Fighting Siblings

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• by
  • MomOf2sillyboys
  on Nov. 9, 2009 at 7:11 AM

•  I go thru the same thing with my 2 boys. Ages 12 and 10. My 10 yr old is Mentally Challenged, which makes it worse.  My boys see time out very often, either in their rooms or on the wall. It works for a short time, than they are back to fighting again. The only time they don't fight is if they are not at home together or if they are playing with friends. I'm at my wits end too.

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• by
  • mommydearest31
  on Nov. 9, 2009 at 4:26 PM

• I grew up in a house with 3 sisters and 7 brothers - so can you imagine what my mother use to go through?  OMG - its amazing she didn't go crazy because someone was fighting all the time.  Trust me, they will grow out of it!  We did.  Our mother use to make us hug up and kiss, separate us, tell us we were not allowed to speak to each other - she tried everything - nothing worked, we continued to fight until we got older.  It probably will last through high school  and then once they start their own lives - it will go away.  Sad thing though - you guys still have some ways to go before there is peace in the house again.

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• by
  • chocolatethundr
  on Nov. 10, 2009 at 12:32 PM

• I think this is something that happens often with siblings.  Us as parents have to take a deep breathe and just  continue to tell the kids to speak to each other with the respect that they know they should display toward a loved one.  I always ( and I mean always) have to remind my girls (12 and 11), they don't talk to their friends like that and that they don't want someone to speak to them in that manner.  I also asked them how they would like to be treated or spoken to.  So when they give you the blank  stare, I always give them a physical example either by talking crazy like did or ask them what they would do if I did something to them if I were a another school mate. I know it sounds text bookish, but it makes them stop to think if only for that moment but it also put them in practice of thinking before they react.  It does not work all the time but I don't have to blow  my whistle as much any more.

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• by
  • Momt24
  on Nov. 10, 2009 at 4:11 PM

• Mine do this as well. They are 10 and 6 and actually my 3 year old even gets involved. I really want to get this under control before the new baby gets here. I have been grounding mine to each other. They are not aloud on the computer unless they are playing one game that I have designated for them to play and they have to be doing it together. They aren't aloud to talk to any friends during the grounding. They aren't aloud to spend time by theirselves in their room. This has made for a peaceful time so far. For the last 3 days they have played so well together. They still will get their smart mouths with each other at times and they get a seperate correction for that but overall it's going ok. It took about a week before they realized I was serious. They also know that it doesn't come off just by one day of good behavior.

  I have a friend that has grown children that fought all the time when they were little. She put them in the same room, same bed and everything and they were only aloud to do things with each other. They are best friends now.
  

  
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• 
• by
  • CyndiHj
  on Nov. 11, 2009 at 1:32 PM

• Our 12 year old son and 7 year old daughter fight as well. Our 12 year old also lies to cover up his actions or say, "Calling her a failure was an accident". That was yesterday's excuse to us for calling his sister a failure. What we usually do is take away priveleges for 3 days. What we came up with last night is this: when our son is mean to his sister, he will now have to bake her a cake, and make her a handwritten card apologizing to her (along with verbally apologizing). He will have to decorate the cake and card as well. We haven't tried it yet, so we'll see how it works out! We are frustrated, too, and also looking for advice! 
  

  
  

• 
• by
  • neicie136
  on Nov. 12, 2009 at 10:54 AM

• I'm convinced that my 11 yr old and 9 yr old were put on the earth to torture each other.  They are constantly antagonizing each other, trying to provoke a fight to get each other in trouble.  If that happens,  I punish them both:  one for starting a fight and the other for falling for it. My favorite punishment is to have them sit hip to hip on the sofa, no talking, no tv, mp3, books, toys...etc,...   They sit like this for a half hour,  if they fight during that time, I add 15 minutes.  They have actually sat there for two hours at a time.  They haven't figured out that if they just shut up and stop,  the punishment would be so much easier.  I have tried yelling, grounding, restriction,  everything and nothing works.  I like my new creative punishment.....and THEY HATE IT!  I have an older sister and this is what my grandmother did to us.  It took us a while,  but we got it eventually.  Good luck

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• by
  • alwaysunsure
  on Nov. 12, 2009 at 1:51 PM

• Sorry, I wish I had some advice for you, because God knows I would have some of my own to take if I did. I have a 12 yr old daughter and a 10 yr old son and one's in Jr high while the other is in elementary. I thought since they were at seperate schools and didn't see each other all day things would go more smoothly in the evenings then the summer when they saw each other ALL DAY LONG. But no way. They act like they HATE each other from the moment they see each other after school. The girl says she can't stand the sound of the boys voice so he just keeps talking. Not that he should have to shut up. But it goes on and on and on.

  Good luck to you, hope you get the advice you're looking for (so maybe I can borrow it). Sounds like most of us here need it.

   - alwaysunsure
  

• 
• by
  • alwaysunsure
  on Nov. 12, 2009 at 2:02 PM

• 
  

  Quoting Luvof2angels:
  
  

  I wish I could help but I am having the same problems with my DDs. One is 13 and the other is 10 and lately the fighting and arguing has got violent with hitting and kicking. I am not mom anymore I am the referee! that no one listens too!

  That's funny! I say that all the time "I'm tired of playing referee"

  LOL
  

   - alwaysunsure
  

• 
• by
  • alwaysunsure
  on Nov. 12, 2009 at 2:09 PM

• Sorry I love this topic. Only advice for a band aid on car trips: One sits in the back and one sits up front with me. This was not an arguement for a long time, straight out the oldest sat shotgun but now the younger one is fighting for the spot. I was actually online trying to look up the official law on it to see if he even has an arguement or if the fire can be put out before it starts.

  
  

  I do like all the advice about making them stay together as a punishment. I hadn't thought of that. I always just wanted to get them as far away from each other as possible. I'm gonna try this option today!
  

   - alwaysunsure
  

• 
• by
  • 919mom
  on Nov. 14, 2009 at 10:31 AM

• I have learned alot from all of your replies and probably the most comforting is that  I am not they only one with fighting siblings.  There have been alot of great ideas which I plan to implement.  Thanks for all your support ladies!

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