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Need input for my mom

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2010 at 5:26 PM
  • 3 Replies

Hello, I hope you guys don't mind me posting. I am 33 with three kids, 7 and 3 year old twins.. I'm asking a question for my mom. 

My mom is 52. I have a 27 year old brother who is living at her house. Now, the dilemma..My brother is *very* disrespectful to her. He talks to her in a HORRIBLE manner and is very rude to her. He expects her to buy him things and gets mad when she buys things for herself (as in, why didn't she get anything for him?) He doesn't pay rent but pays his boyfriend's bills (he's gay). He also smokes pot in the house. 

I know that I've never been in the situation, but it just makes me so angry that he treats her terribly while she lets him live at her house..

Has anyone been in similar situation?? Any advice for her? 





by on Apr. 9, 2010 at 5:26 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Jesusfollowe918
by on Apr. 10, 2010 at 2:08 PM

Your Mom is an enabler. I know because I do the same thing with my daugher and her family. I am learning to not give all the time. First she needs to recognize that she has a problem. Then she can start moving forward by setting some dates...to continue staying in her home he must get a job, then set a date as to when he must move out, insist no more drugs in her house (this will make him move quicker than anything),  and insist that there will be no more disrespectful tones, comments or actions against her. If she will start setting groundrules, and it is hard/tough, he will move out. It isn't easy, but the sooner she starts, the sooner she will get her home back. He an adult at age 27, needs to be treated like one. Good luck to her. Will say a prayer.

nena4jeff
by on Apr. 11, 2010 at 11:51 AM

I agree that ground rules & deadlines are a must. My son (27) is now back living with us since "seperating" from the Air Force, he's still in the Reserves.  He lost his job and qualifyies for unemployment but hasn't started collecting yet. He has deadlines to get a job and move out. We still have issues b/c he's in our business all the time. Your mom needs to be strong, remind her that she's not a bad mom for doing that. She is also in my prayers.

MamaCeleste0722
by on Apr. 12, 2010 at 3:48 PM

Thanks everyone. I've told her that before, but what do I know LOL I know it must be easier said than done but it just infuriates me how he treats her and doesn't contribute anything (although he does have a stable job) 

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