11y o DD received inappropriate picture on cell phone....!!!

Replies:

• 
• by
  • ceajae
  on Dec. 30, 2008 at 3:07 PM

• 
  

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  Telling the parents ...

  "We have a picture of your son's penis on our cellphone, sent from him.. Do you want to take care of this issue or shall we show more poeple what your son's putting on display for the world"

  Quoting 5speedw:
  

  As far as his parents go, do everything you can to make them aware of what happened.  They need to know that their son has done this.  YOU need to initiate contact with them not take the boy's word on it.  They'll likely be defensive and not want to talk a lot about it, so keep it down to the fact that you just wanted to make sure they were aware of the situation.

  Good luck!

   

  Yep.. that should work! 
  

  

• 
• by
  • marajade32
  on Dec. 30, 2008 at 5:21 PM

•  The question is, did your daughter ask for the poicture to be sent and did she tell you about it right away after5 it happened?

• 
• by
  • Carebear_Hugs73
  on Dec. 30, 2008 at 5:48 PM

• I agree with what some of the others are saying here: don't punish your daughter..... even if she did ask him for the photo..... which I doubt because she did tell you about it.  If you punish her now for coming to you with the truth, she may never trust/confide in you again.  But do make sure that she understands how inappropriate this behavior is and that middle school is hard enough without the emotional constraints of the opposite sex and relationships! If you are fortunate enough to talk to the boy's parents, be careful because there's no telling their stance on things. They just might not care..... they just might be too involved in their own worlds and the boy is left to fend for himself and that's why he doesn't have any respect/discipline for himself and others.  Maybe if his parents are the bad seeds then you can talk to him about the inappropriateness and/or then get the school social worker and counselor involved..... not so much about the photo incident but just because there could be other problems in the boy's life that needs attention. Maybe this was his cry for help?! Maybe he has been sexually/emotionallly/physically abused?!  Maybe your daughter knows more about him and could fill in the blanks first..... or maybe she could talk to him first, maybe he'd confide in her?! Good luck! : )

• 
• by
  • Plethorarosie
  on Dec. 30, 2008 at 6:02 PM

•  Wow...things sure have progressed since I was a kid. 

  We had to actually go somewhere private, face to face, to play, "show me yours, I'll show you mine."   I'm not saying it was right, appropriate, or anything you should overlook, but I don't think calling the authorities is a good idea.  

   I agree with most of the moms on here that said a meeting is the right thing to do. Did you save the picture to your phone (so it doesn't get deleted, and the evidence is gone)?  Not only do they both need to learn about self respect, but he needs a lesson in respect for others. I, as a parent, would certainly want to know if my child were headed in a very dangerous direction. If they don't, well....then you did your part to try to help...not just your daughter, but him, also. If the parents are nonchalant about it, then I would notify the school about his actions so that they can monitor him more closely for any more behaviorial red flags. 

  I'm extremely proud of your daughter for letting you know..even if it may not have been right away (don't really know the point of that mom's statement), she decided to let you know. I really think that if she had a part in this, that she wouldn't have let you know about it. She certainly proved that she trusts you. I also don't know if you should keep them apart, but I would talk to them about things. I think that maybe welcoming him into your home will make him more aware that you are 'real', and are in your daughter's life to protect her. Maybe if he sees her as more of a family member, and not as a 'sexual being', he might naturally respect her. Does he have any sisters? Reminding him that he wouldn't like if if his sisters got a picture like that, might hit home also.

  Good luck..whatever you decide. Please update us!

• 
• by
  • snuglebuggie
  on Dec. 30, 2008 at 6:18 PM

• Thank you all for responding and giving your advice, it has helped alot and given me ideas.   To clarify a couple of things :

  My dd had already deleted the picture before we even found out.   We found out only because we were looking through her txt msgs and one of them was from the boy that said :

  
  " did you like my d___?"  We asked her what exactly was meant by that and she told us about it then.   So I have no proof of the picture just her word on it.   She did tell me that she was very uncomfortable that the picture was sent.  So we had a long talk about it.   We are very close and I hope we stay that way.   When I discussed this with her I NEVER yelled at her It was all calmly done.   Although, my dh had a hard time at first and then he calmed down ONLY when he spoke with her but expressed himself with me out loud!!!   Which I completely understand him wanting to squeeze the kids neck. 

  
  

  Anyway,  thanks again.

  Suzie
  

• 
• by
  • SNKMama
  on Dec. 30, 2008 at 6:28 PM

• Just a question, how old is the boy?
  

  ----------
  Twins: Brianna & Austin
  Born: 11/10/1996
  School: 6th Grade, Year before JR High!

• 
• by
  • snuglebuggie
  on Dec. 31, 2008 at 10:48 AM

• 
  

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  Just a question, how old is the boy?
  

  Not exactly sure but he's in 6th grade with my dd and she's 11.
  

• 
• by
  • jrdnjstn00
  on Dec. 31, 2008 at 11:00 AM

• Did you get to talk to the other parents yet?

  If you pay your cell bill online you can check to see who calls the phone and who is sending messages to the phone and who she is sending messages to. It won't show the message or pic but it does record the number and what day and time the message was sent or recieved and who called and who she called.
  

• 
• by
  • SNKMama
  on Dec. 31, 2008 at 1:39 PM

• Kinda scares me, this is the same age as my kids! I cant beleive a boy my sons age would be sending stuff like this.  *shudder*  The boy's probably not even hit puberty.  I could rationalize and understand more if the kid was at least a teenager.
  

  I'm so tempted to look through the sent messages on his phone right now.
  

  Quoting snuglebuggie:
  
  

  
  

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  Just a question, how old is the boy?
  

  Not exactly sure but he's in 6th grade with my dd and she's 11.
  

  
  

  ----------
  Twins: Brianna & Austin
  Born: 11/10/1996
  School: 6th Grade, Year before JR High!

• 
• by
  • dianah1
  on Dec. 31, 2008 at 3:28 PM

• There is no way that I would let her have contact with the boy again until I spoke with the boys parents.  I would aslo contact the school.  Our schools have policies aobut texting and what is sent.  As for the daughter, I would explain to her how inappropriate the material was.  She may not understand now and probably will be mad for awhile.  Don't give in just because she gets mad.  Give her time.  It's a hard age.  I remember just wanting to do stuff because my parents said no.  Keep the faith.

  God Bless,

  Diana
  

  Diana

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