Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I Think my Gr-sons Dad is Abusing Him.

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:39 PM
  • 65 Replies

So this ass is NOT let me repeat NOT my son or SIL, just a boy, or ass my deceased DD just happen to have as a friend and got pregnant. She tried to live w/him for 7 mos after the baby was born, he beat her, she left. She was then killed and he now has the baby, who is now 10 on  9/15, but we have partial custody because he's a no good bum. The Courts did not want to give us full custody bec children SHOULD be w/the natural parent, the hell with the fact he beat my DD, fed her drugs and alcohol and deals and wheels, but the hell with that. Now here we are 10 yrs in the making and we found out he may be abusing him and neglecting him. I've called the School and reported it and they are s/w him tomorrow on the sly, but can't do much, what else is new, w/out proof. Lets see, he wears the same clothes 2-3 days in a row, comes over dirty, weights 60 lbs,does not even have the right kind of pots and pans he says to cook a decent meal. Now I ask you, what more can a Gr-Parent do, wait until he's malnutritoned, beat to death, what? I have lost ALL FAITH in the Court system ever since my DD was killed and that boy got 2 yrs bec he was 2 mos short of 18, so WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Closer to 18 than 17 in my eyes. I am totally shocked this child has a loving 2 parent home w/no drugs and the Courts will not let us have him, the Courts DO NOT always look after the child and I'm living proof of that. Right now I'm sooooo pissed and I know I'm not going to be able to sleep, I called to ask abt his B'Day party and the invites he was to come and hand out and the ass screamed, give me the dam pho or I'll beat your ASS and hung up on me. So now he wasn't here to write up his invites or hand them out, I'm pissed. Where is GOD in helping these poor children esp. when they do have a loving home they can go to, where is HE? Pls NO stories abt GOD right now either, I am NOT in the mood.   

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:39 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LadySaphira
by Lisa on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:05 PM

Taht is horrible! I hope yoour GS tells the school what is going on and a full investigation is launched the eventually give you full custody.

CoeyG
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:27 PM

Okay, first off if your daughter was having sex with the guy, he was more than just a friend.  Also you are blaming him for the choices your daughter made.  she could have ended the "friendship" before she got pregnant and none of this would have gone one.  She could have said "no" to him giving her drugs, she could have gotten out  

As far as him wearing the same clothes two three days in a row a lot of kids do that, it doesn't mean they are being abused.  As far as being dirty...LOL you should have seen me at that age...the weight thing is of no major issue either...my daughgter wasn't 60 pounds until she was 12 years old  and nope she wasn't abused, wasn't neglected and wasn't anorexic.  Hell she didn't even make the bottom of the growth chart until she reached puberty!  Until then she wasn't on the growth chart.  And what do having pots and pans have to do with anything...I have ONE pot and my crock pot tha's it.  I guess I'm neglecting my daughter huh?  As far as God is concenred, just because God doesn't answer your prayers in the way that you want them to be answered doesn't mean they havent been answered.  And if you were that concerned about him being abused why haven't you called social services?  

stuswf
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:35 PM
Unless you see or hear physical, emotional or sexual abuse there's not much that can be done. Unless your grandson opens up to someone. I'd keep the lines of communication open with your grandson & let hin know you love him & you will always have an ear to listen & a home with an open door for him!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MyAngel003
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:19 AM

 

Quoting CoeyG:

Okay, first off if your daughter was having sex with the guy, he was more than just a friend.  Also you are blaming him for the choices your daughter made.  she could have ended the "friendship" before she got pregnant and none of this would have gone one.  She could have said "no" to him giving her drugs, she could have gotten out  

As far as him wearing the same clothes two three days in a row a lot of kids do that, it doesn't mean they are being abused.  As far as being dirty...LOL you should have seen me at that age...the weight thing is of no major issue either...my daughgter wasn't 60 pounds until she was 12 years old  and nope she wasn't abused, wasn't neglected and wasn't anorexic.  Hell she didn't even make the bottom of the growth chart until she reached puberty!  Until then she wasn't onthe growth chart.  And what do having pots and pans have to do with anything...I have ONE pot and my crock pot tha's it.  I guess I'm neglecting my daughter huh?  As far as God is concenred, just because God doesn't answer your prayers in the way that you wantthem to be answered doesn't mean they havent been answered.  And if you were that concerned about him being abused why haven't you called social services?  

