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Tween Titans Tween Titans

12yr son stole a smart phone don't Knw how to punish

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM
  • 13 Replies

My son turns 12 on may 13. He is a great kid, respectful, helpful and kind. He how ever has a problem of taking things that don't belong to him. Just today I found him with a smart phone that does not belong to him. He did confess that he stole it cos he wanted a smart phone so bad. He currently has a regular basic phone which he can use to keep in touch with his friends at school as well as me. He also has a tablet, xbox, and a wii at home. So I don't think he needs a smartphone he has enough. Occasionally I will take away his tablet for a period when he misbehaves and this was within the timeframe that he stole the phone to played games on it. 

I will make him take the phone back to whoever he took it from and apologize, I also did give him some lashes in his hand for stealing. but at this time as a parent I'm not sure what I'm doing that's wrong. Does he really needs a smart phone to keep up with his friends??? Is this the appropriate time to stop using the cane and just talk things over? What other punishments would work besides taking things away?

by on May. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bcauseimthemom
by on May. 4, 2014 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like you need to take away all of his electronics for an extended pierod of time. I would also take his door off his room, take away anything fun and it would be to home and to school...that's it. What about looking into somewhere for him to volunteer at on the weekends?? It sounds like he thinks just because he wants something, he should just have it.  It really is not a good thing. I would be more severe in punishments and take his "things" away for at least a month....

coolmommy2x
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2014 at 3:09 PM
2 moms liked this
The last thing I would do is get a smartphone for him. Have you considered talking to a counselor to find why he steals? At his age he knows it's wrong.
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Lokeimel
by New Member on May. 4, 2014 at 5:55 PM

Yeah we have worked with a counselor in the pass regarding the stealing. His dad is not in his life so I guess part of the problem is that his trying to fill a void.....I work par time and a full time nursing student so it's sometimes really hard for me to spend as much time with him, Stealing is however never an excuse. 

Volunteering on the weekend sounds like a great idea I'll try that, he's got too much and does not appreciate it, It will probably only enable his bad behavior by getting more. Thanks ladies:)

coolmommy2x
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2014 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe get him involved on Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

Quoting Lokeimel:

Yeah we have worked with a counselor in the pass regarding the stealing. His dad is not in his life so I guess part of the problem is that his trying to fill a void.....I work par time and a full time nursing student so it's sometimes really hard for me to spend as much time with him, Stealing is however never an excuse. 

Volunteering on the weekend sounds like a great idea I'll try that, he's got too much and does not appreciate it, It will probably only enable his bad behavior by getting more. Thanks ladies:)

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GleekingOut
by Member on May. 6, 2014 at 3:57 AM
1 mom liked this

He would be handing it to whoever he stole it from IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS. He would then have NO privlieges, no electronics and his room would be stripped down to the bare essentials. I would also be going to the school to check his locker and I would be putting him in counselling (as you have) and he'd be volunteering with people who have LESS than him, and we'd be doing a LOT of talking.

4HMomto3
by on May. 6, 2014 at 9:06 AM
1 mom liked this

In my house, he would have lost ALL electronics, outside time, friend time, ect. The ONLY things he would be allowed to do is read, chores,sit in his room, or be near me. His grounding would last a month ! 


Also , dad not in his life is just an excuse. IT's what you make it, if you let him pull the whole pity card he will,  make him accountable for his actions and stop using the missing dad as an excuse. Now you being to busy for him that is another story, find some time. Sure it may be hard but it needs to be done. 

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2014 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree with everyone else. Loss of.all electronics and his basic phone!

Volunteering in a homeless shelter and or food pantry.

A youth program to keep him busy. Boys n girls club, big brothers, Boy Scouts, Antlers (through local Elks lodge) etc.
Lokeimel
by New Member on May. 7, 2014 at 1:33 AM

Grounding him abt a month sounds perfect! No TV, electronics, friends, or basic phone but necessities. Only it's his birthday in 2 weeks should I give him a day off on that day? he wants to play at skate zone with 3 off his friends. I did schedule a meet up with the person whose phone he stole and he will be returning it him self. Also instead of buying him a birthday present, he will be offering the equivalence in cash to this person whose phone he stole. 


4HMomto3
by on May. 7, 2014 at 9:50 AM

Birthday or not, what he did was wrong. My child would be ground through the birthday as well. Instead of going somewhere I would allow friends to my house only. That would be about as much of a freebie as they would get. 

Quoting Lokeimel:

Grounding him abt a month sounds perfect! No TV, electronics, friends, or basic phone but necessities. Only it's his birthday in 2 weeks should I give him a day off on that day? he wants to play at skate zone with 3 off his friends. I did schedule a meet up with the person whose phone he stole and he will be returning it him self. Also instead of buying him a birthday present, he will be offering the equivalence in cash to this person whose phone he stole. 



Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2014 at 11:05 AM
I wouldnt require him to pay the person unless he made
purchases on it or ran up minutes.

As long as you follow through on grounding and service to others it should he plenty.

His birthday is a hard one. I would probably allow the skating with a few friends but nothing excessive and no gifts of electronics something simple...maybe clothes.
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