11y o DD received inappropriate picture on cell phone....!!!

Replies:

• 
• by
  • Lorlou
  on Jan. 2, 2009 at 9:05 AM

• I too, am not going to comment on the sexual offender criteria.  My opinion is, however, if this child was 11, 12, or even 13...chances are it was a stupid, kid thing to do.  This could have even been a "dare" by a friend.  I believe a conversation with is parents and himself would resolve the issue!  If it doesn't, then  I would take the next step.

  I have a 13 y/o son and though I doubt he would ever do something like this, if he did, I would certainly hate to see him labeled as a sexual offender for life!  If a parent came to me and told me he did this, he would lose his cell phone, and land line priveleges along with the computer.  He would also be seeing a counselor to ensure it was just a "kid" thing to be doing!  I am also not sure what contacting the school would do?  If the parent is cooperative, they should be able to check their DS's cell phone and see who was impacted by this.  If it was only your dd then they problem has been discussed.  If it is more than your dd, the parents, if reasonable, will contact the parents of those other children.

  I guess whether or not I went past the parents would depend on the parents response to my "confrontation."  And by "confrontation" I in now way suggest that you are going to be mean or overbearing.

• 
• by
  • noahsmom22
  on Jan. 2, 2009 at 9:29 AM

• Okay first of all you can call me old fashion but i dont think an 11 year old needs a cell phone in the first place. There is no way in hell that I am going to pay for an 11 year old to talk and text with her friends. Second...if that happened to my kid, she would have gotten her ass whipped and I would look the kids phone number up the old fashion way...using the phone book..

  

• 
• by
  • Gini1125
  on Jan. 2, 2009 at 9:58 AM

• Well we are glad to see that you would risk your children with a potential SEX OFFENDER!! Who are you to talk about not knowing how to raise our children or needing our heads examined?  I think you better look at your own life before you cast stones on how we raise our kids, and another thing, our kids probably would not want your kids as friends... so do not worry about not wanting your kids around people like us. We protect ours and it sounds like you are not willing to. You want to think the world is all Roses and Sunshine, well wake up ALICE!! This is not Wonderland.

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  For one, we dont even know that it was done at school. If it wasnt, then why would we involve the school?  Uh.. Lets see..  My son didnt goto church, lets tell the school!  If it was on school grounds, It's still something that can FULLY be adequatly handed between the two parents.

  Secondly... I'm glad we have other parents out there who'd endanger other preteen children's futures over something like this. Those of you who'd do this to an 11-12yo need to have your heads examined and i'd definitly not want either of my children, boy or girl, around you or your children. You obviously dont know how to raise your children, if you require government agencies to help you handle a preteen boy.  That's pretty sad.

   

• 
• by
  • SNKMama
  on Jan. 2, 2009 at 10:22 AM

• I dont consider a 6th grader sending a picture of his penis a potential sex offender. Anyone that does is loony in the head.  It's parents such as yourself that spread unneccessary, undue paranoia and that raise their children to become haters of others, not lovers of others. It's not a good moral thing and people like you should be stopped.

  As for taking a look at my own life? Beleive me, I've taken a grand look at my life. MANY times. I have a pair of 12yo's who are respectful, honest, and trustworthy to others and to me. Most of all, my children know what forgiveness is and know that everyone can make a mistake, and children are prone to making GRAND mistakes.  I may not be able to buy them the best things in the world and I may not be the richest parent. I may survive from check to check but my children are always fed, always clothed, always happy and always safe. My children do not fear talking to me about personal issues, and they frequently do. My children take part in community service activities in giving to others, not taking from others. My children stand beside me when I make an exclaimation. What can you say about yours?
  

  Know how old I am? 29... I got pregnent when I was 16, I stayed in school and I graduated and got a job and supported my family with a deadbeat dad who's never acknolwedged and never paid a penny to these two awesome, beautiful children. The father was a 14 year old.
  

  Personally, I'm not a fan of the government raising my children as you are. I want control of my children, i do not want the government raising them or telling me how to raise them. If your only capable of raising your children by using the government as a crutch, then your a very poor parent indeed.

