Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Texting War between Sisters!!! :(

Posted by   + Show Post

First off, I know both my girls are considered "adults" ODD is 24, YDD is 19.

Now ODD has always been spoiled rotten by her BD. No matter what,(one day when she was 3 he even bought her a huge washer(circular thing) just because they were in the hardware store and she wanted it!) BUT, my YDD, her BD never did any thing with her, didn't take her anywhere, or spend anytime with her. As a matter of fact when I found out I was pregnant with her, he gave me the ultimatum of  keep the baby or  divorce, If I stayed married to him he wanted me to get an abortion! I called my parents to see if they would come get my 3 yr old and myself and help us out(we lived almost 1000 miles away, I had no money to get a place of my own and he wouldn't give me any) YES, BD is the father to both girls.

ok, with that info. Naturally ODD has a super relationship with BD, as he still spoils her, to this day even tho she is married, and has 2 kids(yes the same one with the cheating pond scum DH) He bought her a car @ 17,(gets her what ever she wants or needs) and to this day will let her go to his place of work and fill her tank if her finances are low(pond scum is back home BTW) BD buy ODD birthday presents, went to ODD's H.S. graduation, always keeps the grands on weekends.

YDD, has almost no relationship with her BD, no matter how much she has tried, he kept promising her a car, @ 17 never got her one. Didn't go to YDD's H.S. graduation,& never gets her anyting for her birthday, as he has no clue when it is.(again with that info)

So,YDD needs a new laptop for college, she only has a part time job, and has college. She is only eligible for student loans, So YDD thought she would ask her BD for help with the laptop.(to my surprise, he said yes.)

Well, BD mentions to ODD about YDD needing a laptop and she goes off, about how YDD is "playing" him and YDD doesn't need a new one as she got one for Christmas.(she didn't,& ODD knows this)It was a graduation present DH & I went in on together and we got her a refurbished one! YDD has had it almost 4 yrs(its acting up) there's no telling how old it really is.

BD texts YDD with how he doesn't appreciated being "played" she doesn't need a lap top she got a new one @ Christmas! per ODD!. YDD text back no I didn't and explained about her laptop.

Text world war 3 broke out between the 2 sisters after that! YDD was even going to play the u can't keep your DH from not keeping his pants closed, U need to mind ur own business,( I don't think she did)

What bothers me, is on the rare occasions, YDD asks BD for help, ODD goes off on her and gets all pissed off, saying she doesn't need it, or what ever excuse she has. IT's none of ODD's business! Which is what YDD first said, but ODD, just kept them coming, I kept hearing, I"m gonna hurt her feelings... it's coming. she's gonna be sorry.

I stayed out of it. I told her to ignore them. I also told her to not get her hopes up for a laptop, as her BD has a habit of saying yes, and doing nothing. Other than asking about it, but nothing ever comes out of it. I'm not sure If I should butt in or stay out, ODD, is NOT the mother, I am, even tho each girl are "adults"... I have decided if ODD calls or text me about his, I am telling her I'm not getting involved.

Thanks for listening. Ps,no the girls are not close, they used to be, but as YDD started to see the favoritizim,, it went away, then add ODD pond scum pulled that crap, and ODD picked his side,,, well

 


planning a wedding


by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Replies (11-20):
taina361
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Wow thats horrible! As a mom i would totally butt in to make peace but i wouldnt take sides. I would also talk to bd to tell the odd started it. My mom always thought us sisters to get along and help eachother. She also hates favoritism she would flip out. If not then favor ur ydd so odd knows how it feels like???

Any likes are greatly appreciated....TY :) www.facebook.com/lisaannsweetdelights

jabs54
by Jeanine on May. 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM

 Your poor younger dd!!!  How cruel of her father to treat her like that :(  

Shellness
by Michell on May. 3, 2012 at 3:13 PM

 I feel sorry for your younger daughter. It is awful when a parent plays favorite, or grandparent does that. I hate that with a passion.

