New Tatoo

[caro100]

My youngest came home sporting a new tatoo.  Its definitely not a stone him in the streets issue, but... as I told him, you spent 60.00 on that tatoo and you haven't paid me the money you owe me yet, which is 150.00 and he doesn't get paid for another 3 weeks  and only works part time.  His Dad and I had told him he could have one when he was a self sufficient adult, if he wanted.  Well, the kid still lives at home, has not paid rent, insurance, or for cell phone.  Not self sufficient.  This kid is always pushing the limits.  Guess this is a rant.

[gmadiane]

he should have paid you first

[caro100]

Quoting rosebud727:

Have him work off some of that rent money while your waiting. I'm sure there are things that need to be done around there, and don't back down.

That's already part of him living at home.  You don't think 150.00, really gets all his expenses?  

[caro100]

Well, I know I've already heard several Moms complain of similiar stunts, and as I said, not a hanging offense, just aggravating.

Quoting suzeebloch:

My daughter pulled this exact same stunt on me.  At that point in time, I was taking her $$ every payday, paying her bills with it and then giving her back an allowance.  She was living at home at that time, ages 19-24.  Her allowance was $20 a week to buy personal items. One time, 2 days after she got her allowance, she informed me she needed more $$.  I asked why?  She told me after buying tampons and shampoo and antiperspirant, she had no $$ left.  After giving her more $$, I later found out she had spent it on a stupid tattoo. 

CafeMom was not yet in existance - or else I hadn't heard of it.  I sure could have used the advice and support back then!  ugh.  young adults. It's easy for me to say, "Kick him out" but I also know that's much easier said than done!  Been there, done that!

[rosebud727]

Quoting caro100:

Quoting rosebud727:

Have him work off some of that rent money while your waiting. I'm sure there are things that need to be done around there, and don't back down.

That's already part of him living at home.  You don't think 150.00, really gets all his expenses?  

I have no idea what your expenses or arrangement is.  However since he didn't pay you I'm sure you have some big item that needs to be done in addition to whatever he's doing now. I'm sure it's aggravating, sorry for your frustration.

[DesignGirl450]

I would be angry too, but I guess this is part of growing up, i.e., making stupid decisions.   You definitely need to lay down the law about him paying his share, and repaying you the money he owes.  On the bright side, if this is the worst thing he has done, things aren't so bad, are they?

[nybor48]

Me four..!!!!

Quoting busygramma4:

Me three!

Quoting LadySaphira:

me too!

Quoting jabs54:

 I would be mad if my kid owed me money and went out and wasted money on a tattoo.

[LLICE]

Start by taking the cell phone as collateral until he repays the $150.00. Loan him nothing & start charging rent. If he doesn't pay he's out. He won't find as cushy a set-up elsewhere & even if he leaves he'll be back & a little more willing to behave responsibly. Make it absolutely clear that if another tattoo shows up before he's straightened out finances you will change the locks & put his belongings at the curb.

Been there, done that. Just remember, at this stage they take baby steps toward improvement.

[hugss]

I would be upset as well,
Pay the dang bills first then you whatever is left for whatever after ::sigh::

[dnhines2002]

My son is 21 and was given a bill to pay once he got a job to teach him self discipline because he's the type that will give his money to girls that hang around and give him sob stories while spending and blowing their money on whatever they chose but at times he couldn't even pay his cell phone bill because he would give his money to them to pay their bills and some of them had boyfriends and it was quick to see he was being used but whenever we said something or asked what happened to your money cause you just got paid he would lie and then finally came clean one day. So we told him that he's an adult and needed to pay either rent or a bill to live here so he picked the water bill which was only $100.00 so he would pay it at first on time then started to slack and let it go into 2 months and would think that was ok until we had to tell him if you're doing that here when you get your own place you will be thrown out on your ass real fast or in the dark or living without water and food if you continue to be used but letting that bill lapse is not ok, especially when I was sent a collections letter stating they were going to put me in the credit bureau for $12.00 because he hadn't paid the bill in full but had decided to start paying a little at a time.So now he says he's moving to Texas to be with a girl he's only seen 5 times once when she came down here with her mother that hates him she came to see him twice and once for three days when I let her stay at our house when she came to town, he finally told me the truth which is he met her on Mocospace. But he thinks he is ready to live on his own and he's still dating other girls right this moment but he's going to get an apartment with her next month and he's let the water bill go into 2 months and is complaint it's too high....DUH!!! Because you haven't paid it in two months.

[CoeyG]

Quoting dnhines2002:

My son is 21 and was given a bill to pay once he got a job to teach him self discipline because he's the type that will give his money to girls that hang around and give him sob stories while spending and blowing their money on whatever they chose but at times he couldn't even pay his cell phone bill because he would give his money to them to pay their bills and some of them had boyfriends and it was quick to see he was being used but whenever we said something or asked what happened to your money cause you just got paid he would lie and then finally came clean one day. So we told him that he's an adult and needed to pay either rent or a bill to live here so he picked the water bill which was only $100.00 so he would pay it at first on time then started to slack and let it go into 2 months and would think that was ok until we had to tell him if you're doing that here when you get your own place you will be thrown out on your ass real fast or in the dark or living without water and food if you continue to be used but letting that bill lapse is not ok, especially when I was sent a collections letter stating they were going to put me in the credit bureau for $12.00 because he hadn't paid the bill in full but had decided to start paying a little at a time.So now he says he's moving to Texas to be with a girl he's only seen 5 times once when she came down here with her mother that hates him she came to see him twice and once for three days when I let her stay at our house when she came to town, he finally told me the truth which is he met her on Mocospace. But he thinks he is ready to live on his own and he's still dating other girls right this moment but he's going to get an apartment with her next month and he's let the water bill go into 2 months and is complaint it's too high....DUH!!! Because you haven't paid it in two months.

He is 21 and pays one bill?  Of course he lies to you about hwere his money goes.  He only has one bill to pay.  At 21 my daughter was paying half the rent, half of all of the bills, part of the grocery bill and she paid them on time.  She had a full time job and went to college full time.  It's about time your son's parents made him grow up and stop mooching off of them.