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Have your children ever had to deal with loss?

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:47 PM
  • 10 Replies

Every morning for the past 11  years, my kids and I have listened to the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning show on the radio. He died on Saturday at age 53 while at a celebrity golf tournament.

My tween heard about it over the weekend. This morning we listened to the tribute show. 

He has never had to deal with death before and he is understandably confused (he is only 8). While we did not know him personally, we listened to him everyday. When you do that, you kind of get to know the person on the other end of the radio, almost like a friend. 

Anyhow, I was just wondering if your kids have ever had to deal with death and how do you talk about it with them.

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:47 PM
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by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:53 PM

My kids lost both of their grandmothers within 3 months of each other. I talked to each of them about it. My 2 boy seamed to be okay with it, or my thought just didn't talk about it. My daughter on the other hand was devestated with losing my mother. She was 10 at the time. I mostly just sat and listened to her and told her it was okay to cry, but they were both in a better place and it was just their time. She eventually went to counceling and it really helped.

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:57 PM

Yes, my DD is 12 and over the past few years, she has lost her great-grandma and 2 dogs.   Death and grief are hard, but it is a critical part of living.  We have to teach our kids that it is OK and it is OK to be sad and angry and confused.   We talk about the good times we had with those we lost and talk about them being in heaven.  

by Bronze Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:58 PM

She was only 3 and 4 when my grandmothers died. So she really doesn't remember them. She has had pets die and that made her very sad I think she was about 5 or 6 when that happened.

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 1:16 PM

 I talk with my children openly and honestly about everything, including death.  We have had a few family members pass away over the past few years and both boys have attended the wake and funeral.  They've also done remarkablely well with handling both of their grandfathers having different forms of cancer.  We told them all about the cancer, including surgeries, treatments, odds of a full recovery, etc.

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 5:58 PM

No, none of my kids have experienced a death in the family yet. My 2 oldest have experienced loss but not to death. Their biological mother walked out on them about a year and a half ago leaving them with us. The older of the 2 is my husbands biological son, the younger one is the half sister of the older one (same mom, different dad).

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 6:00 PM

Death is part of life and it's important for children to understand this.  It is best to be open and honest with your kids about death. It is good to look for teachable moments and opportunities to talk frankly, not only about what's happened, but also about their feelings about it.  

Be sure to use age-appropriate language.  Bear in mind that most young children don't have the capacity to grasp abstract concepts like death.  There's a good chance that they will not fully understand what has happened to this radio personality and won't be able to appreciate the permanence of death.  So keep the discussion simple.  Gear it to your children's level of maturity and insight.  

by Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:00 PM

 My oldest first had to deal with death when my grandpa died. My son was 4 1/2 and had been pretty close to him. He asked a lot questions (well, really, the same few over and over) and we answered them. He was very logical about it all, not very emotional- I don't think he entirely understood it all. My grandpa was cremated, so there was just an urn sitting there and I'm not sure he put together at that age that grandpa was REALLY gone as opposed to just not in the room with all of us. 

 My grandma died in 2008, but she didn't live close and had had Alzheimer's for all of my kids' lives so they were pretty matter-of-fact about it.

We just lost my FIL May 31st, though. My in-laws lived next door, so my kids were super close to him. My oldest was sad, which manifested as anxiety; my youngest was a little sad, but didn't say much; and my daughter (middle child) cried and cried and cried like her heart was completely breaking- especially the day of the funeral. We did lots of comforting and the kids didn't really ask questions this time, they just wanted us to confirm for them our beliefs about what happens after death. They are doing pretty well now.

by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:05 PM
My kids have had to deal with the loss of a great grandma, uncles, aunts, and most recently the death of my bff's 22 month old. We have talked about how it is a natural part of life but they questions that with the death of the 22 month old. Now we have lots of discussions about murder, prison, depression and a few others.
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 10:02 PM

So far my kids haven't dealt with a close friend or family member but they have with animals.  It's really sad to see my kids cry when their hamster dies even though they know it will happen one day.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:32 AM
I'm sorry, but we don't idolize celebrities in our home. It is stupid, IMO for a child to be crying voice.

My children have dealt with the loss of family. People with morals and values who interact with them. Listening isn't interactive to me.
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