 Miss Coey G, I've read many of your replies in posts most of them negative, your always one to put people down instead of trying to help pep them up. Your child chose this, your child is an adult, blah blah blah. Unless you know ALL the facts you should not be so quick to judge.

1. My DD was assaulted and yes this ass was A FRIEND. My S/O was having open-heart surgery and he sugg they go away for a nite to get her mind off it, and yes he got her drunk and YES I'm old enough to know it takes 2 to tango. 

2. Sorry none of MY KIDS ever wore the same clothes 2-3 days in a row, esp when they were DIRTY, and when he is sent bk here in the same clothes he goes home in I chg them and wash them and send him home ag in clean clothes. He comes over with hands that I know have not been washed in a day or 2 but I don't see him every day to wash them, when I do, I get him in the shower.

3. Sorry when my Gr-son says they don't have a pot to boil spaghetti in then a crock pot doesn't do shit for that as far as I'm concerned. If you have only a crock pot that's your problem that your family gets 1 pot meals, my family does not and I do not know if he gets any meals some nights. He spent the summer w/us so a lot of this did not get bk to us until just now.  

4. I've been to Courts w/this child for over 6 mos getting partial custody spending well over $1000.00's of $ just to get to see him after out DD died. I asked the School about Soc Serv and they went thru all the ins and outs with me, and it's not as easy as YOU seem to think it is.    

5. I do know GOD works in mysterious ways, but right now if he would be working my way I'd have my Gr-son living w/me like I want and that would be a prayer answered. I have just had an incident w/my Gr-son that has brought the abuse to our attention or I would have been on this long ago, I'm not that stupid dumb or blind.

6. Why don't you for just 1 time have something nice to say to someone instead of always saying the negative to them, as you do in many of your posts. I've seen some of yours and I back off and try not to be like you. I don't care about you, your kids your crock pot, all I care about is  MY GR-SON and that's all right now. Maybe one day I can pep you up when your down, something you have no clue how to do.   

stuswf
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:36 AM
With Coey it's live & let live

respnding to her comments just lights her fire!

There are negative people in the world!

Surround yourself with peole who build you up, not tear you down!

Again (((hugs)))
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CoeyG
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:35 AM


Quoting MyAngel003:

 

Quoting CoeyG:

Okay, first off if your daughter was having sex with the guy, he was more than just a friend.  Also you are blaming him for the choices your daughter made.  she could have ended the "friendship" before she got pregnant and none of this would have gone one.  She could have said "no" to him giving her drugs, she could have gotten out  

As far as him wearing the same clothes two three days in a row a lot of kids do that, it doesn't mean they are being abused.  As far as being dirty...LOL you should have seen me at that age...the weight thing is of no major issue either...my daughgter wasn't 60 pounds until she was 12 years old  and nope she wasn't abused, wasn't neglected and wasn't anorexic.  Hell she didn't even make the bottom of the growth chart until she reached puberty!  Until then she wasn't onthe growth chart.  And what do having pots and pans have to do with anything...I have ONE pot and my crock pot tha's it.  I guess I'm neglecting my daughter huh?  As far as God is concenred, just because God doesn't answer your prayers in the way that you wantthem to be answered doesn't mean they havent been answered.  And if you were that concerned about him being abused why haven't you called social services?  

 Miss Coey G, I've read many of your replies in posts most of them negative, your always one to put people down instead of trying to help pep them up. Your child chose this, your child is an adult, blah blah blah. Unless you know ALL the facts you should not be so quick to judge.

