Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it normal?

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 10:40 AM
  • 28 Replies

 I worry about my mom all the time.  I worry about her dying and what life will be like without her.  She is my best friend for sure.  I just think maybe it's on my mind way too much.  So, do you think it's normal to think about these kinds of things?

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 10:40 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
dustydude
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 10:45 AM

I think it's natural to wonder when your mom will die, and how life will be without her, especially the older you get.  How old is she, and what type of health is she in? My mom died when I was 31, she was 65. I thought about it, but never really thought it would happen because mom's are always there for you. Try to enjoy all the time you have with her and try to keep those thoughts at bay. Hope I've helped.

Why123
by Nancy on Apr. 13, 2011 at 10:46 AM

My mom is 84 and I worry about it a lot.  She lives 3 and a half hours from me and I haven't been able to visit her since November.  She is the one I call if something happens.  I will miss her a lot when her time comes.  She is really worried that their dog will die any minute right now.  He is 16 years old and I don't think he has much longer either.  She has been sick and doesn't need the extra stress. 

hugss
Report
Take some *Time Out* for You, Join our Friendly/Supportive group :)
Yesterday at 11:42 PM
Time Out For You Group - CafeMom

Need some Time for You? Feeling stressed? Kick back, relax & take a break. If you're a woman who just wants to have fun, here's the place :)

by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 11:54 AM

 I say very normal/natural,
You're lucky to still have her :)

qwietpleez
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 12:10 PM

I'm the same way . . . I like to think I'm normal :o) My kids may tell ya differently though!

My mom has always been my best friend too, we talk every day. I know in my heart I can't have her here with me forever but I just can't imagine what it will be like when she's no longer on the other end of the line. It hurts to think about to be honest.

I try not to worry and think about that day but I know the reality of it will come. Years of abuse earlier in her life and health issues have aged her more than her 60 years . . . I just try to cherish every word she says and send for her as often as I can.

I think it's perfectly normal to think about these things, we have to in a way to prepare our hearts. Still though, I don't think I could ever truly be prepared for that day . . .

Shellness
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:23 PM

It's probably something that happens to a lot of people.

babybitz451
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:03 PM

 I lost both of my parents very young my Dad passed in 1985 and was only 56 and then my Mom passed  in 1991 and she was only 61 so I had never thought about this because they were so young still.I would Love to have even a hour with them again.Try not to dwell on the what ifs and embrace each and every moment you still have.

loreli1262
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:07 PM

I worry about my parents all the time. Mom & I aren't particularly close, but my dad & I always have been. He beat prostate cancer about 10 yrs ago, but the cure almost killed him. His health is up & down because of it. And everytime it's down, it takes him a little longer to come back and he never quite makes it back to where he was before. He's 75 and it scares me to think that one of these days he won't come back. I just can't imagine it.

In answer to your question: yeah, I'd say it's perfectly normal.

KatiesMom63
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 5:43 PM

I think as long as it doesn't consume you it's normal to think about those things.  My dad died just before 50 and I treasure the time I have with my mom. 

csjoy1
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 6:07 PM

 grandmaMom's and Dad's are gifts and for a short while.  When I lost my parents I never realized how much they really meant to me and my son.   The simple things like picking up the telephone to just say Hi, or give my problems to,  were suddenly gone.   However, on the up side, I have no regrets, because the years (Mom 72)  (Dad 70) was spent wisely and close, even when I lived in the West and they were in the East.  Travel to visit them was frequent, at least 2x a year or once a year,  and then @ 38yrs old when I had my baby, they relocated to the West Coast.   Then after 7 years and their first SF earthquake experience they decided to pack up back to NYC  where for them the ground was solid..LOL!  

Worrying concerning your parents passing shouldn't consume you, and while their is time, make certain you have no regrets when they do pass, cause it is far too late to make up for lost time.   The fond memories will make up for the missing them and plus will  last you a life time...so keep making memories, take lots of photos, tell them you love  them while they are living, even if it's long distance, pick up the phone, write letters and Laugh.  The memories are well worth it, for sure....I've been there, trust me!   One more thing, for those that have been estranged, think about it...make sure you won't have any regrets, at least ask yourself that question?    csjoy1, who dearly loved her folks and have no regrets only wonderful loving memories!!!  

louannwilkins
by Louann on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:48 PM

Thanks and it did help.  My mom is 70 but she has really gone down hill since my dad dies in 2007.  They were married for 46 years when he died and they did a lot of things together.  We live near each other and I spend a lot of time with her but I can tell she misses him terribly as we all do.  I've told her she can come live with me but she wants to stay in her house as long as she can and I totally get that.

Quoting dustydude:

I think it's natural to wonder when your mom will die, and how life will be without her, especially the older you get.  How old is she, and what type of health is she in? My mom died when I was 31, she was 65. I thought about it, but never really thought it would happen because mom's are always there for you. Try to enjoy all the time you have with her and try to keep those thoughts at bay. Hope I've helped.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)