  If you hate men so much that you think this preteen child is such a monster, then your the one who needs therapy, and I'd suggest that you sign up for it pronto! The world isnt about hate. We've progressed past the point were women and blacks could not vote and no rights. We are equal and haters only drag us down.
  

  
  

  Quoting Gini1125:
  
  

  Well we are glad to see that you would risk your children with a potential SEX OFFENDER!! Who are you to talk about not knowing how to raise our children or needing our heads examined?  I think you better look at your own life before you cast stones on how we raise our kids, and another thing, our kids probably would not want your kids as friends... so do not worry about not wanting your kids around people like us. We protect ours and it sounds like you are not willing to. You want to think the world is all Roses and Sunshine, well wake up ALICE!! This is not Wonderland.

  
  

  ----------
  Twins: Brianna & Austin
  Born: 11/10/1996
  School: 6th Grade, Year before JR High!

• 
• by
  • Gini1125
  on Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:43 AM

• tell people like me about it when you have had a man STALK your 12 y.o dd like I have. I trust no-one and that is my right as a parent. Should I have just let it go and tell her to FORGIVE him? I do not think so. My children are honest, and respectful as well. Does that make you some sort of super mom? I live paycheck to paycheck also. Do not bring my kids into this bc I will tell you one thing, They always stand by me and they always will. I will not get into your crap, you want to fight and I will not lower myself to your standards. If I did do that then it would not be very nice. We all have opinions and yours only matters to you. If I am such a poor parent then why is it you haveing your two 12 year olds sharing a bed and they are of opposite gender? Did you know that the state looks down on that? At least mine have separate beds and their own rooms. I far from hate men, I am happily married and I have 4 kids. I can see why you dont want the government in your life. You took advantage of a 14 y.o at the age of 16 and you wonder why he was/is a deadbeat father???? Wake up. I hate no-one and neither do my children but you can definatly push someone to the point and just curious, is this why he stopped seeing you and bailed? I do not blame him. I would run to if it meant being free of you. Who cares that you are 29? I am 30. make a difference? not really.One day you will realize things are not always peaches and cream. I will not continue this with you, I have my opinion and you have yours, and all these other mothers have theirs. Its people like you who let the little perverts get a slap on the wrist and then they turn out doing worse bc they will get away with it. I hope you never have to go through what that mother did with her dd or what i went through with my dd. Maybe then you will see why people are the way they are. Take off your rose colored glasses and see thibg for what they really are. I pity you. You will probably have kids who grow up and go wild. I am a mother, i am not their friend. they come to me for anything but they know one thing... When I speak its like the freakin gospel and they do as they are asked and that is that. I have 3 sons and if they ever pulled that kind of crap they would be in some big trouble and they would have to face the consequences. i do not shield my children from things and most of my friends are on the sheriff dept. They know the rules and they know if they do something they should not then the law steps in and they are punished. Can you say that? Probably not.
  

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  I dont consider a 6th grader sending a picture of his penis a potential sex offender. Anyone that does is loony in the head.  It's parents such as yourself that spread unneccessary, undue paranoia and that raise their children to become haters of others, not lovers of others. It's not a good moral thing and people like you should be stopped.

  As for taking a look at my own life? Beleive me, I've taken a grand look at my life. MANY times. I have a pair of 12yo's who are respectful, honest, and trustworthy to others and to me. Most of all, my children know what forgiveness is and know that everyone can make a mistake, and children are prone to making GRAND mistakes.  I may not be able to buy them the best things in the world and I may not be the richest parent. I may survive from check to check but my children are always fed, always clothed, always happy and always safe. My children do not fear talking to me about personal issues, and they frequently do. My children take part in community service activities in giving to others, not taking from others. My children stand beside me when I make an exclaimation. What can you say about yours?

  Know how old I am? 29... I got pregnent when I was 16, I stayed in school and I graduated and got a job and supported my family with a deadbeat dad who's never acknolwedged and never paid a penny to these two awesome, beautiful children. The father was a 14 year old.

  Personally, I'm not a fan of the government raising my children as you are. I want control of my children, i do not want the government raising them or telling me how to raise them. If your only capable of raising your children by using the government as a crutch, then your a very poor parent indeed.