My daughters were fighting yesterday too. It was awful. I'm sorry they are doing that.

gmadiane
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2012 at 3:14 PM

I feel awful for her, dad needs to grow up

CoeyG
by on May. 3, 2012 at 4:03 PM


Quoting gmadiane:

I feel awful for her, dad needs to grow up

Dad didn't want her to begin with.  I am not saying she shouldn't have been born, however both parents should have discussed wanting children and how many children prior to getting married.  Maybe if they had they wouldn't have gotten married and none of what is going on now would be going on.  You can't force a man to want to be a father just as you can't force a woman to want to be a mother.  No it isn't right what he is doing but he has the right to ignore his younger daughter and as an adult she needs to come to terms with that fact and stop expecting him to treat her like he does her sister.  Life isn't fair and reality isn't always sweet.  It is her who needs to grow up and move on and stoip expecting anything from her father, and as her mother I'd be telling her that.  

gr8d8n3mom
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 4:36 PM


Quoting CoeyG:

You said it yourself your ex spoiled the oldest daughter and it is quite obvious that he didn't want the younger one.  This is all stuff you and he should have discussed before you got married actually.  There is no real advice I can give other than stay out of the battles between your daughters.  You are aware of how their father treats them and they are well aware of it.  None of that is going to change.  What you can do is when they come tattling to you is to simply tell them to leave you out of it, you don't want to hear it and if they have a problem with the way the father is then they need to take it up with him, not you and that includes your younger daughter.  She needs to stop expecting you to fix things for her with her father.  You are no longer married to him and how he treats her is between the two of them now that she is an adult.  

Actually YDD doesn't expect me to fix things with her & her dad. She knows how he is, and she is trying or maybe not trying to fix what they may or may not have as a relationship.  YDD knows it's between them now, nothing I can do.


planning a wedding


CoeyG
by on May. 3, 2012 at 4:37 PM


Quoting gr8d8n3mom:


Quoting CoeyG:

You said it yourself your ex spoiled the oldest daughter and it is quite obvious that he didn't want the younger one.  This is all stuff you and he should have discussed before you got married actually.  There is no real advice I can give other than stay out of the battles between your daughters.  You are aware of how their father treats them and they are well aware of it.  None of that is going to change.  What you can do is when they come tattling to you is to simply tell them to leave you out of it, you don't want to hear it and if they have a problem with the way the father is then they need to take it up with him, not you and that includes your younger daughter.  She needs to stop expecting you to fix things for her with her father.  You are no longer married to him and how he treats her is between the two of them now that she is an adult.  

Actually YDD doesn't expect me to fix things with her & her dad. She knows how he is, and she is trying or maybe not trying to fix what they may or may not have as a relationship.  YDD knows it's between them now, nothing I can do.

And yet you keep blaming him and trying to get in the middle of it.  You need to face the fact that there is nothing you can do and move on.  

gr8d8n3mom
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 4:45 PM


Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting gmadiane:

I feel awful for her, dad needs to grow up

Dad didn't want her to begin with.  I am not saying she shouldn't have been born, however both parents should have discussed wanting children and how many children prior to getting married.  Maybe if they had they wouldn't have gotten married and none of what is going on now would be going on.  You can't force a man to want to be a father just as you can't force a woman to want to be a mother.  No it isn't right what he is doing but he has the right to ignore his younger daughter and as an adult she needs to come to terms with that fact and stop expecting him to treat her like he does her sister.  Life isn't fair and reality isn't always sweet.  It is her who needs to grow up and move on and stoip expecting anything from her father, and as her mother I'd be telling her that.  

Not to get to TMI, but I was told I probably wouldn't have kids, my X knowing that refused to use condoms, he knew I wasn't on any kind of Birth control.

