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Tween Titans Tween Titans

inappropriate teenage girls!! (graphic...sorry)

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 8:44 AM
  • 64 Replies

What in the world is going on with the little girls today?!?!?  My dd is in her 1st year of middle school.  She is very popular and has branched out making friends in 6th, 7th & 8th grades this year, mostly through sports.  My dd has always been pretty innocent & naive(SP?).,  I am the type of mom that stays involved with everything in her life.  I read her text messages, check everything on the computer etc.  She comes to me with almost every problem and drama thats happening.  It seems lately that I spend everyday & night obsessing over it all!!  In the past I had heard of stories of innapropriate behavior mostly from what I call the "dirty girls".  Now it seems to have become the "norm".  There is a 13 yr old girl who is pregnant!!  She is a very popular, clean girl from a good family!!  This is making me sick!!  The language I hear & read from these girls is astonishing!!  I am going to repeat some of the language i've seen from these girls.... 

written by a 13 yr old, pretty little girl....

"blow jobs are my breakfast of choice.  They come with a sausage, 2 nuts and a protein shot.  Stay healthy--suck a dick"

OMG!!!  Have you ever heard anything so disturbing coming from a little girl's mouth?!?!?!  I have learned which girls to keep my baby girl away from, but there is only so much I can do.  I cannot control what she hears at school and after school at sports.  I try my hardest to teach my ds morals and she is a pretty good girl so far, but I don't know what will happen when the other girls make this way of trashiness become "the norm".  Please help!

by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 8:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ShellezCrazy3
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 9:12 AM

OMG, I'm so dreading the transition to Jr High next year.  My dd12 is very naive, and I have been shocked at some of the things she has asked me recently.

She asked me the other day what a "dick" is?  I was like ummmmm........and my dh announced from the other room "same thing as a penis".  Her eyes bugged out, and she laughed.  I said "who said that word?"  curious if she would tell me anymore........and she announced some boy on the bus told her to suck his dick. 

Thankfully she was like "ewwwwwwwwww, why would I want to lick that, grooooosssssssssss"!  I didn't even try to explain any of that, I just told her that it was inappropriate for him to say things like that. 

We just have to remember to keep the open line with our dd's.  And your not alone, omg the girl drama.  And I think stressing over family issues, and bills are terrible, until I hear some of their problems *giggling*!

medicmamap8226
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 9:19 AM

I have chest pain..holy crap. Home school is looking so good right now. Oh Lord please protect our babies. If I saw a prego girl around my baby I would need 911!

happysahmmom
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 9:33 AM
That just made me sick to my stomach. My DD is going into middle school next year. She is also very naive, and it scares me to death..I agree with the OP about home schooling looking like a wonderful thing!!


bleumonster
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 9:40 AM

Either HS or private religious school lol. I too dread next year when my DD goes into 6th. I wish 6th was still elementary.

Kim  

semazani
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 10:17 AM

I would caution the 'little girls' mindset.  If you sit and think about it, you would realize these girls are halfway/more than halfway to the age of adulthood.  Yes, they have a lot to learn and they are far from the maturity level they will eventually reach, but they are not little anymore.  They are growing up.

I have to say...I see no reason for a child to have a cell phone to text with at that age.  The language in the text doesn't necessarily surprise me.  Our daughter is 12 and in 6th grade.  She hears things at school, but the friends she hangs out with primarily do not use the inappropriate stuff. 

We have two in junior high (four next year!) this year and both of them picked up swearing at school when they entered 6th grade.  It was something they did not do around us, but they did do at school.  It was a phase of experimentation.  We told them why it was not advisable and then let it be.  We can't stop them from testing the waters and we would really prefer they test them while they are still home to be caught by us.  They are trying to find where they fit and they are going to do/say things that we don't agree with just to see if it works for them.  It's all about branching out from us and learning who they are and what they stand for. 

As far as what texts are coming through or what she is hearing at school...you are correct, that can't be stopped.  You have to trust that the foundation you have built with your daughter guides her and helps her make the right choice.  She will be tested mulitple times through the years and she will make mistakes.  Just be there to catch her when she falls and try to see her perspective for her reasons for why she made the choice she did.  You can't choose her friends and you can't dictate who she hangs out with...she needs to choose those things.  The text you quoted is very much a spam type text that is sent to multiple people and I highly doubt that she came up with the comment all on her own.  I have seen the same text from other people.

"Good clean homes" don't equal good environment at home.  A thirteen year who is pregnant screams of issues at home....

