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My 12 yr old daughter seems like she can't stand me! Her own Mom! :(

Posted by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 11:10 PM
  • 6 Replies
I'm just devastated. I'm at my wits end. I have no idea what is going on. I feel like I've been blind sided by a train. Seriously. My daughter is 12yrs old and when she talks to ME (And I mean ONLY I GET THIS TREATMENT) I just don't recognize this child. My daughter and I have always been close. Her childhood thus far has been filled with love, stories at bedtime, snuggles, laughter and fun. (Of course structure) She has always been such a good kid. She never had terrible twos, she never had tantrums or really cried all that much. She has grown into a very smart, beautiful young lady. For some reason she speaks to me as though she can't stand me! No matter how nice I am, no matter what time of day. Every reply I get from her is snide and annoyed sounding. I can't understand any of this. I've talked to her, explained that I won't tolerate it. Nothing changed. I've broken down in tears out of devastation because frankly I don't understand how this came to be. She doesn't seem too sympathetic. "Sorry Mom, I love you" and the next day back to the irritated child who speaks to me like I'm her worst enemy and she can't stand the sight of me. What do I do? Punish her and make it worse? Puish her how? Take her Ipod that she is constantly staring at? (Until she acts like a human towards me?) I'm not out to be friends per se and certainly not to be hated. I just want her to be normal like she is with EVERYONE ELSE!!! My mom, Dad, her friends, she is normal and fun. But Me?? I get the miserable girl who hates me. WHY???? What can I do to nip this treatment in the bud? It HAS to top NOW!!!!! I can't have this get worse and then God forbid a teenager with this bullshit attitute. I could never deal with that. I just want my sweet girl. The girl everyone else gets. I just want her to be respectful yes, but friendly and kind. Just normal!! Nice!! What can I do to get through to her that I won't allow it for another minute????
by on Aug. 18, 2013 at 11:10 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 6:53 AM

Bump! It's a stage. My dd also 12 is the same way.  HORMONES..gotta love'm

by Silver Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 9:41 AM
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 My guess is a combo of testing boundaries, hormones, and a version of how younger kids are angels in school and act out for mom and dad when they get home. She's secure in your love for her, so she's comfortable trying out this attitude on you. Stay consistent w/ punishment, keep reminding her you love her no matter what, and she should eventually come around.





by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 4:48 PM

dont worry about it it only gets worse!  LOL!  Im laughing but im serious.  Girls are AWFUL!!  It is their raging hormones.

by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 8:40 PM

 My 11 yr old dd, tells me at least 30 times a day she hates me, and I am mean and blah blah blah.

I just tell her that I love her anyways, and smile cause I know I am doing my job right if she hates me. lol We are still very close and she still tells me everything and I can listen and not pass judgement on whatever the topic is, but she still tells me she hates me when I have to be firm.

Its a phase, and will pass. lol

by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 8:50 PM
Ds is 13 and I get the attitude sometimes. DH doesn't. When he says I'm a mean mom, I tell him I agree. When he says I'm the worst mom, again I agree. We are so alike so I have a feeling we'll butt heads for a long time. I agree with a PP that she knows she can act out because you'll always be there so she can push the boundaries. Unless she's being truly vicious and hateful and threatening, I would keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. Eventually.
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by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 9:21 AM
My niece used to do the same thing with my sister. Then one day my sister went "off the radar". She left for the day and didn't answer her phone (her husband knew where she was at). Her daughter was so freaked out that she didn't know where she was and when she was coming home. It just shows that as mean as they are to us they want us around and to be present. I can't say her solution solved their problem instantly but it gave my sister a chance to take a break from the attitude and also opened her eyes to the fact her daughter DOES still love her and needed her.
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