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Rude adult children

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2010 at 5:04 PM
  • 13 Replies

I decided to found a group so I can see if my sons are the only rude children around.

It seems the only time they can pick up the phone and call is when they need something.  One has moved to TX and wants me to pick up some money that is owed to him each month, take it the bank the check is drawn on than deposit it in his checking account.  This is done for 2 different debts.

He is always telling me I must be bipolar cause I have highs and lows.  Yeah right have him for a son and lets see where he would be.  

I just recently sent my grandson his glasses and a few things other things, thank goodness for tracking on the USPS.  I also ordered my grandson a camera to put on the computer so we can see him.  I know this package was delivered but my son will not tell if he got it and has not set it up for my grandson (grandson is 9yrs old)

This son has joined a lot of milatary groups and comes across being a wonderful person.  Which he was not that bad.  He also started blogging and let me tell you his father and I come across as some horrible people.  I have spoken to him about it and we only get into arguments.


My oldest son does not ask much for me but still never hear from him unless he needs something.  THe other day his wife called me for a phone number I would had to look up on the computer, I told her I was not near the computer.  I am so sick and tired of being taken for.

Mothers day comes and goes, holidays forget it only cause they will get a free meal.

How do you handle such rudeness from your children or am I the only one that have kids like this. 

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

thanks

nancy

by on Jul. 27, 2010 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
writer60
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 3:28 AM

Have you set down to talk to them and let them how you fee? 

Not to be insensitive, but I have such obnoxious adult children, I find your comments mild in comparison.  Talk to them and go from there.

 

Laura Bell

nancy524
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 7:10 AM

Yes I have told them over and over again.

I just don't think the children we raised understand.   My youngest son has a heart of gold for others and claims to be a Christian.   But when it comes to me and his father forget!!!

 

sory to hear you have worse than me.  

What I started doing is just not letting them get to me by not talking to them unless its necessary.  Hate to do it but  my health is more important  to me!

DKDKP
by on Jul. 13, 2011 at 10:58 AM

I feel your pain.   I have three children and the middle son is so very rude.   He married a women whos family is very "Christian" and "Churchey".   and he (they) are rude.  

ie,: I go to their hose to drop off a gift and run on my way.   Mind I used to stop in maybe 2 x month after work for a 1/2 hour.   I was told not to drop in and to call in advance.   I left very upset.  I then started calling for appointments and am told they are too busy.

With the job issues they have been struggling.  They called me to tell me about it.   I offered $100 and to give them the money I have in a bank accounts I started for thier children.  They took the money and the next time I heard from them was when they needed someone to sit with there son while he was in the hospital because they both had to work.   Never mind that I work.   I said ok and watched the grandson while they did their thing.  As soon as they show up its okay Mom you can go now......I do think they said thank you before turning me out.   I called for an appointment to give the grands their birthday presents and am still waiting for the call back.   I am thinking of going over and leaving the gifts on the porch and never buying gifts for them again.   I will just put cash in the bank accounts I started back up again.

I have a daughter who is gay....he was so mean to her she stopped calling him or accepting his calls.   They recently started to talk again and they were meeting at his house to go out for her birthday.  She traveled 1 and 1/2 hours to his house and arrived 1/2 hour early.   He told her she was early and would have to use the Walmart bathroom down the street because they were still getting ready.  He also told her if her daughter wanted to experience a real family he would take her for a week.

It is painful to have such a negletful mean son.  I had an operation for cancer to be removed and he never came to visit during my recovery.   My Mom was very disappointed and mad.  

I try to tell me self...he is happy, busy, etc.   But I guess I ran out of excuses and am done.   I can't do this anymore.   I will pray for him and his family and cross them off my list.

 

 

CoeyG
by on Jul. 13, 2011 at 12:53 PM

I don't get such rudeness from my daughter because I never put up with it when she was a child.  If the only time they call you is for you to do something for them stop doing things for them.  Say "no".  And stop sending them and their kids things.  