1. My DD was assaulted and yes this ass was A FRIEND. My S/O was having open-heart surgery and he sugg they go away for a nite to get her mind off it, and yes he got her drunk and YES I'm old enough to know it takes 2 to tango. 

2. Sorry none of MY KIDS ever wore the same clothes 2-3 days in a row, esp when they were DIRTY, and when he is sent bk here in the same clothes he goes home in I chg them and wash them and send him home ag in clean clothes. He comes over with hands that I know have not been washed in a day or 2 but I don't see him every day to wash them, when I do, I get him in the shower.

3. Sorry when my Gr-son says they don't have a pot to boil spaghetti in then a crock pot doesn't do shit for that as far as I'm concerned. If you have only a crock pot that's your problem that your family gets 1 pot meals, my family does not and I do not know if he gets any meals some nights. He spent the summer w/us so a lot of this did not get bk to us until just now.  

4. I've been to Courts w/this child for over 6 mos getting partial custody spending well over $1000.00's of $ just to get to see him after out DD died. I asked the School about Soc Serv and they went thru all the ins and outs with me, and it's not as easy as YOU seem to think it is.    

5. I do know GOD works in mysterious ways, but right now if he would be working my way I'd have my Gr-son living w/me like I want and that would be a prayer answered. I have just had an incident w/my Gr-son that has brought the abuse to our attention or I would have been on this long ago, I'm not that stupid dumb or blind.

6. Why don't you for just 1 time have something nice to say to someone instead of always saying the negative to them, as you do in many of your posts. I've seen some of yours and I back off and try not to be like you. I don't care about you, your kids your crock pot, all I care about is  MY GR-SON and that's all right now. Maybe one day I can pep you up when your down, something you have no clue how to do.   

1.  I'm not putting anyone down.  I am giving you a dose of reality.  You say he "got her drunk"...didn't she have a voice?  Couldn't she say "No"?  He didn't "get her drunk" she chose to drink,  One can't get drunk if one doesn't accept the alcoholic beverage to begin with.  

2.  So you don't like dirty kids...so what?  Okay so the kid doesn't get a bath every night, so what?  That's not abuse.  Maybe a bit of neglect, but that's it. 

3.  I cook spaghetti in my crock pot all the time, I also cook mac and cheese, soups stews, roasted veggies...maybe you should look up some crock pot recipies.  In fact there used to be a Crcok Pot mom's group here in CM...you might want to look them up.  

4.  It is very easy to pick up a phone, call Social Services with FACTS regarding the well being of your Grand Son...it happens everyday.  

5.  Like I said...just because God doesn't do as you ask doesn't mean God hasn't answered.  You are obviously pissed that you didn't get the answer you wanted.  

6.  Reality isn't pretty...I'm not a pesimist I am a realist.  If you want answers that are sugar coated and happy and pretty and right out of fantasy land maybe you need to seek a message board where they do those things.  Nope I don't, you ask a question I'm going to be straight up in my answers.  Don't like the answers you get from me...then don't read them.  I don't know why you had to bring it to my attention that you don't care about me but this is how I feel about that one...

Shellness
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:19 AM

Class comes in all forms

MyAngel003
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:08 AM

And then my Mother also taught me there are people w/no class. If you don't have something to say, say NOTHING. I thank GOD this time he gave me friends who are people w/class and I didn't need a GAF meter to put on the internet as an answer. Grow up your suppose to have some class your called a Mother.!! one w/a DD at home, oh you probably DGAF. Just so you know, I didn't read any more than your mature GAFM so don't waste your time with your ignorant advise, I can get that fr any smuck  off the street.

Why123
by Nancy on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:21 AM

At least you have partial custody.  In the State of Ohio, grandparents have no rights.  If you see bruises, photograph them.  Get something to record phone calls.  Start building a case and then take it back to court. 

nana9106
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 11:27 AM
Call 1-800-422-4453. Call and report the slime ball today and tomorrow and everyday until they do something. 'the squeeky wheel gets the grease' while the case is under investigation yoi should get temp. Custody. Meanwhile i am praying for him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)