Honestly, if your daughter does not want text like the one sent, then she needs to tell her friends that she does not appreciate them and to refrain from sending them to her.  If she chooses not to inform her friends of what she feels is over the line, then she will have to contend with the things that are sent.  She needs to be the one to let these girls know if she does not want the messages sent to her.

 

 

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semazani
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 10:24 AM


Quoting ShellezCrazy3:

OMG, I'm so dreading the transition to Jr High next year.  My dd12 is very naive, and I have been shocked at some of the things she has asked me recently.

She asked me the other day what a "dick" is?  I was like ummmmm........and my dh announced from the other room "same thing as a penis".  Her eyes bugged out, and she laughed.  I said "who said that word?"  curious if she would tell me anymore........and she announced some boy on the bus told her to suck his dick. 

Thankfully she was like "ewwwwwwwwww, why would I want to lick that, grooooosssssssssss"!  I didn't even try to explain any of that, I just told her that it was inappropriate for him to say things like that. 

We just have to remember to keep the open line with our dd's.  And your not alone, omg the girl drama.  And I think stressing over family issues, and bills are terrible, until I hear some of their problems *giggling*!

I agree completely with the open communication lines.

I think you missed a really good opportunity to talk with your daughter and to explain the whole notion of a blow job to her.  I agree it isn't the topic that parents want to sit down and talk about, but it is vital that you teach her and not her friends.  She will hear all kids of things and they need to be explained.  One thing that is important to remember is, while we may not want to talk to kids about these things, it is important to seize the moment when it is presented.

We are very open with our kids and take all the opportunities we can to explain terms to them. 
We have six kids who are 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, and 7.  The younger kids are hearing things they may not heard othewise and the older kids have pointed out (on more than one occasion) that some things have double meanings.  We use these are learning time for everyone.  The younger kids can have an explanation on the things they hear and the older ones can learn they need to watch their words around the younger kids because they aren't at the same level as they are.

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http://www.cafemom.com/group/hodgepodgeparenting



 


 

semazani
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 10:29 AM


Quoting bleumonster:

Either HS or private religious school lol. I too dread next year when my DD goes into 6th. I wish 6th was still elementary.


Umm....religious schools are just as bad as public schools.  The kids in religious schools have just learned how to put on their "church face" for the adults or have been moved to the religious school b/c their parents moved them from public schools where they were either failing/having discipline issues/etc. 

Not all kids are inappropriate in religious schools, just as not all kids are inappropriate in public schools.

Looking for an all encompassing group?


http://www.cafemom.com/group/hodgepodgeparenting



 


 

jjamom
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 11:01 AM

OMG, that was disgusting!  My DD is 11 and started Middle school this year.  We were lucky enough to get her into a charter school which is small (limited enrollment).  I'm sure that doesn't completely shield her, but I think it helps.  This is sickening that this is happening so early with our kids.  I don't understand how or why it is that they think they are so grown up at this age.  We need to figure out a way to turn this around!  I try to protect my DD and keep her innocent, but I'm sure she hears much more than I know about in ways that I can't control.  Lately she tells me I am smothering, but I don't care, it's my job!

 

down-syndrome-awareness-graphic.png 

ceajae
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 11:03 AM

I am agahst that this is how kids talk.. I know its true.. I have heard it too! SO much for kids being kids right..

I am the kinda mom that would take that text and find the kid and show it to mom.. needless to say, my daughter doesn't recieve many of those texts.  It hasn't hurt her social life.  But it has given her a strong perspective of acceptable 12-14 year old behavior and stuff that kids need grounded for.

There is a girl in her class that is pregnant.. She is a smart nice girl.. She made a bad choice and is going to pay a terrible price for it.. seriously.. labor for 13 year old girl.I barely withstood it at 24. I pity her.  My daughter tries to smile and talk to her but she is so sad.. she doesn't talk to anyone anymore.. We need to draw a line and make it immovable.. this anything goes mentality is hurting our kids not freeing them.

tikigoddess
by on Mar. 10, 2009 at 11:30 AM

My 6 and 9 year old girls say things that I think I talked about in High School.  Although the terminology is still child-like (I'm going to hit him in the pee-pee) the meaning is still there. 

All I can do is tell them what is appropriate and not, keep the lines of communication open, and hope to god that they don't get in trouble! 

I'm so willing to talk to them anytime, but I don't know if they really take me up on it. 

"Just because you're not a perfect mom is no excuse not to try"

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