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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Hard being a mom of adult children

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2007 at 12:13 AM
  • 14 Replies
I have a 23 year old son, who just moved out for the 3rd, and I hope the last time.  He is doing pretty good.  And my daughter graduated this year from high school and I thought that when she started college, it would be just my husband and I.  My husband and I married almost 9 years ago. We've always had kids in the house.  I was looking forward to the "Empty Nest" but right after graduation my daughter finds out she's pregnant.  She's still going to college, she works.  But looks like she is home for a little longer.
My daughter is having some issues with her boyfriend (baby's daddy) and I am trying not to get involved.  But........tonight he drew the line.  The last couple of weeks he has acted very distant to my daughter, going out with his buddies and leaving her home.  Tonight she decided to go with friends to eat.  He apparently didn't like that too much.  Next thing I know I'm getting a call (my husband and I were out to eat) from the boy's mother.  She's on her way to my house because our kids were "fighting" and she may have to call the police.  WEll I left my husband at restaurant and I met her at my house. 
It wasn't as bad as it could have been.  But he got my daughter very upset.  Being 7 mos. pregnant, she doesnt' need this.  I let him know exactly what I thought of him.  I just want the best for my daughter and her baby.
I am about at my wits end.  She loves this boy, but I don't think he wants to "grow up" and he's scared to death. 
I'm sorry, I'm rambling.  I just had to vent.  I figured this was the place to do that. 
She still wants him to go to Thanksgiving with us tomorrow.  We have told her yes (only cause she wants him too)  Pray that it goes well.

Susan
by on Nov. 22, 2007 at 12:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
loritona
by on Nov. 22, 2007 at 10:09 PM
 I totally agree it is hard being a mom to adults. As far as your story sometimes you need to vent. I would caution you to be careful with the boyfriend. You have to walk a fine line because your daughter still cares about him. Say too much and you're the bad guy. Good luck.
Jbug799
by on Nov. 22, 2007 at 10:26 PM
Oh girl I so understand...sometimes you just wish they would grow up and that means someplace else.  LOL I love my kids but sometimes I just wish they would handle their own problems.  My husband and I have been married for 11 years and like you we have never lived alone...if one is moving out another is moving in.  I think we might be on the right road but sometimes I just don't know.  And like you said you just want whats best for them and sometimes that means letting them come back home.  My husband has been so wonderful..we have been thru so much with all of them.   We are here for you...vent away! hugs, Jbug
Theresa65
by on Nov. 23, 2007 at 8:28 AM
I understand completely !
My oldest is 24 and has a 4yr old, the dad has decided not to be involved at all !
She went to college, and has been living on her own for 4 yrs with her son.

She has a pretty good job, and is has been seeing a old boyfriend from HS.
He is never going to commit, he still lives at home with his parents ( he has got it made )
Of course I am the babysitter ! 6 days a week.
If she had to pay a babysitter she would never make it.

My youngest moved out after grad and went to college & has been on her own ever since !
go figure

Theresa

harley1789
by on Nov. 23, 2007 at 10:48 AM
I understand competely, you have to be so carefull what  you say and don't say because it can come and bit you. I know this from experience. This is a good place to vent. One thing I have learned this year is all we can do is to listen and than bit your tongue when you get ready to say something. I am learning everyday what I am not do  or say with adult children.
GayleC
by on Nov. 23, 2007 at 1:18 PM
Hope your Thanksgiving went well.  Would be nice if we could choose who our children are with.  But, we just have to sometimes sit back and let them make their own mistakes..............like we did. 
sacdp29
by on Nov. 23, 2007 at 9:15 PM
Thanks for all the support.  It does help to know I'm not alone.
I'm very thankful for this group.

Our Thanksgiving did end up nice.  We went to my in-laws and yes my daughter AND her boyfriend came too.  Boyfriend actually came up to my husband and myself and said how sorry he was for the night before. 

Hope all had a good Holiday!

Susan
vbean
by on Nov. 27, 2007 at 6:21 AM
I'm in agreement with JUST LISTENING sometimes... My kids arn't thrilled with my Hubby..(I'm a newlywed.. (no one is good enuff 4 mom).. they don't even LIKE to call , let alone come by.. but they do call when they need questions answered about their life.. or just to vent.. I learned the hard way to JUST LISTEN.. my son now says .. MOM.. PLEASE JUST STAY ON THE PHONE WITH ME AND LISTEN UNTIL I'M DONE...  Hard?.. understatement!
ainteasy
by on Dec. 7, 2007 at 2:50 PM
THAT IS SO TRUE LORITONA AINTEASY
ainteasy
by on Dec. 7, 2007 at 2:57 PM
MAYBE YOUR YOUNGEST LEARNED SOMETHING FROM THE OLDEST THERESA I WAS HOPING MY YOUNGEST WOULD HAVE LEARNED FROM THE OLDEST BUT .....SHE DIDNT ...I REALLY DONT GET THAT SIGNED AINT EASY THIS WAS FOR THERESA
snickers1962
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:44 PM

PRAYING AND GOOD LUCK.

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