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Posted by on Nov. 24, 2007 at 9:27 PM
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My name is Christine Amaryllis. I have one bio child, who turned 21 in June. He lives in New York, well, he is in his last year of college, but he intends to stay there. I am currently living in Texas. I have had a really hard time letting go, my apron strings have taken a real beating. He has been gone for the past three years, since he started school, and I have seen him just occasionally since then. He does keep in touch, he calls and emails me. Still, it is incredibly hard. I was a single mom since his dad and I divorced when he was five. I am in a great relationship, and somehow can't quite let go of being "ma".

I hope that this is not so uncommon., I do have a life, I work, and do my normal things. But there is a big Al shaped hole in my heart.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello, and I am feeling a little mopey about it today.

Looking forward to talking to everyone,
Christine Amaryllis
by on Nov. 24, 2007 at 9:27 PM
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by on Nov. 25, 2007 at 1:10 PM
Its good to know that there are people in the same boat as us. You are not alone.

Have a great day
by on Nov. 25, 2007 at 7:04 PM
Welcome to this group.  Its a great place because you find people in the same "boat" as you.
My name is Susan, I live in Kentucky and am 49 yrs. old.  I have a 23 year old son who has just recently moved out for the 3rd and I hope the last  But he hasn't moved far away.  I would think it would be so hard to have my children so far away. I have a 19 yr. old daughter, she is still living at home, she is working, going to college and is pregnant, due in January.

My father lives in Texas, Brownsville, and I know its hard for me, that my dad lives so far off.  My children don't ever get to see their Gramps.

Take care.
Remember we are here for you.
by on Nov. 25, 2007 at 7:48 PM
I can understand how you feel. We are "needed" moms for so many years and all of a sudden our children no longer need us in the same way. It can be devastating to the maternal heart.

I don't know if this will be a conciliation or not, but if you have raised a healthy happy individual, he is on his way to a complete life. The closness will always be remembered and he will love you all the more for letting him discover who he is.

I have always been guided by the following poem. I hope it helps you.

Your Children are not Your Children

They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

© Kahlil Gibran, 1923

This is a great website to share all of these feelings. It's wonderful that you are still in close contact with your son, even if it is only email.

Take care. 

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