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Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

Welcome to Moms with Adult Kids group! Introduce yourself!

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 11:32 AM
  • 829 Replies
11 moms liked this
Welcome to the Moms with Adult Kids group!

Our goal is to get you talking with other moms.

Step 1:   Introduce yourself by replying to this post.   It will help us get to know you a little bit.

Step 2:  Jump right in and reply to any posts that you find interesting.  You may want to start some new conversations, too.

Step 3:  Feel free to invite some of the moms you meet here to be your friendTo send someone a friend invitation, click on the "Invite as a friend" link under their picture on their page.  

Here is a link to the CafeMom Help Desk:
The CafeMom Help Desk - Ask Questions Here! FAQs, Tips and Abbreviations...

If you have a child in the military, you may want to say hello on this thread, too:
Do you have a child in the military?

If you'd like your 1st name or nickname added to your posts, click here:
Would anyone like their 1st name added to their posts?

Here are some Moms with Adult Kids group signatures that you can add to your posts:
Moms with Adult Kids group SIGNATURES!

If you ever have a question or need any help, feel free to send me or any of our Mods a private message.  We really want you to have a great time in this group.

Now click reply and introduce yourself. Make yourself at home and enjoy the group! =)


coffee

Please feel free to visit my page and send me a friend invite!

Cafe MichelleP and the Moms With Adult Kids Group Mods




by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 11:32 AM
Replies (1-10):
bookish1
by on Apr. 6, 2012 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Hello, Moms!  I have 2 adult kids still living at home.  The youngest,  Dylan, is 19. He is working and going to college.  The oldest, Brianna, is 22.  She has a 2 year degree and is (probably) going to continue in the Fall. 

My problem is with the oldest, who will not lift a finger around here.  I have a long commute, and I'm gone 10 and a half hours a day.  I am getting increasingly irritated at the amount of time I spend on my days off doing stuff my daughter could be doing, but refuses to.  I did cancel her cell phone, which her dad says just made her mad.  Now she won't do the one thing she used to do, which was take the trash out twice a week.  (I would prefer that it be removed every day, but she had her own "schedule.")  I am furious.  I have decided to deprive her of my laundry soap; she can buy her own. 

Our situation is complicated by the fact that my husband has multiple myeloma and end stage renal disease.  We haven't  pushed the kids out of the nest because of this illness.   I don't mind them living here; I just think they should help out more.  My son, the 19 year old, is pretty good about keeping the dishwasher emptied, and he does additional chores on the weekends.  My daughter, though, just gets angry at being told to do anything.  Her dad insists that she is not lazy because she helps him work at a rental property once a week.  I need help around here!!! I don't care about the rental property.  Does anybody have any suggestions?

hugss
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:04 AM
2 moms liked this

Welcome to the group ;)

Have you sat your dd down & told her your *expectations* while she is living under *your* roof?
Otherwise you could remind her that she could be paying rent & other bills elsewhere.
Remind her how lucky she is to have parents that allow them to continue to live at home.
However there is no free ride & she is expected to help out.
Good luck :)

Quoting bookish1:

Hello, Moms!  I have 2 adult kids still living at home.  The youngest,  Dylan, is 19. He is working and going to college.  The oldest, Brianna, is 22.  She has a 2 year degree and is (probably) going to continue in the Fall. 

My problem is with the oldest, who will not lift a finger around here.  I have a long commute, and I'm gone 10 and a half hours a day.  I am getting increasingly irritated at the amount of time I spend on my days off doing stuff my daughter could be doing, but refuses to.  I did cancel her cell phone, which her dad says just made her mad.  Now she won't do the one thing she used to do, which was take the trash out twice a week.  (I would prefer that it be removed every day, but she had her own "schedule.")  I am furious.  I have decided to deprive her of my laundry soap; she can buy her own. 

Our situation is complicated by the fact that my husband has multiple myeloma and end stage renal disease.  We haven't  pushed the kids out of the nest because of this illness.   I don't mind them living here; I just think they should help out more.  My son, the 19 year old, is pretty good about keeping the dishwasher emptied, and he does additional chores on the weekends.  My daughter, though, just gets angry at being told to do anything.  Her dad insists that she is not lazy because she helps him work at a rental property once a week.  I need help around here!!! I don't care about the rental property.  Does anybody have any suggestions?




Join Us at
Time Out for You

incite
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 12:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Hello Moms,

I live in Rio Rancho, NM after 30 years of living in S. California. My son is here with me but my four daughters are still in Cali. My youngest child is 22. My oldest is 30. 

I just wanted to say hi - and that I am glad to have found Moms With Adult Kids.