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Jul. 13, 2011 at 1:01 PM

This:

Quoting CoeyG:

I don't get such rudeness from my daughter because I never put up with it when she was a child.  If the only time they call you is for you to do something for them stop doing things for them.  Say "no".  And stop sending them and their kids things.  

I would probably still send things for the grandkids though, it is not their fault for the way their parents act.

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momma-t42
by Gold Member on Jul. 13, 2011 at 2:20 PM

I've struggled with my MIL  and FIL the entire time I've been married to my husband (21 years)  I wonder if my MIL feels as if we are rude to them.  So many times misunderstanding occur because of the lack of communication.  

I am a communicator and have tried to talk about what bothers me to my in laws.  Their response is, unless they hear it from their son, they don't believe it to be an issue.  They only want to hear from him unless I were to tell them we are coming to see them.  In which I haven't done for years now.  I am a Christian, but that does NOT mean I am perfect.  If I didn't have the convictions I did have, I would have dumped them all together.  No grandkid time nothing, but I know that is not what I should do.  Every year we go camping in the mountains (which is about 2 hours away from inlaws) and invite them to come up.  ( a mutual ground )  this is the first year IN years they have come and actually stayed.  (it was a nice time)  But, my MIL DID have to spew out her mouth how we never come to see them and they just bought a 500k home so it could host their children etc.  I personally don't care How big a home you own, it's the family on the inside that matters.  I'd come and visit you in shack if you treated me as though I am married to your son and am the mother of his children.  

While I recognize there is a communication gap, it takes more than one to discuss the problem.  They don't want to talk about anything, so I have pulled back severely to protect my heart.  It is tough, as I love them and want nothing more than to be close to them, but it really is not working.

Just a different perspective to ponder.

KaDi_88
by on Jul. 13, 2011 at 4:58 PM

I'm sorry for you that your kids don't show respect like they should. I have some nieces and nephews that are the same way. My own children are still at home being aged 20, 19, and 16.

country50gal
by on Jul. 13, 2011 at 5:21 PM

I understand some of what you a going through.  I have three adult children and they each have very active lives.  I am glad for that! I never ever try to burden them in any way.  My oldest and my youngest call and text me frequently. 

My middle child could care less if me or her dad dropped off the face of the earth.  At Christmas I got a lecture. She informed me that her boyfriends mother had a "real" disease (depression).  You see, she was referring to my disease which is leaving me a useless shell of myself (MS).  It isn't a "real" disease that deserves her respect or care.  She does not call me, text or e mail me.  She screens her calls.  I am very hurt and I told her so a couple of months ago.  No response.  Go figure.  No birthday cards.  No anniversary cards.  No go to hell cards. 

All of my children live a long way away so I never get to see any of them.  And since I can't drive anymore, I just can't jump in the car and go to their house.  So I pretty much have to wait for them.  It is a long wait. 

I didn't "put up" with this behavior when they were children.  I taught them how to send thank you notes and how to be respectful and grateful.  I do not know what happened to my middle child, but it makes me very sad.

CoeyG
by on Jul. 13, 2011 at 7:40 PM

Once a child becomes an adult their life is their own.  They make their own choices and they live their own lives and behave accordingly.  I see nothing "sad" about that.  As a parent I may not understand why one of my adult children does what he/she does but that doesn't mean I have to be disappointed or "sad" about it.  

wheresthewayout
by on Jul. 13, 2011 at 8:28 PM

my stepdaughter has nothing to do with us and when there is a family function she nevers brings her 2 kids along she says they are with their other grandparents, I have talked to the other grandparents about this and they say she hates to be bothered with the kids and they have them 5 days a week. I gave her gifts to her 3 yr ols and they sat in her trunk for 3 weeks. I asked her about it and she said she just always was forgetting to give them to her. WHAT?! seriously me and your dad give you 8  gifts to give to your child and you wait 3 weeks...She only calls when she needs money. she never stays in touch and really does not care to even call on fathers day and wish her dad a happy fathers day.

The girl has no regard and if confronted she blows up with these poor me excuses about how SHE is going through this and that..oh she is another Casey Anthony!! and she wonders why my mood for her goes up and down.

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