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Tween Titans Tween Titans

I'm worried about my 12 year old daughter's friends.

Posted by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:21 PM
  • 8 Replies

Help!  I hope that I'm doing this the right way.  My daughter is in 7th grade.  I absolutley dislike my daughter's friends.  She no longer hangs out with all of her "nice" friends.  She wants to be with the girls that dye their hair, wear anime outfits, etc.  I have talked to her old friends and they say that she doesn't talk to anyone except these people.  She comes home from school and sleeps for hours and then does not want to go to bed and stick to a regular schedule.  She was caught up late texting and on the computer- so now I have banned any electronics after 9:00 pm.  I am trying to encourage her to make other friends (invite over, go to mall, etc.), but she will not budge.  She isolates herself from the family- lots of time alone in her room.  Including her in family activities is a nightmare- she wants no part of it.  I'm puzzled on how I should handle.  Any advice is greatly appreciated!

by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:21 PM
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Replies (1-8):
calsmom62
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 8:47 PM
1 mom liked this
take a deep breath. not all tweens and teens go through this but most go through a bit of turbulence and take mom and dad along. first of all. showing her you dislike her friends means she is going to keep choosing them over her old friends. and the fact that you talked to her old friends ( yeah the word probably got around to her that you were talking to them) further poisoned them. accept her new friends but you dont have to tolerate rude or disrespectful behavior from them either. in your house you can calmly correct them if it is necessary. but dont be a vulture waiting for a misstep. these are kids. their parents may think your kid is the ringleader. the best thing you can do is keep your teen busy. . with or without the friends. community volunteering. enrichment classes like anime drawing. start hiking or geocaching. jewelry making classes at michaels. try that japanese makeup application style that looks like anime or a dolls face. and if you accept her new friends. spend some time with them you might find they have something special to offer too. if they start saying. gee jenny. yourom is cool. your dd might relax a bit.
momof1228
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 9:20 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you so much!!  I'm glad that I asked for some feedback..... sometimes I feel all alone!

calsmom62
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 10:01 PM
2 moms liked this
you arent alone!! i have a ds who spent two trs if high school wearing the most. obnoxious clothes Hot Topic sold( chains zippers. studs ) to the point i had to tell him they were going to damage my washer lol. and his mopey depressing looking friends with dark clothes and hot pink hair were such a scary lot at first but they were all goid friends to one another. no one was doing any thing unhealthy like drugs and they all went to college and have careers now. but back then if you asked me how it would turn out I was scared to death for him at first.


Quoting momof1228:Thank you so much!!  I'm glad that I asked for some feedback..... sometimes I feel all alone!
beerabitch69
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

my DS 11 has had every color under the sun in his hair.

Hes an A student and a bad ass kid.Drummer. Football Star. Has really long blonde hair. I would hope you wouldn't judge him for his looks.

LostTheSlipper
by Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 2:48 AM
1 mom liked this

Go watch "Thirteen" and be scared. Seriously though, it helps you become aware in case you aren't.

Morrigan333
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this

It's just her braching out  trying to find out who she is, or who she wants to be. It's probably a phase. My dd is doing most of the things you listed, and she has been grounded from electronics due to neglecting the HW till the last minute so she's off elec for another week.   This to shall pass.

momto3infl
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 8:30 AM

 Nothing I can offer.  I see nothing about the friends, but you need to try to talk to see if anything else is bothering here-but I wouldnt blame the friends.

cocoroo
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this
I was one of the kids you describe and my friends and I were 'good' kids, we just looked different. As adults, we are, as a group, more successful than what you perceive as 'good' kids. Look past their outer appearance. As far as your daughter staying in her room and not wanting to hang out, I think that is pretty normal teen behavior.
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