  If you hate men so much that you think this preteen child is such a monster, then your the one who needs therapy, and I'd suggest that you sign up for it pronto! The world isnt about hate. We've progressed past the point were women and blacks could not vote and no rights. We are equal and haters only drag us down.

   

  Quoting Gini1125:
  
  

  Well we are glad to see that you would risk your children with a potential SEX OFFENDER!! Who are you to talk about not knowing how to raise our children or needing our heads examined?  I think you better look at your own life before you cast stones on how we raise our kids, and another thing, our kids probably would not want your kids as friends... so do not worry about not wanting your kids around people like us. We protect ours and it sounds like you are not willing to. You want to think the world is all Roses and Sunshine, well wake up ALICE!! This is not Wonderland.

   

  
  

• 
• by
  • Bonnie72
  on Jan. 3, 2009 at 4:30 PM

• I would not consider a 12 year old a potential sex offender either...And in my opinion, Gini1125, this was a very low class response...There was no need to bring up yet again the fact that SNKMamma's children share a room...Who really cares, except those who are judgemental, busy bodies?

  Quoting Gini1125:
  
  

  tell people like me about it when you have had a man STALK your 12 y.o dd like I have. I trust no-one and that is my right as a parent. Should I have just let it go and tell her to FORGIVE him? I do not think so. My children are honest, and respectful as well. Does that make you some sort of super mom? I live paycheck to paycheck also. Do not bring my kids into this bc I will tell you one thing, They always stand by me and they always will. I will not get into your crap, you want to fight and I will not lower myself to your standards. If I did do that then it would not be very nice. We all have opinions and yours only matters to you. If I am such a poor parent then why is it you haveing your two 12 year olds sharing a bed and they are of opposite gender? Did you know that the state looks down on that? At least mine have separate beds and their own rooms. I far from hate men, I am happily married and I have 4 kids. I can see why you dont want the government in your life. You took advantage of a 14 y.o at the age of 16 and you wonder why he was/is a deadbeat father???? Wake up. I hate no-one and neither do my children but you can definatly push someone to the point and just curious, is this why he stopped seeing you and bailed? I do not blame him. I would run to if it meant being free of you. Who cares that you are 29? I am 30. make a difference? not really.One day you will realize things are not always peaches and cream. I will not continue this with you, I have my opinion and you have yours, and all these other mothers have theirs. Its people like you who let the little perverts get a slap on the wrist and then they turn out doing worse bc they will get away with it. I hope you never have to go through what that mother did with her dd or what i went through with my dd. Maybe then you will see why people are the way they are. Take off your rose colored glasses and see thibg for what they really are. I pity you. You will probably have kids who grow up and go wild. I am a mother, i am not their friend. they come to me for anything but they know one thing... When I speak its like the freakin gospel and they do as they are asked and that is that. I have 3 sons and if they ever pulled that kind of crap they would be in some big trouble and they would have to face the consequences. i do not shield my children from things and most of my friends are on the sheriff dept. They know the rules and they know if they do something they should not then the law steps in and they are punished. Can you say that? Probably not.

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  I dont consider a 6th grader sending a picture of his penis a potential sex offender. Anyone that does is loony in the head.  It's parents such as yourself that spread unneccessary, undue paranoia and that raise their children to become haters of others, not lovers of others. It's not a good moral thing and people like you should be stopped.

  As for taking a look at my own life? Beleive me, I've taken a grand look at my life. MANY times. I have a pair of 12yo's who are respectful, honest, and trustworthy to others and to me. Most of all, my children know what forgiveness is and know that everyone can make a mistake, and children are prone to making GRAND mistakes.  I may not be able to buy them the best things in the world and I may not be the richest parent. I may survive from check to check but my children are always fed, always clothed, always happy and always safe. My children do not fear talking to me about personal issues, and they frequently do. My children take part in community service activities in giving to others, not taking from others. My children stand beside me when I make an exclaimation. What can you say about yours?

  Know how old I am? 29... I got pregnent when I was 16, I stayed in school and I graduated and got a job and supported my family with a deadbeat dad who's never acknolwedged and never paid a penny to these two awesome, beautiful children. The father was a 14 year old.

