends, she always talks about them during the school year. And when we're out and about we often runs into someone she knows from school and they always say "hi" and talk for a bit. She's in girl scouts and gets along with all the girls in her troop.

In our old apartment there was a family with 3 boys (one about her age) that lived across the hall from us that she would sometimes play with and we still meet up with them at a local park to play once a week.

But should I be worried that she doesn't seem all that intrested in getting together with friends?

I did sign here up for an event for the kids entering 6th grade this fall, later in Aug. It will be a fun night of games and team building activites for her and other kids in her 6th grade class. So she'll get to know them.

Should I worrie or just let it go? Is she the only one like this?

by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
bzzybeemomof3
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 10:59 PM

 Although I have never met any kids at that age they didnt hang out or want to, I think it can be very normal if they are just more relaxed and like to keep to themselves. But usually by 13 they will get out more.

Are you worried maybe hat she does not really have that many friends? Or something else?

Maybe her friends have strict parents and she knows this so she does not bother asking. I am not too sure. lol

My dd is 11 nad hangs out all the time with her friends, here there and everywhere, and so does my 5 yr old (with in reason) lol

embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:07 PM

Honestly I'm not sure what I'm worried about. Maybe the fact that she doesn't seem intrested in getting together with friends. The one we've had over often I know the her parents very well and know she is not strict. It never crossed my mind that maybe her friends parents are.

Only other thing I can think of is we have moved a few times, but she is always in the "new school" for a couple of years.

I don't remember much what I did when I was 11 if I hung out with friends a lot or not, I know once I got into middle school I started spending more time with friends. She is starting 6th grade in Sept so maybe it is comming? 


Quoting bzzybeemomof3:

 Although I have never met any kids at that age they didnt hang out or want to, I think it can be very normal if they are just more relaxed and like to keep to themselves. But usually by 13 they will get out more.

Are you worried maybe hat she does not really have that many friends? Or something else?

Maybe her friends have strict parents and she knows this so she does not bother asking. I am not too sure. lol

My dd is 11 nad hangs out all the time with her friends, here there and everywhere, and so does my 5 yr old (with in reason) lol


 

OvrMyHead
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:26 PM
I don't know if its comparable, but my DS is just like your DD. my DS is 12. Socially, very similar to what you described. My DD is 9 and is always with a friend, and DD has do many friends. DS is an introvert though, he enjoys his alone time. It does bother me a lot though
bmw29
by Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:30 PM

My son is 12 and doesn't do any of that either. Now he does spend a good deal of time with his 12 year old cousin. Those two have been inseparable since birth and he stays there and she stays here quite a bit but as for just random friends, he has them but he doesn't hang out with them. 

embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:27 AM

Sounds like they are similar. It worries me because I want her to have friends. She talks about the ones at school but doesn't seem to want to get together with them outside of school.

She seems content spending time and hanging out with family. Maybe I should just enjoy it. 


Quoting OvrMyHead:

I don't know if its comparable, but my DS is just like your DD. my DS is 12. Socially, very similar to what you described. My DD is 9 and is always with a friend, and DD has do many friends. DS is an introvert though, he enjoys his alone time. It does bother me a lot though


 

embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:32 AM

My dd has an uncle who is about a year younger then she is (my dh's little brother) They have always loved playing together. We will have him stay with us from time to time.  And it seems he doesn't hang-out with friends much ethier. But as a mother it worries me to see her this way. She doesn't seem upset about it though.


Quoting bmw29:

My son is 12 and doesn't do any of that either. Now he does spend a good deal of time with his 12 year old cousin. Those two have been inseparable since birth and he stays there and she stays here quite a bit but as for just random friends, he has them but he doesn't hang out with them. 


 

bmw29
by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:48 AM

My thinking is, if he's happy then I'm happy. Why invent trouble if you know what I mean.

Quoting embrigmom:

My dd has an uncle who is about a year younger then she is (my dh's little brother) They have always loved playing together. We will have him stay with us from time to time.  And it seems he doesn't hang-out with friends much ethier. But as a mother it worries me to see her this way. She doesn't seem upset about it though.


Quoting bmw29:

My son is 12 and doesn't do any of that either. Now he does spend a good deal of time with his 12 year old cousin. Those two have been inseparable since birth and he stays there and she stays here quite a bit but as for just random friends, he has them but he doesn't hang out with them. 




embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes I know what you mean. Thinking back when I was in 4th and 5th grade I had just one really good friend. She was at my house almost every weekend. And in 6th grade (which dd is entering this fall) I had a couple of close friends that I spent time with but it wasn't like I went out with them all the time. It was more the summer between 6th and  7th grade that I really started hanging out with friends.

She is happy so I try not to worrie about it.


Quoting bmw29:

My thinking is, if he's happy then I'm happy. Why invent trouble if you know what I mean.

Quoting embrigmom:

My dd has an uncle who is about a year younger then she is (my dh's little brother) They have always loved playing together. We will have him stay with us from time to time.  And it seems he doesn't hang-out with friends much ethier. But as a mother it worries me to see her this way. She doesn't seem upset about it though.

 

Quoting bmw29:

My son is 12 and doesn't do any of that either. Now he does spend a good deal of time with his 12 year old cousin. Those two have been inseparable since birth and he stays there and she stays here quite a bit but as for just random friends, he has them but he doesn't hang out with them. 

 

 



 

mumsy2three
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:21 AM

My boys (11 and 8) don't run around town, hang out at the movies, mall or park on their own either. Both of my sons each have one preferred friend that they like to hang out with either at our house or at the friend's house. I think in our situation it's because we live in the country and have to drive to get to the movies, mall, etc. I'm not worried about it yet, I know with our dd, who is 19, she started doing more things with friends when she was in 7th grade. She would go to sporting events at the school, be dropped off at the movies or park with friends, etc. Our mall doesn't allow unchaperoned kids/teens so that is one place that isn't a popular hang out here.

embrigmom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:32 AM

Yeah I don't mind to much that she doesn't go to the mall with friends. I'm not sure how I feel about kids going to the mall or hanging out at the mall without an adult. At some point I'm sure it wil happen. 


Quoting mumsy2three:

My boys (11 and 8) don't run around town, hang out at the movies, mall or park on their own either. Both of my sons each have one preferred friend that they like to hang out with either at our house or at the friend's house. I think in our situation it's because we live in the country and have to drive to get to the movies, mall, etc. I'm not worried about it yet, I know with our dd, who is 19, she started doing more things with friends when she was in 7th grade. She would go to sporting events at the school, be dropped off at the movies or park with friends, etc. Our mall doesn't allow unchaperoned kids/teens so that is one place that isn't a popular hang out here.


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)