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Opposite Gender Over for "playdate" at age 12?

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:08 PM
  • 27 Replies
My 12 year old DD wants to invite an 11 year old boy over for a playdate. She admits they "like" each other, but they decided to just be friends until they were old enough to date. I the meantime, she wants to invite him over and is all excited at the prospect. What's appropriate for this age range?
Mama Red Eagle
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom2Kelsey
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:10 PM

"playdate" at age 12 .....humm... I think its fair to allow her to have friends over as long as they are being watched..although I dont think at the age of 12 its called a playdate is it?? lol I dunno I dont have any this age but Good Luck

bratmom3
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:12 PM

invite him over. sounds like she's truthful and responsible so make some snacks, turn on the tv or radio or whatever and let them visit. no harm in that!  if it's going well ask him to stay for supper. make sure you have a chat with his mom (who knows she might be anxious about it as well) ... you're lucky that she wants to have him over, some kids are totally embarrassed about their parents!!

shervert1
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:12 PM

when I was 12 my mom let me sleepover at my best friends houses and they were boys,of course they all ended up being gay and I think my mother knew that! lol A playdate isnt a bad idea I didnt have many girlfriends when I was young and preferred the company of the boys and trust me no funny stuff went on! Just keep an eye on them if it makes you feel better.

    
My4LuvBugs07
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:13 PM

I don't know -- since you said they actually "like" each other...I'm not ready for my daughter to "like" people.  LOL  Anyway, maybe you could talk with the boy's mom and ask her before saying yes or no.  You could assure the mom that you would keep a close eye on them and they wouldn't be left alone...that sort of thing.

We have a very close friend who's daughter always came over to play with our 3 boys all the time.  Now she is 12 and our friend is hesistant about letting her come over because she doesn't want to set a bad habit for her daughter.  Even though we love her like our own daughter and would never let anything happen to her, our friend doesn't feel comfortable letting her hang out with a bunch of boys.  I think she wants her to get out of the tom boy phase and start hanging out with more girls her own age.  However, this sounds like a very different situation that your's.

Again, I'd talk to the mom and see if you guys can make some type of agreement.  The dating thing WILL happen eventually, I suppose, huh? :0)  Good luck to you.

surobb
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:20 PM

Nothing wrong with the kids going over to each other's houses for a visit, but "playdate" sounds like an odd way to describe it at that age.

KimmyPoo
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 8:57 PM

I say go for it... My son has his g/f over sometimes BUT they aare where I can see them... NEVER where I cant....

semazani
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 9:17 PM

I see no problem with a boy coming over the play with a girl....I agree playdate is an odd term for this age.

If you are uncomfortable, then just institute an open door policy for whatever room they are in.

Rebecca...wife of Megan...Moms of six crazy kiddos...Seth (13), Madison (12), Zachary (10), Trevor (10), Alex (9), and Nicholas (7).

Familytyme
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 11:26 AM


Quoting bratmom3:

invite him over. sounds like she's truthful and responsible so make some snacks, turn on the tv or radio or whatever and let them visit. no harm in that!  if it's going well ask him to stay for supper. make sure you have a chat with his mom (who knows she might be anxious about it as well) ... you're lucky that she wants to have him over, some kids are totally embarrassed about their parents!!


I agree with bratmom3, it sounds like your DD is very open and honest with you, beside it would be a great way to get to know her friend!

AriRedEagle
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 11:33 AM
"Playdate" is just the term we parents use in my social circle to describe when our kids get together for fun outside of school. My poor children hardly have playdates because we are all so busy, but usually they are girl with girl; just friends. It has nothing to do with dating...
Jovaiel
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 11:36 AM

It should be perfectly acceptable for boys and girls to interact. The closer they get to teenage, of course, the more rules apply - like not disappearing into a bedroom with the doors closed, no fondling or making out, etc.

Be happy that your daughter is comfortable inviting her friend to your home where you can chaperon. Personally, I would go to the effort to make it a comfortable, pleasant experience. Provide snacks, be welcoming, get to know the boy and find ways to sincerely compliment him. Give him a fair chance. Give your daughter a chance to know him as a friend. If, when they are older, their relationship blooms into something more you'll appreciate having had this opportunity.

 

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