  Personally, I'm not a fan of the government raising my children as you are. I want control of my children, i do not want the government raising them or telling me how to raise them. If your only capable of raising your children by using the government as a crutch, then your a very poor parent indeed.

  If you hate men so much that you think this preteen child is such a monster, then your the one who needs therapy, and I'd suggest that you sign up for it pronto! The world isnt about hate. We've progressed past the point were women and blacks could not vote and no rights. We are equal and haters only drag us down.

   

  Quoting Gini1125:
  
  

  Well we are glad to see that you would risk your children with a potential SEX OFFENDER!! Who are you to talk about not knowing how to raise our children or needing our heads examined?  I think you better look at your own life before you cast stones on how we raise our kids, and another thing, our kids probably would not want your kids as friends... so do not worry about not wanting your kids around people like us. We protect ours and it sounds like you are not willing to. You want to think the world is all Roses and Sunshine, well wake up ALICE!! This is not Wonderland.

   

   

   

• 
• by
  • gallwina
  on Jan. 4, 2009 at 12:50 PM

• I have to agree with you here...

  To bash a Mom because she HAD (read a post about her kids getting new beds) her kids sharing a bed is just bad form. What did my In-laws do when they were growing up? They lived in a 2 room house with 9 kids and both parents (OMG they were in the same room when their parents had sex)!! It was never considered to be something to be looked down upon.

  IMO this 12yo may or may not be a sex offender in the future... HELL what would you do if yours was?? And don't give me the BS story of "My kids would never do anything like that" YEAH... that's what the parents of the 2 boys that molested me said (they were 11)... It is something in the brain that needs to be addressed, and needs to find out why he is doing that.

  And for some parents that think their 11yo shouldn't have a phone may not think that some kids need to... I bought my 10yo a prepaid cell phone for Christmas so that he can contact us when he is playing with his friends, to check in.

  Quoting Bonnie72:
  
  

  I would not consider a 12 year old a potential sex offender either...And in my opinion, Gini1125, this was a very low class response...There was no need to bring up yet again the fact that SNKMamma's children share a room...Who really cares, except those who are judgemental, busy bodies?

  Quoting Gini1125:
  
  

  tell people like me about it when you have had a man STALK your 12 y.o dd like I have. I trust no-one and that is my right as a parent. Should I have just let it go and tell her to FORGIVE him? I do not think so. My children are honest, and respectful as well. Does that make you some sort of super mom? I live paycheck to paycheck also. Do not bring my kids into this bc I will tell you one thing, They always stand by me and they always will. I will not get into your crap, you want to fight and I will not lower myself to your standards. If I did do that then it would not be very nice. We all have opinions and yours only matters to you. If I am such a poor parent then why is it you haveing your two 12 year olds sharing a bed and they are of opposite gender? Did you know that the state looks down on that? At least mine have separate beds and their own rooms. I far from hate men, I am happily married and I have 4 kids. I can see why you dont want the government in your life. You took advantage of a 14 y.o at the age of 16 and you wonder why he was/is a deadbeat father???? Wake up. I hate no-one and neither do my children but you can definatly push someone to the point and just curious, is this why he stopped seeing you and bailed? I do not blame him. I would run to if it meant being free of you. Who cares that you are 29? I am 30. make a difference? not really.One day you will realize things are not always peaches and cream. I will not continue this with you, I have my opinion and you have yours, and all these other mothers have theirs. Its people like you who let the little perverts get a slap on the wrist and then they turn out doing worse bc they will get away with it. I hope you never have to go through what that mother did with her dd or what i went through with my dd. Maybe then you will see why people are the way they are. Take off your rose colored glasses and see thibg for what they really are. I pity you. You will probably have kids who grow up and go wild. I am a mother, i am not their friend. they come to me for anything but they know one thing... When I speak its like the freakin gospel and they do as they are asked and that is that. I have 3 sons and if they ever pulled that kind of crap they would be in some big trouble and they would have to face the consequences. i do not shield my children from things and most of my friends are on the sheriff dept. They know the rules and they know if they do something they should not then the law steps in and they are punished. Can you say that? Probably not.

