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[aquamarine_mom]

Hi, I am a 43 yr old mom with two daughters.  One will be 21 in March and the other will be 16 in January.  There's always drama in my house.  The oldest ones boyfriend is driving me crazy!  He constantly wants to control her.  I would love to get him out of the picture, but, I don't want to loose her.
I'm trying to be cool about it, but it's really hard.  Anyone been through this with their kids?

[sacdp29]

Bless your heart.  Two girls, I only have one!

Hi, I'm Susan.  I live in Kentucky.  I'm a mother of son - 23 yrs. old and a daughter - 19 yrs. old.  My daughter is going to college, has a job and on top of all that she's pregnant.  due in January.
Her boyfriend (baby's daddy) is 17 yrs. old...  :(   He's still in high school, hoping that he finishes.
Before this boyfriend, my daughter has had some.....hmmmm...undesirable boyfriends.  I was like you, didn't want to make my daughter mad at me.  So as long as they treated her good, I was ok.  I kind of sat back and let her figure things out on her own.  She dropped two different boys, I didn't have to do a thing.  As long as your daughter isn't in "danger" then you are going to have to sit back and let her be a "grown up".  I know its hard.
I went through similiar with my son, also. 
sometimes I think its harder to have adult children then smaller ones...LOL

Hang in there.  Keep me posted.

Susan

[Theresa65]

Hi
I am Theresa mom of two girls 24 & 22 and a grama to a 4 yr old
boy do I have some stories form when my girls lived at home !!!!! lol
just be there for them. I tried not to get involved in their relationships until one became violent .
She didn't listen anyway but was smart enough to finally get out.
oh those were the days.(glad they are over)
I always had someones son sprawled out on my furniture and they changed often.
You teach as much as you can and hope they absorb most of it, then you have to watch and see if they use it !

Theresa

[MaBellNonna]

Hi!  Welcome to the group.  I'm the mom of 2 young men, 27 and 24.  The one thing I remember my mother telling me is to not make an issue out of who your kids are dating.  Dating is like trying people on to see if they fit.  If you don't like one of them and make an issue out of it, your child will be more drawn to that person because they irrate you.  If you take it matter of factly, they may come to see for themselves that this might not be the right person for them.  Unless, of course, violence is involved, in which case, you must act immediately.

I did not care for my older son's wife, but she is growing on me.  Just glad I don't have to live with her lol!  Seriously, she is a very nice person and tries to be a good mother.  My younger son's wife....well, let's just say we need to work on our relationship.

Anyway, bite your tongue as much as you can.  Treat them graciously as possible and never say I TOLD YOU SO!

Good luck and again, welcome to the group!

[Jbug799]

Hi I'm June and lets just say I have a varieity of both.  I like to think that all my children have made good choices..in one situation I think it may be my son that is the problem..but anyway, you have been given some very good advice.  Bite your tongue, don't run them down etc etc.  Only one time did I tell one of mine that her boyfriend was a loser.  It seemed like he was always at our house, sleeping on the couch, helping himself to the food, borrowing money etc etc.  I told her I wanted his butt out and he went.  A few years later my daughter told me that was the one of the best things I had done for her.  But as a rule they have to make their own decisions and unless they ask your opinion its best to stay out...<unless there is violence>.  I will get better, or it usually does.  ;)  Hugs, June