   Iris J Chapman, Work From Home Advocate

CoachTara71
by on Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:05 PM
6 moms liked this

Hello everyone! My daughter is Pregnant! I am so excited! I am a 40 year old stay at home Mom and I am happy to be here!

hugss
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to the group,
Glad you're able to adjust to your new place of living.
We also use to live in SoCal & it was an adjustment when we move to Missouri.
Hope you can see your daughters now & then :)

Quoting incite:

Hello Moms,

I live in Rio Rancho, NM after 30 years of living in S. California. My son is here with me but my four daughters are still in Cali. My youngest child is 22. My oldest is 30. 

I just wanted to say hi - and that I am glad to have found Moms With Adult Kids.




Join Us at
Time Out for You

hugss
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:04 AM

Welcome to the group,
Congrats on the upcoming new arrival :)

Quoting CoachTara71:

Hello everyone! My daughter is Pregnant! I am so excited! I am a 40 year old stay at home Mom and I am happy to be here!




Join Us at
Time Out for You

jknoel158
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Hello,

I'd also like to welcome new members. I haven't been as active as I was when I joined, but that is only because of "life," limiting my online time. :) You will find support here and learn much about setting boundaries with your adult children. I have a 23.5 yr old DD, married, w/one 3yr old DGD and another GC soon to enter this world!!!! I am so excited to be a Granma to two! 

jknoel158
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 3:32 PM
2 moms liked this

Welcome to the group!!! :)

As for your daughter, I have a suggestion: You & your daughter sit down & draw up a contract together. Your expectations should be clear & the consequences of not meeting those expectations should be clear. Allow her to have a say in what's included in the contract. She may be feeling like she is being treated like a child. She is refusing to do what's asked of her because she's being allowed to. I understand that you have taken the phone away, as well as laundry soap. However, what about food, for example. If she chooses to not help out, she can buy her own food, too. Also, any other expenses you cover for her should be put directly back onto her if she is not willing to help. If you expect the garbage taken out each day, then she NEEDS to do that. She can only refuse if you allow her to. Please don't allow her to hold you hostage w/the situation with your husband. Ultimately, the most severe consequence would include a specific timeline for her to move out: say two months, if she refuses to work w/you on the contract and/or follow through on what she agrees to do. Tough love is really hard to implement, yet it must be done. Otherwise, she will continue to manipulate and control the situation in YOUR HOME. Also, her "anger," should not be a reason for her to not honor your rules. This, too, is a form of manipulation. She is an adult and must act like one. Irresponsibility has consequences. Please remember, this is just my suggestion. Others may have different ideas. Personally, I say, "NO MOOCHERS ALLOWED!!" :) Boundaries are a MUST. I have had to make them with my adult daughter and it is very hard sometimes, yet I DO keep them. 

Please, keep writing to the group. We are here to support you and help you.


Sincerely,

Joy

Quoting bookish1: 

Hello, Moms!  I have 2 adult kids still living at home.  The youngest,  Dylan, is 19. He is working and going to college.  The oldest, Brianna, is 22.  She has a 2 year degree and is (probably) going to continue in the Fall. 

My problem is with the oldest, who will not lift a finger around here.  I have a long commute, and I'm gone 10 and a half hours a day.  I am getting increasingly irritated at the amount of time I spend on my days off doing stuff my daughter could be doing, but refuses to.  I did cancel her cell phone, which her dad says just made her mad.  Now she won't do the one thing she used to do, which was take the trash out twice a week.  (I would prefer that it be removed every day, but she had her own "schedule.")  I am furious.  I have decided to deprive her of my laundry soap; she can buy her own. 

Our situation is complicated by the fact that my husband has multiple myeloma and end stage renal disease.  We haven't  pushed the kids out of the nest because of this illness.   I don't mind them living here; I just think they should help out more.  My son, the 19 year old, is pretty good about keeping the dishwasher emptied, and he does additional chores on the weekends.  My daughter, though, just gets angry at being told to do anything.  Her dad insists that she is not lazy because she helps him work at a rental property once a week.  I need help around here!!! I don't care about the rental property.  Does anybody have any suggestions?


jknoel158
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 3:36 PM

Welcome to the group!! :)

My daughter is also pregnant w/my second DGC. She is technically due on May 10th, but will probably have the baby at the end of this month or beginning of May, due to symptoms of Pre-Eclampsia. When is your GC due? I am 46 and my first GD is 3.

Joy

Quoting CoachTara71: 

Hello everyone! My daughter is Pregnant! I am so excited! I am a 40 year old stay at home Mom and I am happy to be here!


jknoel158
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 3:44 PM

Welcome to the group!! I'm glad you found us, too.

My only daugter is 22 years old. It must be hard to have four daughters in CA, still. I also used to live in the Bay area of CA., but have been here since my DD was 6 months old. I have visited NM, and loved it. How are you liking it?

Joy

Quoting incite:

Hello Moms,

I live in Rio Rancho, NM after 30 years of living in S. California. My son is here with me but my four daughters are still in Cali. My youngest child is 22. My oldest is 30. 

I just wanted to say hi - and that I am glad to have found Moms With Adult Kids.


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