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She is living with her daddy....(PIOG)

Posted by on Dec. 26, 2007 at 10:16 PM
  • 7 Replies
Well my daughter has decided she wants to live with her dad. She has been there for about 4 weeks now. I didn't write this post before because I probably couldn't have made it thought it. lol  She is 9 and she did not like the school district we are in at all. She has gone there for since Kindergarten but she has never really thrived here. Well the school district her dad lives in is huge!! Apparently she is in her element there. She tells me about all of her friends and her grades are great! She seems really happy. At first I wasn't sure if I was more afraid she would be happy or be miserable. As a mother you don't want your child to be unhappy but the selfish part of me is wanted her to be miserable so she would come home. She had mentioned it over the summer and I told her we would talk about it and think about it and see what she thought at the end of this school year. Well her school was having really bad head lice problems and for some reason she is really susceptible to it and she just kept getting it. She went to her dads one weekend after getting treated and called me over there to tell me that she wanted to go to school over there and live with daddy. I though I would die...seriously I have never had such an unexplainable pain. I knew I had to let her try is only fair. No matter how much it hurts me. I am very proud of her for being such a strong person and making such a difficult decision. She told me "mommy I don't want to hurt your feelings and I love you and I like living with you but I just think maybe it is daddy's turn to have me live with him" My heart melted...I put her in this position the least I can do is make it easiest on her. Anyway like I said she is doing really well there and luckily her dad and I have a very good relationship so that makes things a lot easier. That is what I have been dealing with for the last few weeks. Every day I seem to get a little more used to the idea..I still don't like it and I'm sure I never will! lol You never know how much one little person can fill up such a big part of your home until she is not there everyday! If this is what that empty nest thing feels like....all I have to say it congratulations to every mom that has made it through it because it is hell! Sorry this is so long I just needed to get it off my chest.

So did I do the right thing??? I like to think I did...but it is SOOO hard!!!
by on Dec. 26, 2007 at 10:16 PM
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by on Dec. 26, 2007 at 10:22 PM
Bravo to you for allowing your daughter the best.  I could not imagine the pain you are feeling.  I don't know if I am a strong enough to have done what is right....but, I know I admire your strength.  Your daughter will see this too....and she will always need you!  You truly are a mother who wants what is best for her matter the pain you have to endure.

Is a joint custody an option?  Do you live close enough?  Is she your only child?  I guess I could look at your profile before I posted...but, I didn't...sorry!
I hop the best for you and your daughter!
by on Dec. 26, 2007 at 10:26 PM

Thank you for your kind words! I do really just want what is best for her. We live about 40 minutes apart...we do have joint custody and I can get/see her any time I want to...and her dad and I have a good relationship so that makes things a little easier. We have another daughter (my husband and I) and she is 3...she really doesn't know what to think about sissy being gone so much.

by on Dec. 26, 2007 at 10:34 PM
40 minutes apart ... that isn't bad. How often do you get to see her then?

By the way ... I think if your daughter is safe, healthy & happy at her dads ... then yes ... I think you made a good decision by letting her feelings count. I know it is hard. But atleast she is 40 minutes away ... and not 4 hours away.

by on Dec. 27, 2007 at 8:31 AM
+ one           
by on Dec. 31, 2007 at 2:07 AM
Wow while reading this i was asking myself if i could do that.....i really dont know if i could. I am not sure it would ever come up if it were my kids simply because they are closer to me then to daddy anyway....but we are still together going on 18 yrs. But i just dont know what i would do....congrats on being that strong for your dd. You truley deserve the mother of the year award.
by on Dec. 31, 2007 at 2:12 AM
I do think you did the right thing.  But my heart aches for you.  You did something I don't know if I would have the strength and unselfishness to do.  I think you're a wonderful mom.


by on Dec. 31, 2007 at 2:18 AM
Ya know, if I could be there to give you a big fat bear hug, I would. I cannot imagine how hard that was, but honestly....the right thing is rarely easy. This will be one well adjusted person when she grows up, because she had parents who were willing to let her spread her wings and have a say in her life. I got a little misty when I read that post. I'd like to say I know how you feel, but that would be a lie. Rather, I feel FOR you. Good job.
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