Wondering if this is abuse worthy of being reported to the state?
To give some background, she's been placed in foster care once already, for a couple years and her mom got her back about a year ago. My friend, who lives across the street from them has cared for her since she came back to her moms house. She feeds her breakfast, takes her to school, makes sure her homework is done, buys the materials for her projects, feeds her dinner, washes her clothes while she showers and sends her home just before bedtime. We teamed up and bought her school clothes, toiletries and got her a haircut (all with our girls as a "day out") prior to school starting. My friend dealt with the girls first period, and showing her how to shave her underarms. No one has ever looked for her, I would assume knowing that my friend has it covered. She's even tried to treat the lice twice herself, to no avail. So now, since October, she's told the girl she can't come over til the lice has been taken care of. She's even gone as far as to clip off a few strands of hair with nits on them, put them in a Baggie and had the girl take them to her mother. Since my friend has stepped away from it all the girls grades are suffering and she just sits on her porch all day watching the kids go in and out of my friends house. It breaks both our hearts. When the girl was taken away a few years ago my friend and her hubby even inquired if they could foster/adopt her. But with her mom being literally across the street the state wouldn't even consider it.
So the question is, what to do? The school knows, and has done nothing. Do we just step back and let the family alone or should we report it somewhere else? If so, where? The kid has to have a case worker that's keeping track of her, right? Why hasn't anyone noticed she's flunking school, smells, never has clean clothes and has had bugs in her hair for months?!
My daughter had invited her for a sleepover once and I stayed on the porch while they collected the girls things (I will NEVER let my child play there, ever) and my DD told me the girls room is a plywood floor, a mattress on the floor with a blanket, no sheets, no dresser, nothing. How did they let this kid come "home" to this?
Someone please advise. This is an awful situation but I honestly don't know if risking her getting taken from her mother again is the right thing to do....btw, the girl is 12, 4th grade (obviously held back at some point, I know).