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10 yrs old....still mamas baby or now a big boy?????

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 8:39 AM
  • 10 Replies
My son Chase is my life ( they all are but he is the baby)  He makes me happy, he defends his mom. He is my buddy.  We still hang out and curl up on the couch to watch a movie. When he is scared watching movies he grabs my hand.  Chase makes me feel like a mom, very much needed.   But my husband says I am babying him.  I think he is very mature and independent but still likes to be taken care of.   Is my husband right??? 
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 8:39 AM
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MichelleMc
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 8:51 AM
Well I guess it depends. My friend has this problem & it is a hard thing for her son. He is too much a mammas boy & it is starting to effect his everyday life. My friend kind of states like you, It makes her feel like a needed mom so she continues with it.

There is nothing wrong with watching a movie together, or if he is scared he grabs your hand. But sometimes, they get so attached that they can't really function well without you. My friends son came to my house for a sleep over & had to go home because he had to know his mom was okay & he said he missed her too much to not be with her at night. He fights his brother if he thinks he does something that would make mom mad. He went to boy scout resident camp & cried in front of everyone 45 minutes after she left. We had others after the first night, but he was all week long non stop. He has to be with her he kept saying. He didn't care who heard him or seen him. Thankfully our boys weren't making fun of him, but some of the ones that cried in their tent at night were angry at him because of the way he was acting. The one had never been away from his mom, was close, but dealt. He cried a little, but got thru it. He really is up her butt pretty badly & everyone sees it but her. She just says they are just close. She has another child, younger, but though he loves her alot, he just isn't like that. So she attached to the other one more.

I guess you need to see how it is effecting other things in life. Plus, h is 10, so he is getting to the age where instead of curling up on the couch, maybe it is popcorn & seperate chairs, etc.
grammamom
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 10:18 AM
My son is 9, sorry, 9 1/2. He is my only child still at home. He is very much a mama's boy also. He does have sleep overs where he used to wake up in the morning and leave his friends house and come home. Even at gramma and grampa's house he is having a great time, but half way through the next day he is like, I want to go home. I try not to enable him by giving in so much, but it is hard. I just keep reminding him that he is 9 and he is a big boy and he can do this. He has come such a long way over the last year. Do not give up, but do not give in either. Your child will follow your example. Mom still loves you very much, but you are old enough to do this.     Peace and Luck
shelby856
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 3:35 PM
There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing! I have an 11 year old and almost 9 year old and both are major mama's boys, they too will want me to lay with them, hold them and will give me a kiss in public without even thinking twice about it! I think there is nothing wrong with being affectionate to your child, believe me the time will come when there will be a wife there to hold his hand and curl up on the couch with him, enjoy it while you can : )
2lilbearsmom
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 4:19 PM
my dh feels them same about our son, but Marcel is EXTREMELY emotional.  I can't help as a mother but baby a little boy who cries like a distraught 16 y/o girl when his world comes crashing down.   he still loves to hug me, but he kicks ass on the football field, can run a 3.1 m all the way through, and loves the REALLY violent video games as well as having a very morbid-boy sense of humor.  the only thing we have a problem with is how emotional he is, I'm hoping that it is just tween angst.
MichelleMc
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 7:41 PM
Just to make sure it isn't confused, My son still hugs & kisses me in public, We always say I love you before hubby or I leave him or hang up the phone. I see nothing wrong with that & think it is great.
MikkiB
by on Jul. 31, 2007 at 9:16 PM
James is my youngest and he was my baby but now I am needing him to grow up! He needs to get some independence! I need to let him go a little bit so that can happen, so we are stuck!I am know letting him go a little every day/week. But he just learned how to tie his shoes last yr when he begged me to teach him.... see what I've done? Hubby said I created the monster, and boy oh boy is he right. But James is MY last Baby!!!!
So time for me to let go....
momof3andhappy
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 8:57 AM
My almost 12 yr old son is both and there is nothing wrong with that!!! He is 100% independant and mature and 'grown" and yet at the same time, will walk by and give me hugs and kisses just b/c I am "mom". i would not have it any other way! He is getting to the point where he does not want to show too much affection towards me in front of "the guys" but is still such a loving and respectful young man. At this age, when some of my friends kids want nothing to do with them, I will take it!!!
MichelleMc
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 9:04 AM
I think where with my friend the difference is, and maybe I wasn't clear is, her son can't do anything without his mom. Friends are second to mom. He doesn't want to make new friends. He fights with his sibling if they dare come close to maybe saying something that might upset his mom. He can't be without her an hour without saying how he can't eat without her or be without her because he loves her. He will say he hates the only dad he knows, ( non birth dad but on the Birth Certificate ) because it would make her happy & he thinks makes them closer. If his sibling calls that guy dad ( and it is his dad ) he will say, You don't have to say that. ( Because it bugs mom, etc )

My son walks up & hugs me, kisses me or says Iove you. He can hang out with me, though I think cuddling is a little much at this age. Hugs, Kisses, Love yous are great. That doesn't make a "mammas boy" in what most people mean. I don't like that term because I know it has alot of negative to it.

My son & I are very close, I am involved in everything he does, I get him involved or make sure to be at everything I can be. But, He can go by himself, He can watch a movie sitting away from me, He can go hang out with his friends without calling to make sure I am okay. He goes on sleep overs without wondering what I am doing & hoping I am okay without him. I am not his best friend, I am his mom & we are close.

If your child can be independent without you. Can go to friends houses & hang out, can go to activities & is okay if you aren't there, can do things for themself & doesn't expect you to do them for them, then more than likely they are fine. :)
NNN
by on Aug. 1, 2007 at 1:57 PM
Nathan is the same way. One moment he is Mr. Tough "I Can Handle It!" and the next he's holding onto my arm and saying "mom-mom" and purring! He'll be 10 in October. Here he is having some Tim Horton's.



AAAMama
by on Aug. 6, 2007 at 12:00 PM
I think it's the wonder of being a tween - that's the whole thing - they're stuck between teen and younger child..... and sometimes they're a little of each...

My daughter is both sometimes.  Heck, sometimes the 20 yr old is - she's a tween in a 20 yr old body - lol



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