  Quoting SNKMama:
  
  

  I dont consider a 6th grader sending a picture of his penis a potential sex offender. Anyone that does is loony in the head.  It's parents such as yourself that spread unneccessary, undue paranoia and that raise their children to become haters of others, not lovers of others. It's not a good moral thing and people like you should be stopped.

  As for taking a look at my own life? Beleive me, I've taken a grand look at my life. MANY times. I have a pair of 12yo's who are respectful, honest, and trustworthy to others and to me. Most of all, my children know what forgiveness is and know that everyone can make a mistake, and children are prone to making GRAND mistakes.  I may not be able to buy them the best things in the world and I may not be the richest parent. I may survive from check to check but my children are always fed, always clothed, always happy and always safe. My children do not fear talking to me about personal issues, and they frequently do. My children take part in community service activities in giving to others, not taking from others. My children stand beside me when I make an exclaimation. What can you say about yours?

  Know how old I am? 29... I got pregnent when I was 16, I stayed in school and I graduated and got a job and supported my family with a deadbeat dad who's never acknolwedged and never paid a penny to these two awesome, beautiful children. The father was a 14 year old.

  Personally, I'm not a fan of the government raising my children as you are. I want control of my children, i do not want the government raising them or telling me how to raise them. If your only capable of raising your children by using the government as a crutch, then your a very poor parent indeed.

  If you hate men so much that you think this preteen child is such a monster, then your the one who needs therapy, and I'd suggest that you sign up for it pronto! The world isnt about hate. We've progressed past the point were women and blacks could not vote and no rights. We are equal and haters only drag us down.

   

  Quoting Gini1125:
  
  

  Well we are glad to see that you would risk your children with a potential SEX OFFENDER!! Who are you to talk about not knowing how to raise our children or needing our heads examined?  I think you better look at your own life before you cast stones on how we raise our kids, and another thing, our kids probably would not want your kids as friends... so do not worry about not wanting your kids around people like us. We protect ours and it sounds like you are not willing to. You want to think the world is all Roses and Sunshine, well wake up ALICE!! This is not Wonderland.

   

   

   

   

• 
• by
  • Somebody_Loved
  on Jan. 4, 2009 at 11:11 PM

• First and for most the phone needs to be taken away, and for a LONG time!! Does she know wher ehe lives? I would call and harrass that little boy until he put his mom on the phone. You KNOW he did not tell his mom anything!! I would cut off home phone time for a month or so as well, no contact with this boy anymore. And have you found out what SHE has been sending pics of to HIM because you know he didnt just randomely send that to her....

• 
• by
  • Somebody_Loved
  on Jan. 4, 2009 at 11:21 PM

• Also...are you sure she is still a virgin and hasn't already had sex with him? I didn't read through all the posts on here, someare WAY off the deep end and I didn't feel like reading it all, so this might have already been discussed.....but I remember being 11 ,and this wasn't behaviour going on....but time shave changed and kids have sex in elementary school now. Please take her phone away!!

• 
• by
  • sneffy014
  on Jan. 4, 2009 at 11:26 PM

• 
  

  Quoting Lorlou:
  
  

  I too, am not going to comment on the sexual offender criteria.  My opinion is, however, if this child was 11, 12, or even 13...chances are it was a stupid, kid thing to do.  This could have even been a "dare" by a friend.  I believe a conversation with is parents and himself would resolve the issue!  If it doesn't, then  I would take the next step.

  I have a 13 y/o son and though I doubt he would ever do something like this, if he did, I would certainly hate to see him labeled as a sexual offender for life!  If a parent came to me and told me he did this, he would lose his cell phone, and land line priveleges along with the computer.  He would also be seeing a counselor to ensure it was just a "kid" thing to be doing!  I am also not sure what contacting the school would do?  If the parent is cooperative, they should be able to check their DS's cell phone and see who was impacted by this.  If it was only your dd then they problem has been discussed.  If it is more than your dd, the parents, if reasonable, will contact the parents of those other children.

  I guess whether or not I went past the parents would depend on the parents response to my "confrontation."  And by "confrontation" I in now way suggest that you are going to be mean or overbearing.

  Very well put, these are my thoughts exactly.
  

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