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Tween Titans Tween Titans

My dd is 11...and she just started :(

Posted by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 7:35 AM
  • 11 Replies

I guess I'm a little sad because my baby is not a baby anymore.   Now that she has had this milestone...how do I talk to her about relationships with boys? Not sure how to approach that topic.

by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 7:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Momofmenagerie
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 7:44 AM
3 moms liked this
Getting ones period does not required talking about boys . It does require a talk regarding all other body changes she should expect. And also what changes her male peers are going through, too.

I find that it seems to be common to ignore the idea that the opposite sex is having their body go wonky on them, as well.

Small bites, here ,mini talks.....

and a bodily function does not mean she is all grown up, mama. She still a little girl.... Good luck. Talk, but lots of mini talks, not huge chunks.
mamaxs4
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 8:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Well...she knows a lot already...I made sure she was prepared. From the first time I sensed she was getting ready to start puberty we started talking about body changes and periods and how to take care of herself.  I know she's starting to like boys and she's going to start developing crushes and all that.....I really think that is an archaic attitude to have....since I have known a few pregnant 13 yr old girls....16 seems to be the average age and I really do not care to be a grandmother in the next 10 years. I don't want her life to become more complicated than it needs to be.  Yes she can date later on....just not sure how to talk to her about it.

Momofmenagerie
by on Apr. 11, 2014 at 3:43 PM
I don 't feel it 's "archaic " but you don 't LEAP from a first period to sex and pregnancy. Especially at eleven.
However there are a million books out thereto help cross this bridge should you chose to tell her everything about everything immediately.

My son knows pretty much everything now, but it was never a full sit down, let 's hash this out conversations. Taking the extra long way home from somewhere without the radio/ phone or any other distractions is how I handled it. He didn't have to talk, or look at me, but had no choice but to listen to me at least 45% of the ride. Questions are welcomed anytime, but our car rides are where serious conversations take place.

Quoting mamaxs4:

Well...she knows a lot already...I made sure she was prepared. From the first time I sensed she was getting ready to start puberty we started talking about body changes and periods and how to take care of herself.  I know she's starting to like boys and she's going to start developing crushes and all that.....I really think that is an archaic attitude to have....since I have known a few pregnant 13 yr old girls....16 seems to be the average age and I really do not care to be a grandmother in the next 10 years. I don't want her life to become more complicated than it needs to be.  Yes she can date later on....just not sure how to talk to her about it.

awbredux
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 12:15 PM

I understand your sadness.  We hit that milestone witin the last year.  I've talked with both daughters at various stages and discussed what seemed age-appropriate at the time.   They learn some in school, and that sometimes gives me a launching point.   

MissyB1011
by Member on Apr. 18, 2014 at 11:12 PM

 My DD also just turned 11 and has had her first period. I have always prepped her for puberty and periods by answering her questions then sitting down and talking to her about what to expect. I wanted to put off a full blown sex talk, but I didn't think it would wait any longer. She has come to me with questions about things she has heard at school. It kind of caught me off guard since she's only in 5th grade. We had to have a full blown birds and bees talk without getting too graphic.

MominCa
by New Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 9:27 PM

 i was that age . i recall my mom telling me about the birds and the bees. she told me now that i have a period. i don't recall it being in detail but more like this is whats going on and this could happen.

momofthem311
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:02 PM
Ours is close to 13 and hasn't started yet, thank goodness!!!
Not looking forward to that day
M4LG5
by Valeri on Apr. 28, 2014 at 2:03 PM

I think having her period and talking about relationships are two differen things.

Mlhmcb
by on May. 3, 2014 at 1:51 AM

Small chunks and open communication is a great plan!  I've worked in sexuality education for a long time, yet the first time my own daughter asked me about tampons, how the sperm got to the egg, etc - panic at the disco ;).   

I love Laura Bermans's comprehensive guide (book) for mom, and for DD there's the Care and Keeping of You (2 versions).  Website wise, I trust SIECUS: http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.viewPage&pageId=651&parentID=480. Good luck!!
catngabsmom
by Erica on May. 4, 2014 at 8:47 PM

Pregnant 13 yo girls and 16 being the average age? Where do you live?? My oldest dd will be 13 in a few months, she is a middle school with an enrollment of about 1400 kids, not one of them is pregnant!!! 

I'm with the other mom, long car rides seem to be when we get most of our talks in! I have covered lots of territory over the years, between the two girls, and long car rides to camp, the cabin and soccer games all over the state!!

Quoting mamaxs4:

Well...she knows a lot already...I made sure she was prepared. From the first time I sensed she was getting ready to start puberty we started talking about body changes and periods and how to take care of herself.  I know she's starting to like boys and she's going to start developing crushes and all that.....I really think that is an archaic attitude to have....since I have known a few pregnant 13 yr old girls....16 seems to be the average age and I really do not care to be a grandmother in the next 10 years. I don't want her life to become more complicated than it needs to be.  Yes she can date later on....just not sure how to talk to her about it.


Erica


Mom to
Caterina-12.75
Gabriella-11.25
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