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11 year daughter with a mouth of a 17 year old HELP!!

Posted by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 3:08 PM
  • 6 Replies
Hello Moms:

I am at my wits end.....I love my daughter very very much as I'm sure you all love your kids.  But right now, I'm not sure who this kid is.  She is so opinionated.  She is very quick to call me on my shit. I recently remarried and although we have been with my husband 8 years, she still is rebellious.  She at times is very loving and other times I'm ready to sock her in the mouth.  I don't want to break her spirit but in the mean time she is really pushing the limit on my patients.  Last night I lost it.  I don't want to seem out of control with my emotions.  But this is insane.  She feels like she has the right to tell me what I'm doing wrong and question anything I tell her.  I don't know how to handle her challenging my authority. 

Please advise.
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-6):
123amber
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 4:03 PM
oh girl i feel you my 10 yr old daughter has a mouth that won t stop, nothing is ever good enough ,no one can even look at her without the big WHAT? im also about crazy ive got 3 girls and cant deal with this forever
                     i wish you luck,
                                                       amber
wendy1466
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 7:22 PM
My son was trying this and it was driving me crazy! He would want to correct me and tell me how I should do things and then he would want to argue about it! ARGHHHHH! This is what I do now. I started looking him straight in the eye and telling him "I'm sorry you feel that way when you are an adult you may do things differently, but I am doing _________ the way I choose to because I am an adult." If he continued trying to argue, I started telling him I argue ONLY at 10 o'clock. Why 10 o'clock? No idea the time sounded good to me. His first response was "What?" I explained and told him that since he wants to argue so often and arguing is not my favorite thing to do-- we can only argue once per day from now on and I will be happy and ready to argue at 10. The beauty of it is that I either confused him so much that he doesn't know what to think or by 10 o'clock he has forgotten what he wanted to argue about. I am actually missing a little arguing--lol. I got this idea from the love and logic parenting chapter on defusing arguing and know-it all kids. I hope it helps. It works for me.


Smookie
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 11:33 PM
I completely understand how you feel.  My 12 year old is nothing but rude and disrespectful.  I blame myself even though I'm told I shouldn't.  I've been too easy on her, especially since her dad and I split up, and I've created a monster.   It's a scary thing for sure.  I'm looking forward to all the advise anyone can share.  It's good to know I'm not alone.
BNB9606
by on Jul. 29, 2007 at 11:50 PM
My daughter has been stubborn and opinionated since she was born! However, I feel like since I have been a single mom I have alot slip.I also think we as parents are more lax in this generation of kids. I am at my wits end sometimes also. I take away privileges and send her to her room with no TV etc. I do not believe in alot of technology for kids so I make her earn her Internet use and also give her chores around the house. This seems to help a little, but any other advice would be nice also.

Another thing does anyone seem to have a child who is gets out of control and does know when to stop? If so advice on how I can get her to learn when enough is enough!!

Thanks
 
jerseygem
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 8:47 AM
 I think wendy, your second post has the right idea I know I'm going to try that 10:00 thing with my Daughter!!!She is 13 and when she is away from me she is so respectfull everyone says like her teachers and her friends but when she is around me she is like Dr. Jeckel and Ms.Hyde she is just imposible with her mouth! The Doctors has her as being Bi=poler and she takes meds but a lot of the times her meds doen't work and we even tryed to swich her meds and she will still make me crazy at times. And I know it must make you feel like your failing but I had parenting classes and books,theripist and nothing seems to work.I wish you Luck and hope you find the anser your looking for. Like I said I'm going to try the 10:00 Thing. sounds a little crazy but good,very good.
wendy1466
by on Jul. 30, 2007 at 8:58 AM
For jeseygem--I didn't believe the 10:00 thing would work either, but it does for us and it has been a blessing. It did take a few times of me repeating myself. (Any time you introduce something new, your child will test it.) I think it works for us because we don't argue in the heat of the moment and my son has time to think about it and realizes that he is being unreasonable. Hormones can drive a temper or a mouth. It also allows my son to save face. I don't tell him he is wrong (even though he usually is) and I validate that I will argue with him BUT only at a certain time. I hope it works for you! It has been a life saver for our household. I should say too that love and logic has a website and they have a 1-800 number that a real person answers soooo if you have questions call them or message me (I can only try to help as Justin is my oldest and I am figuring this out as I go--lol). Good Luck!
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