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Boys and Porn Material

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 6:15 PM
  • 5 Replies
Does anyone have a problem with your son looking at porn or girlie magazines?  I have found the material in his room and he pulls well it's not mine stuff.  He's 12.  I know that no matter what he will find a way to look at it.  I'm not ready for him to grow up yet.  And I don't know whether to buy material for him to look at so that I know what he is looking at or keep it all away from him?  I'm at my wits in with this one. 
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 6:15 PM
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prdusmcmom
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 6:48 PM
Hi sweetie, like I've said before, this is my second time around in tweenville with boys.  Yes, Ive found my vicky secrets catalogs, fredricks of hollywood catalogs and even tags for my new bras in their stuff.  I found a couple of playboys and hustler mags with the older one and that upset me cause I felt he was too young (he was 15 with the p/b and hustler) but instead of ( I know I will get greif for my decision) throwing them out and forbidding him from looking at them, I sat him down and talked to him about why those women pose for that kind of stuff and how some in society feel about that stuff.  I also told him to respect my feelings and hide it better so I don't have to come across it.  My youngest is 12 and the v/s, foh. and bra tags are still in his room but I also sat him down and talked with him about that.  I know as boys that if I talk to them as adults and tell them the truth, I am showing respect towards their feelings, I understand what they are going throu and most importantly.....I don't embarrass them.  I want them to be able to come to me and talk to me about anythng.  Has it worked you're asking yourself......yes, I feel it has.  My boys and I talk about everything.  EVERYTHING.  No matter how hard or embarrassing it is for me. 

Respect his feelings, tell him how it makes you feel, and set some rules.  In the end...boys will be boys.  If you deny him this he WILL get even more graphic material from friends.  Hope this helps.  Oh, something I learned with the oldest...if they are masterbating it is a GREAT age to teach them to do their own laundry. 
LaBabiesMami
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 7:06 PM
I see where you are from with the mags. I am hoping not to have to deal with that for a long time. My oldest son is 3... ha ha ha.. so About 9 years from now. My oldest is 9. Or will be in 3 weeks. And female. I dont know if she is even into boys, but she has hinted that they are cute, or whatever. My husband is horrible with her and boys. He is not having it. I hope you find a solution.
jahassiii
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 11:49 PM

Quoting prdusmcmom:

Hi sweetie, like I've said before, this is my second time around in tweenville with boys.  Yes, Ive found my vicky secrets catalogs, fredricks of hollywood catalogs and even tags for my new bras in their stuff.  I found a couple of playboys and hustler mags with the older one and that upset me cause I felt he was too young (he was 15 with the p/b and hustler) but instead of ( I know I will get greif for my decision) throwing them out and forbidding him from looking at them, I sat him down and talked to him about why those women pose for that kind of stuff and how some in society feel about that stuff.  I also told him to respect my feelings and hide it better so I don't have to come across it.  My youngest is 12 and the v/s, foh. and bra tags are still in his room but I also sat him down and talked with him about that.  I know as boys that if I talk to them as adults and tell them the truth, I am showing respect towards their feelings, I understand what they are going throu and most importantly.....I don't embarrass them.  I want them to be able to come to me and talk to me about anythng.  Has it worked you're asking yourself......yes, I feel it has.  My boys and I talk about everything.  EVERYTHING.  No matter how hard or embarrassing it is for me. 

Respect his feelings, tell him how it makes you feel, and set some rules.  In the end...boys will be boys.  If you deny him this he WILL get even more graphic material from friends.  Hope this helps.  Oh, something I learned with the oldest...if they are masterbating it is a GREAT age to teach them to do their own laundry. 
That sounds like a great approach to the whole thing.....My opinion is this....this is the turning age not only with their bodies, but where they start to stop telling mom and dad everything, and any way to keep the lines of communication open is the best way to go!!!! 

Reading the original post makes me ask....where do the heck do these kids get this from?  In our house hubby doesn't have anything like that, and mom being a total tomboy doesn't get victoria secret catalogs or anything of that nature, and I buy new bras maybe once a year if I'm lucky!!!!  I know these boys have freinds and can be resourceful, but if I saw anything like that in my house the least of my concerns is the fact that my boys are looking at it.....I want to know there the heck they got it from!!!

kmccall76
by on Jul. 26, 2007 at 12:13 PM
I don't have boys...thank God.  I do have a brother, nephews,  and friends with boys though, so I think I know how they are.  Recently my friend caught her son looking at porn on the internet.  She discovered it through the history, she didn't catch him in the act.  (how embarrassing that would be!!)  Personally, I think boys are boys and they're going to look at this stuff.  Catching them looking at this stuff is a sure sign that they are normal...as far as our society is concerned.  IMHO, I think that if you shame them about sexuality, masturbation, etc that is when sexual perversions begin.  I could be wrong, but it's what I think.  I would just pretend like I have no idea they're looking at this stuff.  However, I would take this "secret knowledge" as a GREAT opportunitiy to talk to my kids about sex.  I would just say that they're at this age...blah blah blah.  It's also the right time to start instilling your values into the boys (no means no, natural women don't look like the air brushed women in mags,  condoms, and fantasy vs. reality)  I just don't see any point in shaming the kids...it's just our job to teach them right from wrong and looking at porn isn't all together wrong, especially at these curious ages. 
Someone asked where the kids get this stuff...here's my opinion on that:
my brother used to steal it from my uncle
and my husband told me that when he was young he found it in someone's trash and took it....he also stole some from the store.  I don't agree with using people's sloppy second mags or stealing...but these are some ways they get their hands on the stuff.    
cellabear
by on Jul. 27, 2007 at 12:29 AM
Thank you so much.  Glad to know I'm not the only one out there with the situation.  My son talks to my boyfriend more then he does me but my bf in turn talks to me about things. 
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