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11 year old caught watching porn.... HELP!!!

Posted by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 1:37 PM
  • 23 Replies

My youngest son was caught watching porn first on his computer about 3 months ago.  So we took his internet from his room.  Then we started getting charges on our charge card for porn sites about 4 weeks ago and I started getting porn in my CHURCH email out of all things.  We restricted him and took away his computer rights which he has not had for over 2 weeks now.  Then I find out yesterday that he got on my Iphone and was watching it. I asked him why he said its puberty... To top it off I'm a Asst. Pastor at Genesis Ministry Center in CT.. Sometime the hardest ones are Pastor's children.  I did read a bunch of post on this site and others about Porn and the bible and of course thats going to be my first step out from here out but was wondering if anyone else had this issue...

Thanks so much for all your help ...

 Romans 12 v 2  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 1:37 PM
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by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 1:42 PM

My eldest sons are 14 and younger son is 12.  About a year ago we found a porn DVD in their PS2 game system.  Where they got it?  I still don't know.  They said another boy gave it to them, but wouldn't name names.  Mine haven't gotten any porn on the computer since I threatened them with death if I find charges and also the computer is in the family room.

I know they are curious, but don't really know how to handle the porn issue.  When I was growing up, the closest thing we had were the National Geographic magazines in the school library!  It's a scary new world out there for teens.

Maybe have an older male talk to him about it (dad, brother, uncle, cousin)?  My husband talks to our boys pretty bluntly about all the boy things.  They probably don't open up to him about it as much, but our older son's soccer coach helps us with them also.  They are willing to tell him things they won't tell us.  Of course, the coach then tells us what's up.  We just don't let on that he told us.

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 1:46 PM

 I think this is a case of curiosity got the cat. Maybe see if there is a book you can get him that will explain the whole puberty and sex thing I would not make a big deal out of it though let him know that porn is not exceptable and that you do not want him watching it.  But maybe this would be the best time THE TALK. 

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 7:15 PM

Well first of all, don't panic!  Your son seems very curious and that can be typical of boys his age. Your son definitely seems ready for more information about puberty and growing up!  He is probably watching the porn because he is curious about sex and women's bodies.  I agree with another post that suggests you get a book or have an older male talk to him a bit. You may also benefit from taking a puberty class with your son to help open up communication between you two. Check out this website if that interests you at all.  Good luck and keep us posted...


The Talk Institute

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 7:40 PM

besides the family values talk, I'd get rid of all tech.  he just can't candle it right now.

by on Oct. 29, 2008 at 8:11 PM

  I always hate to be the one who posts something different from the other moms, but the fact that he is doing it every chance he gets suggests a much bigger problem. Is there a possibility he has been molested or pushed into watching these kinds of things by an older child? It sounds like you have a stable loving home. Maybe something happened while not under your supervision. Maybe some counseling would help.

Mom of Trise and Daiga.
by on Oct. 30, 2008 at 11:52 AM

We are expecting a boy anytime now, and when we got pregnant my DH and I talked about how he would handle the boys growing up/puberty issue (just a weird topic that came up out of the blue). Basically, from a mans perspective, the worst thing that can happen to a young boy is for his mom to find out he looks at porn and she freaks out about it. Why make him feel like a filthy heathen? when this is totally normal. My hubby plans on slipping a Playboy (nothing nasty like some porn mags) in our boys underwear drawer or something like that so its a secret between men, nothing to really talk about or make a big deal of. Just a normal "man" thing to have a porn mag. The more you freak out, the more he is going to be curious, but also feel nasty at the same time. Of course by now your boy has probably had the 5th grade "what is happening to my body" class at school and maybe even the 7th grade sex-ed in health, so more "talking" probably isn't necessary (or maybe a pamphlet or a simple chat with dad) but he need to feel secure in himself that he is normal and not a weirdo for looking and being curious.


Let us dance in the sun wearing wildflowers in our hair!
--Susan Polis Shutz


by on Oct. 30, 2008 at 12:25 PM

What I would do next would sort of depend on what kind of porn he is looking at.  If it is just pictures, I would take a completely different approach than if it were some hardcore sex acts.  I think that kids this age are naturally curious, but I think that the internet unfortunately allows access to things that our children simply aren't ready for at the age of 11.  I would definitely sit him down and talk to him about what he's seen.  I would also be afraid that seeing too much too soon would only lead to behavior that you don't want him involved in yet.  Like I said exactly what I'd discuss and how else I'd handle it would depend on how much he has seen.  Good luck.  I have an 11 y/o daughter and I'd be mortified.

by on Oct. 30, 2008 at 12:31 PM

Hey again.  I posted yesterday, then remembered something we told our boys.  My husband and I together and separately told them that we didn't want them to base all they know about sex on what they will see in porn videos.  I know they are curious, but it really worried me that they would think THAT is what all sex is like and about.  Don't know if they understood and accepted that...guess I won't know for years, but that is my biggest issue with them seeing porn.  I didn't freak out with mine, just told them I didn't think they were ready and that I didn't want them to continue to do that for the reasons listed above.

by on Oct. 31, 2008 at 10:33 AM

Bad mommy, very bad to hear. You are not watching where he goes on the internet. Plus you need to have a block on his internet connection as well. Our daughters computer is behind me. I know where she goes and what she is up to. She can get on IE7, but if caught on anything but G sites? She is done. Sounds like you have a problem that needs correcting and fast. I also want to warn you that by letting your son go to porn sites? You are setting yourself up for child endangerment felony charges. Yup, you heard right. Felony charges because you are not being responsible for your child's actions. Time to clean up his computer and make sure he has a child friendly internet connection as well. The Nanny is a good program to have. Good luck.

happy halloween

by on Nov. 4, 2008 at 10:54 PM

Yes I have had this issue. This past summer I was taking care of a friends daughter and she was good friends with my DD. Well one day the fiends spent the night and I had caught the girls looking at porn on the internet. It started out as them looking up "cover girl makeup" but sad to say the things that came up when they did that search was shocking. So ihad to tell the other girls parents ns then explain to my daughter that this is NOT how people really act when they are in love and that there are some very sick people in the world that need and want to watch such things...I am gladto say since then we have had not trouble. The other thing we did as parents was to talk with our pastor at church with our DD and she too explained that this is the devils handy work and that it is a sad world that we live in that such things are so easily gotten to. Both girls wrote a short essay as to what they had learned and explained what they thought about what they saw. Much to my surprise the girls were not curious about any fyrther than what they saw...thank heavens for small wonders. But that is what happen here. I dont knwo what I would have done had there been a second time...Take care and God Bless

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