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Wondering if this is abuse worthy of being reported to the state?

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 7:47 PM
  • 14 Replies
We have a neighbor girl that has had lice going on almost 5 months now. The first round one of the girls in the neighborhood got it too, her mom took care of it instantly, as did this girls mom. Then we found out she had it again (I think the mom only treated her and not her siblings) and let her mom know. It's been months and months and she still has it. She's not been allowed to play with my DD or the other moms DD since.

To give some background, she's been placed in foster care once already, for a couple years and her mom got her back about a year ago. My friend, who lives across the street from them has cared for her since she came back to her moms house. She feeds her breakfast, takes her to school, makes sure her homework is done, buys the materials for her projects, feeds her dinner, washes her clothes while she showers and sends her home just before bedtime. We teamed up and bought her school clothes, toiletries and got her a haircut (all with our girls as a "day out") prior to school starting. My friend dealt with the girls first period, and showing her how to shave her underarms. No one has ever looked for her, I would assume knowing that my friend has it covered. She's even tried to treat the lice twice herself, to no avail. So now, since October, she's told the girl she can't come over til the lice has been taken care of. She's even gone as far as to clip off a few strands of hair with nits on them, put them in a Baggie and had the girl take them to her mother. Since my friend has stepped away from it all the girls grades are suffering and she just sits on her porch all day watching the kids go in and out of my friends house. It breaks both our hearts. When the girl was taken away a few years ago my friend and her hubby even inquired if they could foster/adopt her. But with her mom being literally across the street the state wouldn't even consider it.

So the question is, what to do? The school knows, and has done nothing. Do we just step back and let the family alone or should we report it somewhere else? If so, where? The kid has to have a case worker that's keeping track of her, right? Why hasn't anyone noticed she's flunking school, smells, never has clean clothes and has had bugs in her hair for months?!

My daughter had invited her for a sleepover once and I stayed on the porch while they collected the girls things (I will NEVER let my child play there, ever) and my DD told me the girls room is a plywood floor, a mattress on the floor with a blanket, no sheets, no dresser, nothing. How did they let this kid come "home" to this?

Someone please advise. This is an awful situation but I honestly don't know if risking her getting taken from her mother again is the right thing to do....btw, the girl is 12, 4th grade (obviously held back at some point, I know).
by on Jan. 19, 2014 at 7:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Zamaria
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 12:38 AM
I would report it to social services, and probably the school nurse too. The school nurse may be able to move things along a little more quickly.
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Randijt154
by Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 1:01 AM
Both my friend and I have reported it to the school over and over and over again. They don't seem to care. The teachers know, the office staff knows, the nurse knows, the bus driver knows and the principal knows. I don't understand how nothing is being done.

I did some research online, having head lice for an extended amount of time is not considered neglect. I just don't know what to do.

Quoting Zamaria: I would report it to social services, and probably the school nurse too. The school nurse may be able to move things along a little more quickly.
Zamaria
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:42 AM
Well you should report the other things too. Combined they may be enough to get social services to investigate. But schools normally don't allow children with lice to return to school until the lice is gone, nits too. So maybe try the health department if you know she's got lice and you know she's taking it to school. it may be something they'd get involved in. Idk.

Quoting Randijt154: Both my friend and I have reported it to the school over and over and over again. They don't seem to care. The teachers know, the office staff knows, the nurse knows, the bus driver knows and the principal knows. I don't understand how nothing is being done.



I did some research online, having head lice for an extended amount of time is not considered neglect. I just don't know what to do.



Quoting Zamaria: I would report it to social services, and probably the school nurse too. The school nurse may be able to move things along a little more quickly.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MissyB1011
by Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 4:59 PM

 If the child has been removed before, she should have a caseworker. Is your friend who was taking care of this girl willing to call the office and tell this story to her former caseworker? Since your friend has direct knowledge of what's going on, her voice may be heard a little louder?

sonshining
by Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Yes, forget trying to get the school to help anymore. But like the above post mentioned, there are other forms of neglect besides the lice. She smells, that's lack of proper hygiene. I doubt she is fed anything nutritious. Etc. Do contact Social Services with address info and ask for the caseworker to come out and check. This girl will get taken away again.

cocoroo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2014 at 10:37 PM

Most schools no longer follow the no nit policy.  They stopped doing it because they say lice do not pose a health rims and it is disruptive to the children's education.

Quoting Zamaria: Well you should report the other things too. Combined they may be enough to get social services to investigate. But schools normally don't allow children with lice to return to school until the lice is gone, nits too. So maybe try the health department if you know she's got lice and you know she's taking it to school. it may be something they'd get involved in. Idk.

Quoting Randijt154: Both my friend and I have reported it to the school over and over and over again. They don't seem to care. The teachers know, the office staff knows, the nurse knows, the bus driver knows and the principal knows. I don't understand how nothing is being done.



I did some research online, having head lice for an extended amount of time is not considered neglect. I just don't know what to do.



Quoting Zamaria: I would report it to social services, and probably the school nurse too. The school nurse may be able to move things along a little more quickly.


Randijt154
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 12:08 AM
I looked up the states standards for neglect and it appears as long as she's fed, dressed appropriate for the weather, and not left alone then her mom is a-okay.

Quoting Zamaria: Well you should report the other things too. Combined they may be enough to get social services to investigate. But schools normally don't allow children with lice to return to school until the lice is gone, nits too. So maybe try the health department if you know she's got lice and you know she's taking it to school. it may be something they'd get involved in. Idk.



Quoting Randijt154: Both my friend and I have reported it to the school over and over and over again. They don't seem to care. The teachers know, the office staff knows, the nurse knows, the bus driver knows and the principal knows. I don't understand how nothing is being done.





I did some research online, having head lice for an extended amount of time is not considered neglect. I just don't know what to do.





Quoting Zamaria: I would report it to social services, and probably the school nurse too. The school nurse may be able to move things along a little more quickly.
Randijt154
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 12:11 AM
I checked on state standards for neglect. Proper hygiene isn't mentioned at all and as long as she's fed and dressed "weather appropriately" and not left alone, there's nothing they'll do. I think the animal cruelty laws cover neglect better than the laws for children.

Quoting sonshining:

Yes, forget trying to get the school to help anymore. But like the above post mentioned, there are other forms of neglect besides the lice. She smells, that's lack of proper hygiene. I doubt she is fed anything nutritious. Etc. Do contact Social Services with address info and ask for the caseworker to come out and check. This girl will get taken away again.

Randijt154
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 12:13 AM
I would think that a case worker would still be assigned??? She's been back with her mom for less than 12 months. I think my friend is worried if she takes any action and nothing comes of it, she'll be blamed and lose access to the girl completely.

Quoting MissyB1011:

 If the child has been removed before, she should have a caseworker. Is your friend who was taking care of this girl willing to call the office and tell this story to her former caseworker? Since your friend has direct knowledge of what's going on, her voice may be heard a little louder?

MissyB1011
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 5:19 PM

 Is there any possibility of doing it anonymously? My heart just breaks for that little girl!

Quoting Randijt154: I would think that a case worker would still be assigned??? She's been back with her mom for less than 12 months. I think my friend is worried if she takes any action and nothing comes of it, she'll be blamed and lose access to the girl completely.

Quoting MissyB1011:

 If the child has been removed before, she should have a caseworker. Is your friend who was taking care of this girl willing to call the office and tell this story to her former caseworker? Since your friend has direct knowledge of what's going on, her voice may be heard a little louder?

 

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