Secondly, I don't know many Mothers that would tell their 19 yr old girls to stop expecting anything from their own father, or expect to be treated as farily as their sister, THAT is cruel. I have told her, SHE knows from past experience how he has been, and I wouldn't expect much from him. You have no idea how this young lady (as a little girl) would seek any form of attention from this arse!.

A laptop, is the least he could do for her! He hasn't seen what he has done to her as I have,( & therapy).

The older daughter as much as I love her, has her own life, kids, & husband to worry about, she need to worry about her own back door, and not what her father may or may not be getting for her sister!


planning a wedding


gr8d8n3mom
by Bronze Member on May. 3, 2012 at 4:48 PM


Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting gr8d8n3mom:


Quoting CoeyG:

You said it yourself your ex spoiled the oldest daughter and it is quite obvious that he didn't want the younger one.  This is all stuff you and he should have discussed before you got married actually.  There is no real advice I can give other than stay out of the battles between your daughters.  You are aware of how their father treats them and they are well aware of it.  None of that is going to change.  What you can do is when they come tattling to you is to simply tell them to leave you out of it, you don't want to hear it and if they have a problem with the way the father is then they need to take it up with him, not you and that includes your younger daughter.  She needs to stop expecting you to fix things for her with her father.  You are no longer married to him and how he treats her is between the two of them now that she is an adult.  

Actually YDD doesn't expect me to fix things with her & her dad. She knows how he is, and she is trying or maybe not trying to fix what they may or may not have as a relationship.  YDD knows it's between them now, nothing I can do.

And yet you keep blaming him and trying to get in the middle of it.  You need to face the fact that there is nothing you can do and move on.  

I don't get  in the middle, and yes he is to blame for some of it,tho yes I have faced the fact there is nothing I can do.


planning a wedding


CoeyG
by on May. 3, 2012 at 4:51 PM


Quoting gr8d8n3mom:


Quoting CoeyG:


Quoting gmadiane:

I feel awful for her, dad needs to grow up

Dad didn't want her to begin with.  I am not saying she shouldn't have been born, however both parents should have discussed wanting children and how many children prior to getting married.  Maybe if they had they wouldn't have gotten married and none of what is going on now would be going on.  You can't force a man to want to be a father just as you can't force a woman to want to be a mother.  No it isn't right what he is doing but he has the right to ignore his younger daughter and as an adult she needs to come to terms with that fact and stop expecting him to treat her like he does her sister.  Life isn't fair and reality isn't always sweet.  It is her who needs to grow up and move on and stoip expecting anything from her father, and as her mother I'd be telling her that.  

Not to get to TMI, but I was told I probably wouldn't have kids, my X knowing that refused to use condoms, he knew I wasn't on any kind of Birth control.

Secondly, I don't know many Mothers that would tell their 19 yr old girls to stop expecting anything from their own father, or expect to be treated as farily as their sister, THAT is cruel. I have told her, SHE knows from past experience how he has been, and I wouldn't expect much from him. You have no idea how this young lady (as a little girl) would seek any form of attention from this arse!.

A laptop, is the least he could do for her! He hasn't seen what he has done to her as I have,( & therapy).

The older daughter as much as I love her, has her own life, kids, & husband to worry about, she need to worry about her own back door, and not what her father may or may not be getting for her sister!

By 19 I am sure your daughter knew not to expect much from her father.  You wouldn't have had to tell her anything she didn't know already.  So he didn't get her a lpatop, that's life.  Yeah it's cruel...but life isn't all rainbows and lollipops and if the cruelst thing he is ever going to do is not get her a laptop geeze she's Friggin lucky.  There are kids out there who's parents beat the shit out of them, there are parents who put there children into a car and then drive the car into a lake and drown their children because they don't want them.  There are parents who literally pick their babies up and throw them against the wall.  There are girls who leave their babies in dumpsters because they don't want them.  There are men who beat their children to death.  And you're bitching about a frigging laptop?  You're gripping because he shows her no attation?  At least he hasn't put her in the hospital, or a grave.  

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)